What happened

[Haumana]

But then again, I have always had unwavering faith that no matter what, I'll be fine. Intrinsic. Fundamental. Navel gazing has me wondering where that comes from and I would have to attribute it to my Dad and Grandma. Strong stock #alwaysheads

[Smitty-48]

But then again, I have always had unwavering faith that no matter what, I'll be fine. Intrinsic. Fundamental. Navel gazing has me wondering where that comes from and I would have to attribute it to my Dad and Grandma. Strong stock #alwaysheads

well nothing really bad has ever happened to me, I got everything I ever wanted

so there is no reason for me to think things are going to go badly, since they never really have

I was just suffering from Hypervigilance for awhile, it was dragging me down

but then I was saved by the Lord again, so the faith is based in truth

[Haumana]

But then again, I have always had unwavering faith that no matter what, I'll be fine. Intrinsic. Fundamental. Navel gazing has me wondering where that comes from and I would have to attribute it to my Dad and Grandma. Strong stock #alwaysheads

well nothing really bad has ever happened to me, I got everything I ever wanted

so there is no reason for me to think things are going to go badly, since they never really have

I was just suffering from Hypervigilance for awhile, it was dragging me down

but then I was saved by the Lord again, so the faith is based in truth

No disagreement here. Yeah, getting caught up in shit that really don't matter is a problem. I can get in that spiral too, but then I look around at my immediate day to day life and it doesn't exist. Mirages that keep people chasing. Meh.

[Smitty-48]

and again, when you have a wife like mine, you count that blessing all day every day

you wake up in the morning, in awe of her

this is my wife, I am a lucky guy

what was I feeling bad about again ? I can't remember now

the only thing was that she was on the road so much, she wasn't around

when she was gone, the Hypervigilance started to pull me down, I started hitting the bottle hard

but whenever I have been in the breach, there has been a force, guiding me, protecting me

so I reached out to that force, and it came upon me, like a firestorm of music

[Smitty-48]

But then again, I have always had unwavering faith that no matter what, I'll be fine. Intrinsic. Fundamental. Navel gazing has me wondering where that comes from and I would have to attribute it to my Dad and Grandma. Strong stock #alwaysheads

well nothing really bad has ever happened to me, I got everything I ever wanted

so there is no reason for me to think things are going to go badly, since they never really have

I was just suffering from Hypervigilance for awhile, it was dragging me down

but then I was saved by the Lord again, so the faith is based in truth

No disagreement here. Yeah, getting caught up in shit that really don't matter is a problem. I can get in that spiral too, but then I look around at my immediate day to day life and it doesn't exist. Mirages that keep people chasing. Meh.

it's hard to put into words

but the metaphor is truth

a Mountain standing, right behind me

a firestorm of music

shoulders lifting towards the sky

everything looks different, all that is good is shining, everything else fades into the background

then it subsides, and you are chasing it for the rest of your days, following the path

[Haumana]

and again, when you have a wife like mine, you count that blessing all day every day

you wake up in the morning, in awe of her

this is my wife, I am a lucky guy

what was I feeling bad about again ? I can't remember now

the only thing was that she was on the road so much, she wasn't around

when she was gone, the Hypervigilance started to pull me down, I started hitting the bottle hard

but whenever I have been in the breach, there has been a force, guiding me, protecting me

so I reached out to that force, and it came upon me, like a firestorm of music

Word. Strong females for the win. I have never reached out but always have know of that force. It gives one strength. But sometimes it can be counterproductive and I have to check my shit. Reexamine, take stock of what I actually enjoy in this life and that leads me back to #headsup lucky penny. I guess I can call it Jesus.

[Haumana]

it's hard to put into words

but the metaphor is truth

a Mountain standing, right behind me

a firestorm of music

shoulders lifting towards the sky

everything looks different, all that is good is shining, everything else fades into the background

then it subsides, and you are chasing it for the rest of your days, following the path

Isn't that what they say about heroin? Chasing the dragon? (Joke)

One obsession being replaced by another?

[Smitty-48]

I guess I can call it Jesus.

even just the idea of Jesus is enough

if you just follow the idea, you are saved

even if you don't have conviction, it is evolutionary biology

you need to ascend the male dominance hierarchy to be happy, you need to be the man

Jesus is the ultimate Alpha, leading the apex predator males from the darkness to the light

[Smitty-48]

it's hard to put into words

but the metaphor is truth

a Mountain standing, right behind me

a firestorm of music

shoulders lifting towards the sky

everything looks different, all that is good is shining, everything else fades into the background

then it subsides, and you are chasing it for the rest of your days, following the path

Isn't that what they say about heroin? Chasing the dragon? (Joke)

One obsession being replaced by another?

I don't know, I've never tried opiates

I do liquor, tobacky, coffee & weed

but this wasn't drugs, it was like nothing I have felt before

it wasn't from smoking weed, I'm a Head, weed doesn't make me hallucinate nor anything like that

it's not an obsession neither

I just feel good, then I do good, then good things happen, it's a smooth ride

[Haumana]

even just the idea of Jesus is enough

if you just follow the idea, you are saved

even if you don't have conviction, it is evolutionary biology

you need to ascend the male dominance hierarchy to be happy, you need to be the man

Jesus is the ultimate Alpha, leading the apex predator males from the darkness to the light

I get that. I also get that there has to be a captain of the ship. I didn't always know that but that was an overreaction to my upbringing but I know that now. But I knew that always in a way and that is why my mother and sister resent me to this very day. I am what they could not ever be on their best days,