What happened
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Re: What happened
But then again, I have always had unwavering faith that no matter what, I'll be fine. Intrinsic. Fundamental. Navel gazing has me wondering where that comes from and I would have to attribute it to my Dad and Grandma. Strong stock #alwaysheads
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Re: What happened
well nothing really bad has ever happened to me, I got everything I ever wanted
so there is no reason for me to think things are going to go badly, since they never really have
I was just suffering from Hypervigilance for awhile, it was dragging me down
but then I was saved by the Lord again, so the faith is based in truth
Nec Aspera Terrent
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Re: What happened
No disagreement here. Yeah, getting caught up in shit that really don't matter is a problem. I can get in that spiral too, but then I look around at my immediate day to day life and it doesn't exist. Mirages that keep people chasing. Meh.Smitty-48 wrote: ↑Thu Aug 12, 2021 7:04 amwell nothing really bad has ever happened to me, I got everything I ever wanted
so there is no reason for me to think things are going to go badly, since they never really have
I was just suffering from Hypervigilance for awhile, it was dragging me down
but then I was saved by the Lord again, so the faith is based in truth
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Re: What happened
and again, when you have a wife like mine, you count that blessing all day every day
you wake up in the morning, in awe of her
this is my wife, I am a lucky guy
what was I feeling bad about again ? I can't remember now
the only thing was that she was on the road so much, she wasn't around
when she was gone, the Hypervigilance started to pull me down, I started hitting the bottle hard
but whenever I have been in the breach, there has been a force, guiding me, protecting me
so I reached out to that force, and it came upon me, like a firestorm of music
you wake up in the morning, in awe of her
this is my wife, I am a lucky guy
what was I feeling bad about again ? I can't remember now
the only thing was that she was on the road so much, she wasn't around
when she was gone, the Hypervigilance started to pull me down, I started hitting the bottle hard
but whenever I have been in the breach, there has been a force, guiding me, protecting me
so I reached out to that force, and it came upon me, like a firestorm of music
Nec Aspera Terrent
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- Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2016 3:22 am
Re: What happened
it's hard to put into wordsHaumana wrote: ↑Thu Aug 12, 2021 7:11 amNo disagreement here. Yeah, getting caught up in shit that really don't matter is a problem. I can get in that spiral too, but then I look around at my immediate day to day life and it doesn't exist. Mirages that keep people chasing. Meh.Smitty-48 wrote: ↑Thu Aug 12, 2021 7:04 amwell nothing really bad has ever happened to me, I got everything I ever wanted
so there is no reason for me to think things are going to go badly, since they never really have
I was just suffering from Hypervigilance for awhile, it was dragging me down
but then I was saved by the Lord again, so the faith is based in truth
but the metaphor is truth
a Mountain standing, right behind me
a firestorm of music
shoulders lifting towards the sky
everything looks different, all that is good is shining, everything else fades into the background
then it subsides, and you are chasing it for the rest of your days, following the path
Nec Aspera Terrent
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Re: What happened
Word. Strong females for the win. I have never reached out but always have know of that force. It gives one strength. But sometimes it can be counterproductive and I have to check my shit. Reexamine, take stock of what I actually enjoy in this life and that leads me back to #headsup lucky penny. I guess I can call it Jesus.Smitty-48 wrote: ↑Thu Aug 12, 2021 7:12 amand again, when you have a wife like mine, you count that blessing all day every day
you wake up in the morning, in awe of her
this is my wife, I am a lucky guy
what was I feeling bad about again ? I can't remember now
the only thing was that she was on the road so much, she wasn't around
when she was gone, the Hypervigilance started to pull me down, I started hitting the bottle hard
but whenever I have been in the breach, there has been a force, guiding me, protecting me
so I reached out to that force, and it came upon me, like a firestorm of music
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- Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2016 9:48 am
Re: What happened
Isn't that what they say about heroin? Chasing the dragon? (Joke)Smitty-48 wrote: ↑Thu Aug 12, 2021 7:21 amit's hard to put into words
but the metaphor is truth
a Mountain standing, right behind me
a firestorm of music
shoulders lifting towards the sky
everything looks different, all that is good is shining, everything else fades into the background
then it subsides, and you are chasing it for the rest of your days, following the path
One obsession being replaced by another?
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Re: What happened
even just the idea of Jesus is enough
if you just follow the idea, you are saved
even if you don't have conviction, it is evolutionary biology
you need to ascend the male dominance hierarchy to be happy, you need to be the man
Jesus is the ultimate Alpha, leading the apex predator males from the darkness to the light
Nec Aspera Terrent
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Re: What happened
I don't know, I've never tried opiatesHaumana wrote: ↑Thu Aug 12, 2021 7:24 amIsn't that what they say about heroin? Chasing the dragon? (Joke)Smitty-48 wrote: ↑Thu Aug 12, 2021 7:21 amit's hard to put into words
but the metaphor is truth
a Mountain standing, right behind me
a firestorm of music
shoulders lifting towards the sky
everything looks different, all that is good is shining, everything else fades into the background
then it subsides, and you are chasing it for the rest of your days, following the path
One obsession being replaced by another?
I do liquor, tobacky, coffee & weed
but this wasn't drugs, it was like nothing I have felt before
it wasn't from smoking weed, I'm a Head, weed doesn't make me hallucinate nor anything like that
it's not an obsession neither
I just feel good, then I do good, then good things happen, it's a smooth ride
Nec Aspera Terrent
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Re: What happened
I get that. I also get that there has to be a captain of the ship. I didn't always know that but that was an overreaction to my upbringing but I know that now. But I knew that always in a way and that is why my mother and sister resent me to this very day. I am what they could not ever be on their best days,Smitty-48 wrote: ↑Thu Aug 12, 2021 7:26 am
even just the idea of Jesus is enough
if you just follow the idea, you are saved
even if you don't have conviction, it is evolutionary biology
you need to ascend the male dominance hierarchy to be happy, you need to be the man
Jesus is the ultimate Alpha, leading the apex predator males from the darkness to the light