considering suicide

[Smitty-48]

If there's a forum member my wife would be attracted to, I bet it would be Carlus Magnus

It's going to be someone completely different from her

[Smitty-48]

That's what I was thinking. Besides we could live comfortably just on the household savings in single malt and Havana cigars.
I think Smitty should sell me in terms of handsome, witty and my ability to make a great househusband.
I'm sure she'd appreciate a nice homecooked meal as soon as she walked through the door after a hard day's work.
I'm only planning this for altruistic reasons to make sure Mrs Smitty doesn't get lonely in her old age.

The problem for you is that you would be in the Friend Zone

You would get along, but she's not attracted to girly men, every guy she thinks is hot is more like me

In that case, you need to push the rugby playing, rugged, farm labourer angle and forget the househusband side of things.
I'm a decent mechanic, competent electrician, half-decent carpenter and used to using a chainsaw and an axe.
I can do manly things when required.

You're too much like her, you'd be in the friend zone.

[Montegriffo]

If there's a forum member my wife would be attracted to, I bet it would be Carlus Magnus

It's going to be someone completely different from her

Yes, but he's already got a good woman and as far as I know he's not a Mormon.
If not me then I would nominate Nukedog. He's a gun-loving, fist fighting, romantic drunkard just like yourself and he's in need of somewhere to have a shower right now.

[StCapps]

The problem for you is that you would be in the Friend Zone

You would get along, but she's not attracted to girly men, every guy she thinks is hot is more like me

Speech Banning Gun Grabbing Bleeding Heart Liberal Friend Zone for the fail, womp womp.

She's always had a thing for Bill Goldberg, so that's the kinda guy she thinks is hot, she's not attracted to a dude version of herself, opposites attract.

So get jacked, shave my head, grow a goatee and work on my spear. Duly noted.

[Smitty-48]

Speech Banning Gun Grabbing Bleeding Heart Liberal Friend Zone for the fail, womp womp.

She's always had a thing for Bill Goldberg, so that's the kinda guy she thinks is hot, she's not attracted to a dude version of herself, opposites attract.

So get jacked, shave my head, grow a goatee and work on my spear. Duly noted.

Most of the time she's a control freak, corporate boss lady, independent woman

But when it comes to attraction, she's want to submit to a big strong man who will pick her up and carry her off to bed

[StCapps]

She's always had a thing for Bill Goldberg, so that's the kinda guy she thinks is hot, she's not attracted to a dude version of herself, opposites attract.

So get jacked, shave my head, grow a goatee and work on my spear. Duly noted.

Most of the time she's a control freak, corporate boss lady, independent woman

But when it comes to attraction, she's want to submit to a big strong man who will pick her up and carry her off to bed

My laid back combined with my stubbornness would clash with the control freak thing, but the not being able to be controlled thing seems to play in your favor, so I could I probably make it work in mine as well.

[Smitty-48]

So get jacked, shave my head, grow a goatee and work on my spear. Duly noted.

Most of the time she's a control freak, corporate boss lady, independent woman

But when it comes to attraction, she's want to submit to a big strong man who will pick her up and carry her off to bed

My laid back nature would clash with the control freak thing, but the not being able to be controlled thing seems to play in your favor, so I assume it would play in mine as well.

She's not into Latin guys, an Italian would have no chance,

[StCapps]

Most of the time she's a control freak, corporate boss lady, independent woman

But when it comes to attraction, she's want to submit to a big strong man who will pick her up and carry her off to bed

My laid back nature would clash with the control freak thing, but the not being able to be controlled thing seems to play in your favor, so I assume it would play in mine as well.

She's not into Latin guys, an Italian would have no chance,

I'm only half Italian, and far paler than most Italians, might not be a deal breaker.

[Smitty-48]

My laid back nature would clash with the control freak thing, but the not being able to be controlled thing seems to play in your favor, so I assume it would play in mine as well.

She's not into Latin guys, an Italian would have no chance,

I'm only half Italian, and far paler than most Italians, might not be a deal breaker.

The guy she dated before me was Italian, and he liked to humiliate her in public, so she's already been there done that and wouldn't go back again.

Woodbridge WOP, he was abusive, he didn't smack her around, but he psychologically abused her,

[StCapps]

She's not into Latin guys, an Italian would have no chance,

I'm only half Italian, and far paler than most Italians, might not be a deal breaker.

The guy she dated before me was Italian, and he liked to humiliate her in public, so she's already been there done that and wouldn't go back again.

Woodbridge WOP, he was abusive, he didn't smack her around, but he psychologically abused her,

I'm not big on public humiliation or abuse, I think I'm good there. I have enough non-Italian heritage for it not be a deal breaker. Even if I encounter initial resistance, persistence ftw, I'll jiu-jitsu it into a positive.

Besides most Italians don't have you vouching for them, so there's that. With all the things about me that you've told her over the years, I imagine would make a difference, and if it didn't, I don't mind a challenge, especially if the prize is worth it.