Selfishness vs Selflessness

[Kath]

I don't want to live without being around them, and most likely, I wouldn't be able to see them more than 2 days a week, while I'm working to support them. Also, yes, I'm not sure that I could even afford to do so, while paying for them. Then there's the remote possibility that she moves some other sucker into the house, and I can't protect them. So.... I guess I'm here as a warning to others.

This is what it means to "take responsibility". It's asking a hell of a lot more than people tend to think, when they discuss it.

This does make me sad and wonder how this is the fault of females. I'm not this woman; nor are most. Again with the ewwww. To have sex with a woman without realizing babies were an option and not wanting her while that was happening... this is my fault, how?

Assholes are assholes. Gender is irrelevant. Depending on the cultural swing, courts side with women or men, depending. Maybe don't marry and procreate with an asshole? dunno/ decided not to have kids when I realized I'm too selfish to provide that. I strongly appreciate those who do and do not chastise those who would rather not. Not everyone is cut out of parent and not everyone is cut out to promote forward progress.

[SuburbanFarmer]

The kids are indeed everything. Now you need to decide if you're better off in your current situation or in a separated situation. Kids know when there's no love between their parents and it's not good for them to buy into that. Have you thought about setting up your own household?

Every few days, yeah.

I don't want to live without being around them, and most likely, I wouldn't be able to see them more than 2 days a week, while I'm working to support them. Also, yes, I'm not sure that I could even afford to do so, while paying for them. Then there's the remote possibility that she moves some other sucker into the house, and I can't protect them. So.... I guess I'm here as a warning to others.

This is what it means to "take responsibility". It's asking a hell of a lot more than people tend to think, when they discuss it.

What if you get shared custody?

In the scenario that I get half-custody, do I avoid paying child support? Sources tell me no, despite the obvious fairness of that arrangement.

Because that's the only way that it would work financially, when paying for daycare half the week.

[SuburbanFarmer]

To have sex with a woman without realizing babies were an option and not wanting her while that was happening... this is my fault, how?

Check your local bar scene 7 nights/week.

Didn't say that it was her fault, necessarily. I was told that she was on birth control, but that doesn't seem to have any bearing in the court system - which I am carefully avoiding at all cost.

[Speaker to Animals]

I think the days of child support slavery will come to an end when increasingly more women get slammed by it. When it's mostly men nobody gives a shit. A few alienated mothers start hanging themselves in despair, and it will become a national crisis.

[SuburbanFarmer]

I think the days of child support slavery will come to an end when increasingly more women get slammed by it. When it's mostly men nobody gives a shit. A few alienated mothers start hanging themselves in despair, and it will become a national crisis.

From what I've seen, women almost never pay child support.

A female friend of mine was actually ordered to pay support a year ago, never paid a dime of it, and simply lost visitation rights. No jail time, no warrant, nothing else.

[Kath]

I was told that she was on birth control, but that doesn't seem to have any bearing in the court system - which I am carefully avoiding at all cost.

That explains exactly one baby. Don't you have three? At some point, it's beyond mistake.

[Kath]

From what I've seen, women almost never pay child support.

Giada De Laurentiis will tell you that SHARED custody with a fellow millionaire will cost you thousands of dollars a month that she has to give to the father.

[SuburbanFarmer]

I was told that she was on birth control, but that doesn't seem to have any bearing in the court system - which I am carefully avoiding at all cost.

That explains exactly one baby. Don't you have three? At some point, it's beyond mistake.

First one, yep. I had my own apartment, when I learned he was coming. I dumped the lease and moved back in. This is where guilt came into play. Her kid was 3 when I moved out, and I felt like shit leaving him behind. So I had them coming over once in a while, just to visit. She used it as an opening to weasel her way into my life, and pressured me into taking her out for a night. I don't know what I was thinking, but I fucked myself.

Then the Cubbies won it all, and I decided to fuck the warm thing in my bed. Twins came along, and I was triple-done with life. C'est la vie.

[Kath]

Didn't say that it was her fault, necessarily. I was told that she was on birth control, but that doesn't seem to have any bearing in the court system - which I am carefully avoiding at all cost.

Let's say a man told you you the land you were buying for $100/SF was worth $1,000/SF, so you said, Okee Dokie and bought it. If you first, sign the contract and second, find out it's worth $50/SF, how is it the seller's fault that you fell for a scam? Those Nigerian Prince's are all going to jail, sure, but at some point, trust but verify comes into play. You may not go to jail, but your money is long gone.....

[SuburbanFarmer]

Didn't say that it was her fault, necessarily. I was told that she was on birth control, but that doesn't seem to have any bearing in the court system - which I am carefully avoiding at all cost.

Let's say a man told you you the land you were buying for $100/SF was worth $1,000/SF, so you said, Okee Dokie and bought it. If you first, sign the contract and second, find out it's worth $50/SF, how is it the seller's fault that you fell for a scam? Those Nigerian Prince's are all going to jail, sure, but at some point, trust but verify comes into play. You may not go to jail, but your money is long gone.....

...which is why there's no point in blaming her. She's only acting on a lower level, reacting to emotion and impulse. I can't blame a dog for chasing a stick.