Lessons From Africa

[Martin Hash]

Washing Machine Fence.jpg

Everything Has a Second Life as a Building Material

Discarded appliances, such as freezers and washing machines, are mighty useful in non-conventional capacities. Every fisherman has an old, rusted box freezer on his hand-built lorry to hold fish in, and gutted washing machines can serve a second useful life as a fence. Of course, any and all refuse can be used to hold down the tin roof of your mud-brick hovel.

Don’t Camp Under A Mango Tree

During the couple weeks of ripening, mangos fall from heights of 20-25 feet about once every 15 minutes. A mango weights about half a pound, and a tent acts as a trampoline, so from that height the mango bounces 10 feet or so back into the air, ricocheting every which way – that is, of course, your head is not an inadvertent dampener.

Lunch

Buying lunch is a stressful event, only overcome by extreme hunger. Food is whatever the local ladies are cooking on the old car wheel filled with charcoalized wood: maze, scones, unidentifiable meats. The concept of personal hygiene is totally foreign: hands are used for all purposes without intervening washing or other form of sanitation. It is important not to contemplate what circumstances the food passed through before passing your lips.

Toilet

A “bush” toilet consists of stopping the truck and pissing on the tire if you’re a guy, or abandoning all modesty and dignity if you’re a gal – every woman wishes she were a man during those few moments. However, a bush whiz is much preferable to what passes for a toilet in inhabited areas – usually an incredibly dirty and smelly hole in the ground. If you’ve got a choice, always wait for the bush.

Anti-Americanism

Don’t take the fact that you’re an American personally: people from other countries may hate your guts but when you get home you can eat at McDonalds any time you feel like, and wait for cars to stop at the crosswalk over and over again – it will make you feel better.

Music

Enjoy all kinds of music: rap, rock, show tunes, comedy, oldies, big band, blues, elevator, satire. There is no silence - the closest thing is the road noise of tires on asphalt.

Batteries

Buy disposable batteries. Otherwise, can you fistfight? You’re going to need to be proficient if you want to charge anything on the truck invertor.

Generosity

Travel is an inherently selfish activity – expect people who travel to be selfish. If you meet a fellow traveler who will put their peanut butter in the public locker, wink at them in thanks but don’t expect to meet another generous person – you’ll just be disappointed.

Deodorant

Don’t bother wearing deodorant: nobody else is, and the smell of open sewers and rotting garbage pretty much kills your sense of smell anyway.

Tidbits

If something is free, like water, don’t make an ass of yourself by taking enough for 10 people.

You don’t always have to be first in line but never be last.

One change of clothes will do, thank you very much.