My Middle-Aged Crazies happened late; I didn't leave my wife, but the recognition of mortality definitely did a number on me, and since I'd already had fancy sports cars and ridiculous clothes, other erratic desires began to take hold. I know I was in a state because one day, the only time it ever happened, I clicked one of those ad banners while Googling something insignificant. I'm thinking that click was Middle-Aged Crazy related because all the ad said was “Travel Africa.” I really hadn't thought of it before that exact second but traveling Africa seemed like a great idea. In fact, that evening while we were getting into the car to go someplace, I asked my wife, Gwynne, if she wanted to travel Africa, and she said yes so, of course, I signed us up.
A few days later I mentioned we would be leaving for Africa in March. Gwynne seemed pleased.
“We need to buy some travel clothes,” I told her.
She liked that idea too.
“And we need to get a tent.”
Somewhere in that sentence, I lost Gwynne.
“Why do we need a tent?” she asked, suspiciously.
“And we need sleeping bags.”
Gwynne was looking increasingly concerned. She stood silent for a few moments.
“How long are we going to be in Africa?” she finally asked.
“I don't know? A year maybe?”
Africa is kinda how you'd thought it'd be if you watched Tarzan movies as a kid, except there's more bugs and diarrhea. The first couple months were really tough but Gwynne and I met an Australian couple about our same age, a doctor and his wife, a pediatric nurse like Gwynne. We hung out with them, and became good friends. Phil & Annie Hall were their names, and they were in Africa to visit children in the villages. We traveled with them for about 4 months, and went with them to the Albert Schweitzer museum in Lambarene, Gabon and other hospitals in the African bush.
Near the end of our trip, Gwynne and I had a discussion about what we were going to do when we got home, me specifically, because she said we weren't going to Africa again. I suggested she go to Medical School, but she wasn't interested. I thought about our travels with Phil & Annie; they said they were going to Asia to do their medical thing. It seemed like something I'd like to do, so I asked Gwynne if she would want to do Doctors Without Borders.
“But I don't want to be a doctor,” she replied.
I was quiet.
“Oh... You want to be a doctor?” she guessed.
“We could travel all around the world with Phil & Annie,” I explained.
Remarkably, Gwynne also thought that was a good idea, so I went through the trials and tribulations of getting into Medical School, which is no small feat for a 50-year old I assure you. I took a circuitous path through Northumbria University in Newcastle, England, then a year on the Island of Grenada, then to the United States for rotations. Because our goal was world traveling doctors, I picked hospitals in the U.S. that were reminiscent of what we saw in Africa, but without the flies. I did Medicine, GI & Oncology in East Oakland for a year, then ER in Harlem, Peds in South Miami, and finally OB in the Bronx. Way more patients at these places didn't speak English than did, so it already seemed like Doctors Without Borders except with borders.
Finally, I graduated, tested, and licensed in Missouri because it took the least years. Gwynne & I hadn't told Phil & Annie why I became a doctor, though Phil had written me a Letter of Recommendation. Instead we flew to Brisbane, Australia so see them. We were going to see other people too but Phil & Annie were the next step in my Middle-Aged Crazy quest, though I had aged out; I wasn't crazy anymore, I was just tired. I hadn't licensed until my late-50s and I was beat. There's a reason people need to start medicine young; it's too tough on old brains and bones.
Annie & Phil had a dinner for us. The had invited their doctor friends, and were going to make a big announcement. We thought it would be a perfect time to pitch us being medicine partners with them on their doctor journeys around the world. Annie is a great cook and she made up probably the best lamb I have ever eaten. Phil, who's not a drinker, had an entire bottle of fine wine, as did everyone else at the table. We were all in good spirits. I thought I'd wait for Phil's announcement before springing ours on him. Phil stood up, kind of wobbly from the wine.
“I want to thank all of you who came over tonight, especially our good American friends, Martin & Gwynne. Martin's a doctor now; good on ya, mate,” Phil began.
He toasted me and Gwynne; we all tipped our wine glasses.
“And now for the big announcement...”
Phil reveled in the silence around the table.
“After all these decades of traveling around the world, we have now been everywhere.”
Everybody cheered.
Then Annie stood up.
“And I'm done traveling,” she said, triumphantly.
Gwynne & I kept our mouths shut. We had a great time with Phil & Annie, and in Australia, the most romantic travel we'd ever experienced, then flew home to America.
“No more crazies,” Gwynne said decisively when we got home.
“What about setting up shop in Missouri?” I asked her.
She just looked at me sternly.
So I ran for the U.S. Congress instead.
Doctor
-
TheReal_ND
- Posts: 26035
- Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2016 6:23 pm
Re: Doctor
“But I don't want to be a doctor,” she replied.
I was quiet.
-
Kath
- Posts: 1825
- Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2017 7:14 am
Re: Doctor
Gwynne sure puts up with a lot from you. That said, you've been leading a pretty interesting life.
That said, you've been leading a pretty interesting life.Why are all the Gods such vicious cunts? Where's the God of tits and wine?
