Final Reminder for Birthday Presents

[heydaralon]

Please be sure to wish me a happy birthday today! I just turned 31. I know, I know, that is quite an old age to have never been kissed or never been laid, but I'm trying guys. I showed this girl at my work the daralon post count tag and she did not act like the girls in the Brazzers videos. What am I doing wrong? Do I need to bring out my hentai collection and show these girls that I am very open about my sexuality and comfortable with nudity? Please help. Send me some money if you can spare it. If you must know, I am signing up for a Pick Up Artist seminar so that I can learn the ways of women and approach them with confidence. The money will go towards that. I'm not going to do something stupid like use it on drugs or alcohol. Every penny you spend will be invested in personal growth using the Mystery Method and keeping it real when talking to some beautiful women. It will not be easy, but a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. When I masturbate I have developed techniques to edge and hold out on coming for longer, in anticipation for all the great sex I will soon be having. I even bought a fleshlight which I wedged in between my bed and my mattress (yes, it was the butthole one. No I am not gay, but vaginal sex has lost its allure in my rich fantasy palace of a mind. Why not utilize the other hole that is less than a dick length away? Having experience fucking synthetic rectum may come in handy if I come across any unforseen "backdoor beauties"). I accidentally fucked it to hard and bent my dick slightly to the left, moreso than it usually is. Nothing serious, just some minor contusions. I got this. Even without the money, I am putting this pledge into writing. I will get laid before this time next year. I will make a woman moan with pleasure, as I take her to sexual plateaus she has never realized were possible. I will prove my stepdad wrong, and show him that I can land more shrimp than a dolphin at Sea World. Someone archive this, because I always follow through. Some guys are just hot air. That ain't me baby, that aint daralon.

[C-Mag]

Happy B day Daralon, how are the donations coming from the sites bleeding hearts.

[Speaker to Animals]

I'm sending you a call girl for your birthday. Hopefully your girlfriend will be at work. Happy birthday!

[C-Mag]

I'm sending you a call girl for your birthday. Hopefully your girlfriend will be at work. Happy birthday!

What if they are the same girl

[Speaker to Animals]

I'm sending you a call girl for your birthday. Hopefully your girlfriend will be at work. Happy birthday!

What if they are the same girl

That actually happened recently according to a story I just read. A married man ordered a call girl to a hotel room and his wife showed up.

[heydaralon]

Happy B day Daralon, how are the donations coming from the sites bleeding hearts.

Not a single dollar. I am trying not to let this get to me, but its hard, especially when I have already budgeted my MHF birthday money into this month. Times are tough right now, and I'm doing my best to focus on the important, and let go of the superficial. Still, seeing the Hash community's cruel and selfish apathy toward my plight out in the open like this is quite a slap in the face. I expected a bit more from you in particular. I will probably forgive you, but it will take some time for me to get over this betrayal.

[heydaralon]

I'm sending you a call girl for your birthday. Hopefully your girlfriend will be at work. Happy birthday!

What if they are the same girl

That actually happened recently according to a story I just read. A married man ordered a call girl to a hotel room and his wife showed up.

Did she charge him for the hour?

[C-Mag]

Happy B day Daralon, how are the donations coming from the sites bleeding hearts.

Not a single dollar. I am trying not to let this get to me, but its hard, especially when I have already budgeted my MHF birthday money into this month. Times are tough right now, and I'm doing my best to focus on the important, and let go of the superficial. Still, seeing the Hash community's cruel and selfish apathy toward my plight out in the open like this is quite a slap in the face. I expected a bit more from you in particular. I will probably forgive you, but it will take some time for me to get over this betrayal.

You should appeal to Marty Hash, our host. He constantly brags about his wealth. He should be an easy mark. Then you should also appeal to Dr Youth for some good Scripts to get you through the holidays.

[heydaralon]

Happy B day Daralon, how are the donations coming from the sites bleeding hearts.

Not a single dollar. I am trying not to let this get to me, but its hard, especially when I have already budgeted my MHF birthday money into this month. Times are tough right now, and I'm doing my best to focus on the important, and let go of the superficial. Still, seeing the Hash community's cruel and selfish apathy toward my plight out in the open like this is quite a slap in the face. I expected a bit more from you in particular. I will probably forgive you, but it will take some time for me to get over this betrayal.

You should appeal to Marty Hash, our host. He constantly brags about his wealth. He should be an easy mark. Then you should also appeal to Dr Youth for some good Scripts to get you through the holidays.

Thanks for the Birthday advice! I am willing to count that as part of a gift. Christmas is about two weeks away. Just put a little more cash in for my Christmas present and we can call it even. Deal?

Martin still owes me big time after I put him onto that Amway investment. He knows what I'm talking about, and he made a killing off that MLM 401k thing.

[Speaker to Animals]

What if they are the same girl

That actually happened recently according to a story I just read. A married man ordered a call girl to a hotel room and his wife showed up.

Did she charge him for the hour?

They divorced.