A movie about 2 catapults in love...

Hwen Hoshino
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A movie about 2 catapults in love...

Post by Hwen Hoshino » Sun Jan 08, 2017 12:36 am

Hey Montegriffo, what should be the ideal budget, director writer and language be for such a movie. What should be the action and romance ratio? Also how do you picture two catapults fucking on screen?

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Montegriffo
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Re: A movie about 2 catapults in love...

Post by Montegriffo » Sun Jan 08, 2017 7:12 am

I have almost zero interest in catapults. A catapult is merely an inferior substitution for a trebuchet.
A film about trebuchets on the other hand would be well worth making but it would not be a love story.
A trebuchet is for knocking down castle walls and spreading fire and disease within those walls.
A film about a medieval castle siege written by someone like Bernard Cornwell so that it kept to historical accuracies would get me to the cinema to see a film for the first time in a decade but that is not what people want. What people want is game of thrones nonsense with dragons and magic powers.
For legal reasons, we are not threatening to destroy U.S. government property with our glorious medieval siege engine. But if we wanted to, we could. But we won’t. But we could.
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SuburbanFarmer
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Re: A movie about 2 catapults in love...

Post by SuburbanFarmer » Sun Jan 08, 2017 9:37 am

Montegriffo wrote:I have almost zero interest in catapults. A catapult is merely an inferior substitution for a trebuchet.
A film about trebuchets on the other hand would be well worth making but it would not be a love story.
A trebuchet is for knocking down castle walls and spreading fire and disease within those walls.
A film about a medieval castle siege written by someone like Bernard Cornwell so that it kept to historical accuracies would get me to the cinema to see a film for the first time in a decade but that is not what people want. What people want is game of thrones nonsense with dragons and magic powers.
Game of Thrones did feature some pretty sweet siege equipment, tho..
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Montegriffo
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Re: A movie about 2 catapults in love...

Post by Montegriffo » Sun Jan 08, 2017 9:46 am

But dragons. I can't even bring myself to watch it.
Just think how great the story of the siege of Sterling castle would be, a few dozen dirty Scots laughing at King Edward and his army, the failure of smaller trebuchets to breach the walls until Warwolf was brought into play......
Fuck, I might even write it myself.
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DrYouth
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Re: A movie about 2 catapults in love...

Post by DrYouth » Sun Jan 08, 2017 10:10 am

Montegriffo wrote:But dragons. I can't even bring myself to watch it.
Just think how great the story of the siege of Sterling castle would be, a few dozen dirty Scots laughing at King Edward and his army, the failure of smaller trebuchets to breach the walls until Warwolf was brought into play......
Fuck, I might even write it myself.
Don't let some weird qualm about dragons keep you from Game of Thrones...
That would be sad.
On the other hand if you are queasy about ice zombies as well... you might have a problem.
Even so... watch it!

Marco Polo had an episode or two dedicated to trebuchets...... you might want to check that out but it's not nearly as great a show as GoT.
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Montegriffo
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Re: A movie about 2 catapults in love...

Post by Montegriffo » Sun Jan 08, 2017 1:59 pm

DrYouth wrote:
Montegriffo wrote:But dragons. I can't even bring myself to watch it.
Just think how great the story of the siege of Sterling castle would be, a few dozen dirty Scots laughing at King Edward and his army, the failure of smaller trebuchets to breach the walls until Warwolf was brought into play......
Fuck, I might even write it myself.
Don't let some weird qualm about dragons keep you from Game of Thrones...
That would be sad.
On the other hand if you are queasy about ice zombies as well... you might have a problem.
Even so... watch it!

Marco Polo had an episode or two dedicated to trebuchets...... you might want to check that out but it's not nearly as great a show as GoT.
If I come across the box set in a bargain basket one day I might give it a go. I generally find these big budget TV series start well but go on for too long and end up running out of good stories. "Lost" "24hrs" "Heroes" and "under the dome" all being good examples of this. I will never get back the time wasted on those and am weary of doing it again. To be honest I am more likely to spend the time on "breaking bad" which I have never watched either.
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SuburbanFarmer
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Re: A movie about 2 catapults in love...

Post by SuburbanFarmer » Sun Jan 08, 2017 2:43 pm

Montegriffo wrote: "breaking bad" which I have never watched either.
What?

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Re: A movie about 2 catapults in love...

Post by Okeefenokee » Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:25 pm

Breaking Bad is head and shoulders better than GoT.

Don't bother with GoT until you've watched BB

GoT covers up it's shortcomings with violence and tits. Take those two things away, and it's less than mediocre.
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Montegriffo
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Re: A movie about 2 catapults in love...

Post by Montegriffo » Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:44 pm

Talking of good TV programs. I just watched the second of this years three new Sherlock episodes.
First one was good, particularly as it involved someone smashing busts of Margaret Thatcher but I was slightly worried because it was sub par. Tonight's story blew my mind. I won't give away any spoilers but when it is shown over there do not miss it. Sherlock honestly is one of the best TV dramas ever. One left now then another year to wait but as each episode is an hour and a half it is like getting three feature films a year so I shouldn't complain.
For legal reasons, we are not threatening to destroy U.S. government property with our glorious medieval siege engine. But if we wanted to, we could. But we won’t. But we could.
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SuburbanFarmer
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Re: A movie about 2 catapults in love...

Post by SuburbanFarmer » Sun Jan 08, 2017 3:59 pm

Montegriffo wrote:Talking of good TV programs. I just watched the second of this years three new Sherlock episodes.
First one was good, particularly as it involved someone smashing busts of Margaret Thatcher but I was slightly worried because it was sub par. Tonight's story blew my mind. I won't give away any spoilers but when it is shown over there do not miss it. Sherlock honestly is one of the best TV dramas ever. One left now then another year to wait but as each episode is an hour and a half it is like getting three feature films a year so I shouldn't complain.
Oh I absolutely love that show. It just takes forever to show up on Netflix or BBCA. :(

EDIT: Omg, Ep 1 and 2 are on tonight on PBS! You just made our week with this post. Well done, sir!
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