You hate me because I’m a reflection of your beliefs. I understand it.
Subaru Flounder stands as the high-water mark for insult comedy, tho. Up your game.
You hate me because I’m a reflection of your beliefs. I understand it.
I think causing someone harm necessarily calls on you to make sacrifices to repair the relationship.... I'm not sure I would call that servitude.SuburbanFarmer wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:14 pmI assigned you no victim status, but advised you to stand strong and redefine your relationship on equal terms. Don’t let the wound force you into a temporary state of servitude, because you’ll both resent it later.
And ummm, make it clear that she’s still appealing to you. With authority.
(Avoiding kaths triggers here)
We know your character pretty well, doc. It’s a one-time fuckup, and it happens.
Just part of being a family man.DrYouth wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:24 pmI think causing someone harm necessarily calls on you to make sacrifices to repair the relationship.... I'm not sure I would call that servitude.SuburbanFarmer wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:14 pmI assigned you no victim status, but advised you to stand strong and redefine your relationship on equal terms. Don’t let the wound force you into a temporary state of servitude, because you’ll both resent it later.
And ummm, make it clear that she’s still appealing to you. With authority.
(Avoiding kaths triggers here)
We know your character pretty well, doc. It’s a one-time fuckup, and it happens.
I think that IS the repair.
I think that is the definition of being sorry.
It's not just words, it has to be actions...
It has to be sacrifice... not something I am a natural at (like she is)... but something I can learn.
But the sacrifices have to be voluntary and not out of fear... acting out of fear is just instinct and grasping...
I discovered that I had to surrender the idea that I could control the outcome.
I would make sacrifices because it was the right thing to do.
I'm sorry about that; I would never (intentionally) mix any of your posts up with the Subaru brand.SuburbanFarmer wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:22 pmSubaru Flounder stands as the high-water mark for insult comedy, tho. Up your game.
I would, but I’m regularly painted with the same brush as the entire SJW clique, despite it being antithetical to my nature IRL.Fife wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:30 pmI'm sorry about that; I would never mix any of your posts up with the Subaru brand.SuburbanFarmer wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:22 pmSubaru Flounder stands as the high-water mark for insult comedy, tho. Up your game.
I'm not responsible for my impersonators, as I'm sure you will agree.
Your advice is good Grumps...SuburbanFarmer wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:26 pmJust part of being a family man.
Yes, there will be some appropriate period of contrition, but don’t make it the ‘new normal’. You are who you are.
It’s not easy being blamed for an entire lifetime of issues, I know.DrYouth wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:33 pmYour advice is good Grumps...SuburbanFarmer wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:26 pmJust part of being a family man.
Yes, there will be some appropriate period of contrition, but don’t make it the ‘new normal’. You are who you are.
I'm pretty good at not self flagellating... I mean really it's my strength.
What I wasn't good at was actually holding myself accountable and I'm getting better at that.
In the process of this I am an easy whipping boy for all my wife life injuries...
All of it came out directed at me... as you might imagine... obviously not fun.
So I have been standing strong under the onslaught... knowing what is mine and what isn't...
But it hasn't been easy... and I have been tempted to walk away... tempted often...
But I won't...
The worst of it is behind me now....
It's been getting easier... although it's still not easy.
My guilt is my friend...SuburbanFarmer wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:36 pmThe answers must not depend on your current feelings of guilt. You have to take the broader view, at a time like this, and make your decision. Then bend the universe to your will, and make it so, for that is what it means to be The Man.
All good things. Just don't let it determine your long-term course. It can fuck you in ways that you never imagined.DrYouth wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:44 pmMy guilt is my friend...SuburbanFarmer wrote: ↑Fri Jun 08, 2018 6:36 pmThe answers must not depend on your current feelings of guilt. You have to take the broader view, at a time like this, and make your decision. Then bend the universe to your will, and make it so, for that is what it means to be The Man.
I relish it.
It's teaching me about love and true connection...
I didn't have enough of it... and now I have a device to steer me straight on my path.
I know many suffer from pathological guilt... but I never did.
And I still don't.