Selfishness vs Selflessness

[SuburbanFarmer]

Has Van Helsing ever pardoned any vampires, tho?

I heard he granted a pardon, or some kind of clemency, to catass Flounder back in the day, though.

"No true vampire," and all that rot, eh wot?

:goteam: :drunk:

You hate me because I’m a reflection of your beliefs. I understand it.

Subaru Flounder stands as the high-water mark for insult comedy, tho. Up your game.

[DrYouth]

I assigned you no victim status, but advised you to stand strong and redefine your relationship on equal terms. Don’t let the wound force you into a temporary state of servitude, because you’ll both resent it later.

And ummm, make it clear that she’s still appealing to you. With authority.
(Avoiding kaths triggers here)

We know your character pretty well, doc. It’s a one-time fuckup, and it happens.

I think causing someone harm necessarily calls on you to make sacrifices to repair the relationship.... I'm not sure I would call that servitude.
I think that IS the repair.

I think that is the definition of being sorry.
It's not just words, it has to be actions...
It has to be sacrifice... not something I am a natural at (like she is)... but something I can learn.

But the sacrifices have to be voluntary and not out of fear... acting out of fear is just instinct and grasping...
I discovered that I had to surrender the idea that I could control the outcome.
I would make sacrifices because it was the right thing to do.

[SuburbanFarmer]

I assigned you no victim status, but advised you to stand strong and redefine your relationship on equal terms. Don’t let the wound force you into a temporary state of servitude, because you’ll both resent it later.

And ummm, make it clear that she’s still appealing to you. With authority.
(Avoiding kaths triggers here)

We know your character pretty well, doc. It’s a one-time fuckup, and it happens.

I think causing someone harm necessarily calls on you to make sacrifices to repair the relationship.... I'm not sure I would call that servitude.
I think that IS the repair.

I think that is the definition of being sorry.
It's not just words, it has to be actions...
It has to be sacrifice... not something I am a natural at (like she is)... but something I can learn.

But the sacrifices have to be voluntary and not out of fear... acting out of fear is just instinct and grasping...
I discovered that I had to surrender the idea that I could control the outcome.
I would make sacrifices because it was the right thing to do.

Just part of being a family man.

Yes, there will be some appropriate period of contrition, but don’t make it the ‘new normal’. You are who you are.

[Fife]

Subaru Flounder stands as the high-water mark for insult comedy, tho. Up your game.

I'm sorry about that; I would never (intentionally) mix any of your posts up with the Subaru brand.

I'm not responsible for my impersonators, as I'm sure you will agree.

[SuburbanFarmer]

Subaru Flounder stands as the high-water mark for insult comedy, tho. Up your game.

I'm sorry about that; I would never mix any of your posts up with the Subaru brand.

I'm not responsible for my impersonators, as I'm sure you will agree.

I would, but I’m regularly painted with the same brush as the entire SJW clique, despite it being antithetical to my nature IRL.

[DrYouth]

Just part of being a family man.

Yes, there will be some appropriate period of contrition, but don’t make it the ‘new normal’. You are who you are.

Your advice is good Grumps...

I'm pretty good at not self flagellating... I mean really it's my strength.
What I wasn't good at was actually holding myself accountable and I'm getting better at that.

In the process of this I am an easy whipping boy for all my wife life injuries... of which there are of course many.
All of it came out directed at me... as you might imagine... obviously not fun.
So I have been standing strong under the onslaught... knowing what is mine and what isn't... because she couldn't or didn't know.

But it hasn't been easy... and I have been tempted to walk away... tempted often...
But I won't...
The worst of it is behind me now....
It's been getting easier... although it's still not easy.

[SuburbanFarmer]

Just part of being a family man.

Yes, there will be some appropriate period of contrition, but don’t make it the ‘new normal’. You are who you are.

Your advice is good Grumps...

I'm pretty good at not self flagellating... I mean really it's my strength.
What I wasn't good at was actually holding myself accountable and I'm getting better at that.

In the process of this I am an easy whipping boy for all my wife life injuries...
All of it came out directed at me... as you might imagine... obviously not fun.
So I have been standing strong under the onslaught... knowing what is mine and what isn't...

But it hasn't been easy... and I have been tempted to walk away... tempted often...
But I won't...
The worst of it is behind me now....
It's been getting easier... although it's still not easy.

It’s not easy being blamed for an entire lifetime of issues, I know.

This is the key moment though. Can she recover, and hold you accountable only for your actions? Is she worth it for you to put up with the onslaught?

The answers must not depend on your current feelings of guilt. You have to take the broader view, at a time like this, and make your decision. Then bend the universe to your will, and make it so, for that is what it means to be The Man.

[DrYouth]

The answers must not depend on your current feelings of guilt. You have to take the broader view, at a time like this, and make your decision. Then bend the universe to your will, and make it so, for that is what it means to be The Man.

My guilt is my friend...
I relish it.
It's teaching me about love and true connection...
I didn't have enough of it... and now I have a device to steer me straight on my path.

I know many suffer from pathological guilt... but I never did.
And I still don't.

[SuburbanFarmer]

The answers must not depend on your current feelings of guilt. You have to take the broader view, at a time like this, and make your decision. Then bend the universe to your will, and make it so, for that is what it means to be The Man.

My guilt is my friend...
I relish it.
It's teaching me about love and true connection...
I didn't have enough of it... and now I have a device to steer me straight on my path.

I know many suffer from pathological guilt... but I never did.
And I still don't.

All good things. Just don't let it determine your long-term course. It can fuck you in ways that you never imagined.

[Speaker to Animals]

Subaru Flounder.