What if the forum was a D&D campaign?

[DrYouth]

Problem is the militant Gaians been recruiting heavily among the Druids...

Also chock full of Maenads... you know, those naked female warriors of Dionysus.... basically female berzerkers.

Tear people up and eat them according to legend...

On the plus side Armour Class 10.... unless you fail your saving throw against Panic.

[SuburbanFarmer]

When the Druid rolls a natural 20.

LMFAO

[Speaker to Animals]

He won't do that again. Fucking leaf.

[DrYouth]

On the other side MAGA has been recruiting among the worshipers of the Sky God...
MAGA claims to be tough on vices... and sky god worshipers like that... which is ironic on many levels... >cough< Stormy Daniels >cough<
MAGA also being allied with the War God... the military can lean towards MAGA... although he keeps claiming he wants to stay out of conflicts.
This can be confusing.

Trolls seem drawn to MAGA for unknown reasons.

In fact more than a few members of the forum are drawn to MAGA.
Only fair... given that we have a few non-militant Gaians here as well.
Probably most forum members are closer to the Mercurians... although there was that famous showdown with the Mercurians under the hospitality of Lord Carlin.
It's seems to be constant work to keep party members from killing each other for this reason... and the lulz, I suppose.

As far as I can tell MAGA would self destruct - if it weren't for the militant Gaians opposition to it... which keeps MAGA viable.

[Speaker to Animals]

I want to cut off a tiny piece of a troll finger and place it in TC's lunch sandwich. What do I roll?

[DrYouth]

[rolls dice]

Random Encounter

A troll appears...

It is lumbering and shuffling along, it appears to be drawn to your scent.

AC4, 6+6 hit dice monster, 36 hit points, Damage 5-8, 5-8, 5-12

It regenerates 3hp/round after round three...

You are a 3rd level Ranger, AC7 (if you want thief abilities with no penalties), two weapons allowed, 1-8 sword and 1-4 daggar, I assign you 20hp
No spells for now. Priest spells start at level 8.

Well, here's your opportunity!
This will probably take a few rolls.

[Speaker to Animals]

Rangers are dual wielders. Not a sword and a dagger, but two swords.

3rd level is stupid.

[DrYouth]

The troll appears to have picked up on your annoyance...

He is moving closer to investigate.

[Speaker to Animals]

Well if you are going to be a faggot DM who drops the, oh and now you are just third level bomb on players when you generate a monster that is not meant for third level characters, then I would rather just talk trash and not play your game.

You also changed my class.

[DrYouth]

Drow elf ranger...

That's how I remember it.

And you asked for an opportunity to harvest a troll finger...

so I was kind a wish granting... you should be grateful.