What if the forum was a D&D campaign?

[The Conservative]

Pfft, good luck. You can’t even get the spells you cast correctly. If we are going with you as a DM and ignore my actual actions that I’ve taken I may as well drop out now because you as a DM means we are all going to be fucked over six ways to Saturday and twice on Sunday.

You're just mad because you slipped face down on the ice and a genderqueerbeast is dry humping your leg.

roll 1d20 to determine if you are pregnant (it's how they reproduce).

And I’m out. You are by far the worst player I’ve seen in a while. Those steroids you take went to your brain and made you dumb.

[SuburbanFarmer]

Pfft, good luck. You can’t even get the spells you cast correctly. If we are going with you as a DM and ignore my actual actions that I’ve taken I may as well drop out now because you as a DM means we are all going to be fucked over six ways to Saturday and twice on Sunday.

You're just mad because you slipped face down on the ice and a genderqueerbeast is dry humping your leg.

roll 1d20 to determine if you are pregnant (it's how they reproduce).

And I’m out. You are by far the worst player I’ve seen in a while. Those steroids you take went to your brain and made you dumb.

He didn’t try to “stealth” out of a melee.

[DrYouth]

[rolls dice]

TC receives a blow to the head and goes down in a heap...

[rolls dice]

GC impales a Gaian on his sword...

A bolt from Clubby catches another in the neck.

[rolls dice]

The last Gaian fails his moral check...

And flees, emitting high pitched screams...

Obviously a LARPer.

TC has sustained a concussion... and hopefully learned a lesson...

GC may need some medical attention for the stray bolt... and after some fisticuffs between GC and CG... the party retreats to a nearby pub.

[Montegriffo]

From a poorly lit table in the corner of the bar Monte welcomes the gang with a cheerful
''Take a seat gentlemen, the game is no limit Orcan hold 'em buy in 100 gold pieces.''

[DBTrek]

When the Druid rolls a natural 20.

[DrYouth]

Can Druids use ungulates as projectile weapons?

I'm going to have to look that up in my Players Handbook.

[Speaker to Animals]

Not sure about 5e, but in 2e, druids had zero projectile spells that I can remember.

I think they could wield slings, though. 1d4 damage.

[DBTrek]

They can charm and command animals at fairly low levels, unless something has changed.

Jeez guys, I wasn’t suggesting a Druid was walking around with a deer launcher.

For all I know that deer was simply making one of the infamous deer-roads that connect Fife’s AnCap tax free civilization and this guy got in the way.

[Speaker to Animals]

Druids basically suck dick in exchange for not being slaughtered.

[DBTrek]