To Helicopter, or Not To Helicopter...

[SilverEagle]

Real talk.

How do other parents find the line between "helicopter" parenting, and not paying enough attention? I know that I lean towards the helicopter style, by mid-west standards, but I'm a negligent criminal compared to west-coasters. I'm deeply terrified of my kids getting hurt, and have been since they were born.

I'm not sure how this is normally dealt with by other parents, curious for honest opinions.

Basically in the same boat as you brother. But it's not surprising given that we live not only in the same region but in the same State.

Right? These people just let them fight to the death... LOL

[MilSpecs]

We let them do whatever they were physically capable of doing. One was a climber. I stood under her so I could break her fall if necessary. That was our general philosophy- just teach them how to climb properly and try to break the fall because you'll never stop them from climbing. And it turns out that whatever is 'climbing' for your child may save her later on when the real dangers rear their ugly heads.

[Smitty-48]

Basically in the same boat as you brother. But it's not surprising given that we live not only in the same region but in the same State.

Right? These people just let them fight to the death... LOL

Tell you what, growing up a Cake, in the hood with the Eyetalians, Porchoogayseh, and Jamaycans? Pretty much was like Sparta.

When you're the only Cake at the dance, you'd best be one tough as nails Cake, otherwise, they'd tear you to pieces like a pack of wolves, you had to represent, you had to throw down, just to make room, to walk to and from school.

To get to and from school, you had to run all three gauntlets, first the Eyetalians, then the Porkchops, and then the final test was the West Indies.

I got in so many fights, my parents started sending me to the Jewish neighbourhood to go to school there, but didn't do no good, cause I still had to run all three gauntlets in the hood, just to get to and from the bus stop.

Free reign in the 70's, maaan, you had free reign, but so did the Eyetalians, Porchoogayseh, and Jamaycans, and they had so much free reign, they could beat your ass down with impunity, it's not like their parents gave a shit, whatever, it's a Cake, who told him he could walk around here in our hood?

Of course my parents were Beatniks, so we can't be "too bourgeois", we had to "live amongst the working classes", but then they wonder why I keep coming home all bloody and beaten? "Dictatorship of the Proletariat" lol.

[de officiis]

Real talk.

How do other parents find the line between "helicopter" parenting, and not paying enough attention? I know that I lean towards the helicopter style, by mid-west standards, but I'm a negligent criminal compared to west-coasters. I'm deeply terrified of my kids getting hurt, and have been since they were born.

I'm not sure how this is normally dealt with by other parents, curious for honest opinions.

Maybe you should stop worrying about helicopters and start worrying about drones.

[clubgop]

It's a tough line to walk. For me, it's tough because my daughter is in the toddler stage and the wife and I are transitioning from having to do things for her to letting her do things herself. I try to keep a close eye on her and unless, she's really going to fuck herself up (e.g. clearly take a 3 ft. header onto the brick hearth), try not to intervene. Still find myself getting involved and asking myself "Should I have really done that or let her try it on her own?"

I'm hoping it'll become a little easier as she gets older and more capable/can pay attention to what's she's doing.

What makes you think you're helicoptering?

Mainly just because I see how relaxed other parents appear, while I'm a ball of terror inside, any time we leave the house.

My son is 3 also, and possessed by a demon. He's absolutely nuts sometimes, hitting, screaming, throwing things. I do have him trained not to leave the yard, so I'll leave him outside with his big bro.

But when we have a birthday party, for example, I can't take my eyes off him. He's constantly picking up a rake (for example) and swinging it around, or driving his Big Wheels into a tree, or hitting another kid, or... exhausting. Meanwhile, the other parents all just yuck it up and relax, not seeming to care what's going on until someone screams.

Also, it's a nightmare trying to get him to eat. I swear the kid is starving to death, if I don't battle him all evening.

We need background checks for rakes. Rakes are crowd killers man.

[Smitty-48]

Seriously, Grumpy, you gotta get a grip on yourself, the kid's not the problem, you are, if you're gonna be hysterical, your kids will pick up on that and then emulate you, fear is the mind killer, that's just makes them weak.

Second of all, don't give your kids complexes about eating, you'll just turn them into fat kids, if the kid isn't eating when he's not hungry, that's a good thing, don't mess with that.

Homo sapiens sapiens, they'll figure it out for themselves, don't over handle the troops, and always set an example of confidence, no fear. You're the ultimate drill instructor, they watch everything you do and they take it on board, so carry yourself at all times, with that in mind. Do you want your troops to be confident and fit, or do you want them to be fat and scared? Sort yourself out accordingly.

Relax in the saddle, find your zen, the kid doesn't overeat and likes to swing a rake? OK, great, so give him a baseball bat instead, maybe he'll break some furniture, but he could also make the Major Leagues someday. Whatever physical thing they are doing, harness that, and focus it on sports, that's what sports are for.

You want him to eat more and cause less shit? Sports all day, work up an appetite, pass out for a nap. No different than the troops, wake em up at 0530, run em, big breakfast, run em some more, big lunch, mo runnin', big supper, run em back to barracks, then they pass out. Once the troops are passed out, then the drill instructors can go drinkin' and chase some tail, or in your case you'll just pass out too, cuz you're weak.

Sounds like you got yourself a natural born jock there, don't try to hold him down with the fat, scared and weak, let him swing that hickory for all he's worth, no fear.

[clubgop]

Seriously, Grumpy, you gotta get a grip on yourself, the kid's not the problem, you are, if you're gonna be hysterical, your kids will pick up on that and then emulate you, fear is the mind killer, that's just makes them weak.

Second of all, don't give your kids complexes about eating, you'll just turn them into fat kids, if the kid isn't eating when he's not hungry, that's a good thing, don't mess with that.

Homo sapiens sapiens, they'll figure it out for themselves, don't over handle the troops, and always set an example of confidence, no fear. You're the ultimate drill instructor, they watch everything you do and they take it on board, so carry yourself at all times, with that in mind. Do you want your troops to be confident and fit, or do you want them to be fat and scared? Sort yourself out accordingly.

Relax in the saddle, find your zen, the kid doesn't overeat and likes to swing a rake? OK, great, so give him a baseball bat instead, maybe he'll break some furniture, but he could also make the Major Leagues someday. Whatever physical thing they are doing, harness that, and focus it on sports, that's what sports are for.

You want him to eat more and cause less shit? Sports all day, work up an appetite, pass out for a nap. No different than the troops, wake em up at 0530, run em, big breakfast, run em some more, big lunch, mo runnin', big supper, run em back to barracks, then they pass out. Once the troops are passed out, then the drill instructors can go drinkin' and chase some tail, or in your case you'll just pass out too, cuz you're weak.

Sounds like you got yourself a natural born jock there, don't try to hold him down with the fat, scared and weak, let him swing that hickory for all he's worth, no fear.

Nah, we need common sense rake laws

[SuburbanFarmer]

Seriously, Grumpy, you gotta get a grip on yourself, the kid's not the problem, you are, if you're gonna be hysterical, your kids will pick up on that and then emulate you, fear is the mind killer, that's just makes them weak.

Second of all, don't give your kids complexes about eating, you'll just turn them into fat kids, if the kid isn't eating when he's not hungry, that's a good thing, don't mess with that.

Homo sapiens sapiens, they'll figure it out for themselves, don't over handle the troops, and always set an example of confidence, no fear. You're the ultimate drill instructor, they watch everything you do and they take it on board, so carry yourself at all times, with that in mind. Do you want your troops to be confident and fit, or do you want them to be fat and scared? Sort yourself out accordingly.

Relax in the saddle, find your zen, the kid doesn't overeat and likes to swing a rake? OK, great, so give him a baseball bat instead, maybe he'll break some furniture, but he could also make the Major Leagues someday. Whatever physical thing they are doing, harness that, and focus it on sports, that's what sports are for.

You want him to eat more and cause less shit? Sports all day, work up an appetite, pass out for a nap. No different than the troops, wake em up at 0530, run em, big breakfast, run em some more, big lunch, mo runnin', big supper, run em back to barracks, then they pass out. Once the troops are passed out, then the drill instructors can go drinkin' and chase some tail, or in your case you'll just pass out too, cuz you're weak.

Sounds like you got yourself a natural born jock there, don't try to hold him down with the fat, scared and weak, let him swing that hickory for all he's worth, no fear.

I never show fear or uncertainty around him. And you're right, he does need some sports in his life. We just don't have any time to do that with him, having twin babies in the house. It's a problem because he's constantly waking them up with his racket.

Next year will be better, I just wish I could tranquilize his ass until then.

[Ex-California]

Seriously, Grumpy, you gotta get a grip on yourself, the kid's not the problem, you are, if you're gonna be hysterical, your kids will pick up on that and then emulate you, fear is the mind killer, that's just makes them weak.

Second of all, don't give your kids complexes about eating, you'll just turn them into fat kids, if the kid isn't eating when he's not hungry, that's a good thing, don't mess with that.

Homo sapiens sapiens, they'll figure it out for themselves, don't over handle the troops, and always set an example of confidence, no fear. You're the ultimate drill instructor, they watch everything you do and they take it on board, so carry yourself at all times, with that in mind. Do you want your troops to be confident and fit, or do you want them to be fat and scared? Sort yourself out accordingly.

Relax in the saddle, find your zen, the kid doesn't overeat and likes to swing a rake? OK, great, so give him a baseball bat instead, maybe he'll break some furniture, but he could also make the Major Leagues someday. Whatever physical thing they are doing, harness that, and focus it on sports, that's what sports are for.

You want him to eat more and cause less shit? Sports all day, work up an appetite, pass out for a nap. No different than the troops, wake em up at 0530, run em, big breakfast, run em some more, big lunch, mo runnin', big supper, run em back to barracks, then they pass out. Once the troops are passed out, then the drill instructors can go drinkin' and chase some tail, or in your case you'll just pass out too, cuz you're weak.

Sounds like you got yourself a natural born jock there, don't try to hold him down with the fat, scared and weak, let him swing that hickory for all he's worth, no fear.

I never show fear or uncertainty around him. And you're right, he does need some sports in his life. We just don't have any time to do that with him, having twin babies in the house. It's a problem because he's constantly waking them up with his racket.

Next year will be better, I just wish I could tranquilize his ass until then.

Kids BJJ

[StCapps]

Kids BJJ

Wrestling is cheaper, but yeah grappling, that'll help him get rid of some excess energy, bet that.