Okeefenokee wrote:GrumpyCatFace wrote:Okeefenokee wrote:
That's more serious than you seem to think. None of us should be alone. It's better for the kids, too. They base their relationships on the ones they grow up around. Children with parents who have shitty relationships tend to repeat the cycle.
It was painful for a while, but I've gotten used to it. My parents had a loveless marriage until I was 11 or so. It messed my brother up for a long time, but I came out ok. I just learned not to trust women, and not to base my feelings around them. I have to agree that the cycle was repeated. Hopefully I can make up for it later in life. And again, I won't be around THAT long - my exit plan is pretty concrete (for now).
and I had the same problem with the detritus of my parents' relationship having consequences on mine. I listened to enough love line in my teens to realize it. You don't want to repeat it. You don't want them to come of age and realize you were the source of their issues.
Of course.. but I don't blame my parents for anything. I had a great childhood, and I came out of it with a
realpolitik view that's served me very well in life. If anything, I spent a little too long dicking around after highschool, but I'm not sure what exactly they might have done to change that. Just a result of lack of structure during highschool, I guess. My stepmom DGAF, and that pissed me off. Mom was an enabler. Not great for my motivation, but life kicked me around until I figured it out, and I had a hell of a time.
If anything, I want to make sure that my kids don't have quite so much uncertainty about where their dad's priorities lie, and a lack of guidance. I can definitely control that, and do.