What if the forum was a D&D campaign?

[Speaker to Animals]

C-Mag the Barbarian.

[C-Mag]

C-Mag the Barbarian.

That's probably accurate. Like the Varangians that went and fought for the Byzantine Empire.

[SuburbanFarmer]

What about Monte?

A bard?

He juggles... he must be a bard.

True, I do write the best limericks and tell the best jokes but I also build seige weapons and don't shirk from conflict.

How about warrior jester?

I was going to punk gigs and chasing posh totty while you nerds were playing D+D so you'll have to catch me up on the options.

Definately join you as a follower of Gaia.

Gnomish Bard, I think. Chaotic Good.

[Speaker to Animals]

C-Mag the Barbarian.

That's probably accurate. Like the Varangians that went and fought for the Byzantine Empire.

Drizzt's main ally:

[SuburbanFarmer]

C-Mag the Barbarian.

That's probably accurate. Like the Varangians that went and fought for the Byzantine Empire.

Drizzt's main ally:

Wulfgar was a good boy.

[Speaker to Animals]

There's also Goldmoon and Riverwind. The barbarians on Krynn are more like native Americans with swords.

[Montegriffo]

What about Monte?

A bard?

He juggles... he must be a bard.

True, I do write the best limericks and tell the best jokes but I also build seige weapons and don't shirk from conflict.

How about warrior jester?

I was going to punk gigs and chasing posh totty while you nerds were playing D+D so you'll have to catch me up on the options.

Definately join you as a follower of Gaia.

Gnomish Bard, I think. Chaotic Good.

Right, I've done a bit of Wiki research and Gnomes are too tolerant of magic for me so I'm going with Human, jack of all trades master of none suits me better.
Human bard, chaotic good (whatever that means)

[heydaralon]

Oh I get it! Nice job DrYouth! Really clever. Just because Daralon plays dungeons and dragons, that means he masturbates. I don't know what goes on in your sick mind, but I don't think about sex and objectify women like that. You aren't going to pin me down dude. I will delete my account on MHF before I get within ten miles of admitting to onanistic practices. I do not masturbate. Some of the fantasy images for D&D are quite erotic, but that does not mean that masturbation will ensue. Great art can display nude forms without sexual release. Did you jack off at the sistine chapel? What about the Louvre? I thought not. I do not masturbate.

You fucking assholes have had a problem with me since I joined this board. You want me to admit to masturbating frequently and visiting pornhub or realitykings or bangbros, despite the fact that I have never visited those sites, or even know what they are. I'm guessing they are porn sites, but I don't know because I wouldn't be involved in something like that. I don't spend my time looking at internet pornography, because I am busy and I have other things I have to do. That's what being an adult means. I do not masturbate.

Nothing would please you guys more than me admitting that I did, because it would make your own aberrant behavior feel normal and acceptable, when in reality it is diametrically oppsed to anything positive and healthy. Everytime you watch an episode of backroomcastingcouch or bang bus, you are not only objectifying someone's daughter, mother, wife, or girlfriend, but you are creating unrealistic sexual scenarios in your mind that will never be fulfilled in your real life bedroom endeavors. I for one, am not a mindless animal that spends its days pleasuring itself and chasing sexual windmills like a masturbatory Don Quixote. That is because, I do not masturbate.

Nice try guys. You aren't going to get a digital record of me admitting that I crank my pecker like it owes me money. I will not fall for that trap, and I am a bit perplexed why you think that I'm the sort of poster who does that in the first place. You tried and you failed. I barely even think about masturbating and I don't even know what eskimotube or tube8 is, though I doubt its a site with brownie recipes. You guys want to turn this into Martin Hash Masturbatorium instead of Martin Hash Forum. If you want to discuss politics or history, we can. But I'm not your shoulder to cry on if you have been masturbating too much, nor am I your source of amusement for masturbation admission humor. You fucking idiots think I was born yesterday. I can smell jackoff bear bait from 1000 yards out. I have nothing more to say to any of you. I do not masturbate.

[Penner]

True, I do write the best limericks and tell the best jokes but I also build seige weapons and don't shirk from conflict.

How about warrior jester?

I was going to punk gigs and chasing posh totty while you nerds were playing D+D so you'll have to catch me up on the options.

Definately join you as a follower of Gaia.

Gnomish Bard, I think. Chaotic Good.

Right, I've done a bit of Wiki research and Gnomes are too tolerant of magic for me so I'm going with Human, jack of all trades master of none suits me better.
Human bard, chaotic good (whatever that means)

In my opinion, you should've went with the human rogue. Good at sneaking around, decent charisma, decent IQ, can wield just about any weapons, and can pick locks.

[heydaralon]

Gnomish Bard, I think. Chaotic Good.

Right, I've done a bit of Wiki research and Gnomes are too tolerant of magic for me so I'm going with Human, jack of all trades master of none suits me better.
Human bard, chaotic good (whatever that means)

In my opinion, you should've went with the human rogue. Good at sneaking around, decent charisma, decent IQ, can wield just about any weapons, and can pick locks.

Way to dodge the subject Penner. Why not just put it out in the open? I don't masturbate, and that's more than I can say about you. Stop talking about it. I play dungeons and dragons, but that doesn't mean my mind has gross thoughts. If you have a problem with me in the future, just say so.