Peace

[Smitty-48]

I'm assuming this woman is of a similar age to Speaker, so there's no time to waste.

If this is love, then I'm guessing she wants to have babies. Almost all of them do.

If you're gonna make babies at our age, that needs to happen rather soon.

My father had babies with his second wife, and because she was older, that's probably why she got cancer.

If this is gonna be the real deal, how much time do you really have to just screw around with maybe?

If she's over thirty, the baby making window is closing fast.

This is not high school, this is grown ups, you need to know where things stand, so you have to lay it on the line.

I'm in love with you, I would like to be married again, I want to make babies, how bout you?

[Smitty-48]

It's like my wife didn't want to make babies and neither did I

But we laid that on the line, very early on.

My wife however, is a rare bird. Again, what are the odds? Divine Matchmaker.

Most of them want to make babies tho.

My Da knew the score when he married again, there was gonna be babies being made.

When you're older, you need to make it clear where these things stand.

You can't just see where it goes, you don't have time for that anymore.

Bear in mind, my brothers are orphans; mother died young, father was already old when he married her.

It goes by fast, if you're going to go at this age, you gotta go all the way, time flies.

Love and marriage and the whole shebang, or what are you doing here? You're long past the age of girlfriends.

[DrYouth]

Getting back to the OP tho, DSL/STA says he wants a chance at true love.

That's why I don't agree with DrY, that he can just ease into it as a "relationship"

That's not how true love is. There's lots of people in "relationship" marriages without true love.

If it's true love, if the Lord is with you, you have to be all in, no holding back, you've got to take the leap of faith.

You misunderstand me Smitty.

I am not suggesting easing in or hedging bets.

I am just cautioning about leading with fear.

Fear is not at the heart of love.

This is not StA's ONLY shot at happiness. To truly love we have to also be prepared to let go when necessary. That means really taking risks which we won't do if we believe this is our ONLY chance.... we have to be prepared to take in bad news and even to let go when necessary.

Fear counsels against letting go... it thus gets in the way of love.

Love is surrender and fear is it's exact opposite.

Love fully and surrender... but don't cling.

The truth is that we all cling a little... but if you can catch yourself clinging... see if you can let go a little and really love fully.

[StCapps]

Women don't like clingy guys, who knew?

[Smitty-48]

The truth is that we all cling a little... but if you can catch yourself clinging... see if you can let go a little and really love fully.

Who are you trying to convince, me, or yourself?

I'm all in, I've been all in for twenty years, fully and completely.

My wife was there by my side when I watched my father die.

I came home and clung to her, like a bawling baby, knees buckled.

She held on tight, so we're good like that.

[Smitty-48]

There's one thing I know my wife would not forgive, and that is betrayal My wife is fiercely loyal, but she demands that in return. Tho I would die before I would ever betray her, and I think she knows.

I can be weak in the knees with my wife, I can cling to her, but this is for life, there's no going back on these vows, and there's no second chances on that, it's absolute loyalty to her unto death do us parted.

That's probably been my saving grace, that she knows I would die for her, that I love her and no other. She'd definitely say that I am a pain in the ass, but also that I would never stab her in the back.

She's cute and glrly n' all, but underneath all that, she is iron hard, she has an iron will, you don't want to cross her. It's one thing to screw up, make an honest fool of yourself, that she will forgive, but betrayal, I know there would be no coming back from that.

Thing is, I prize her loyalty so much, I never would, you don't throw away loyalty like this, ever, it's the best thing there is in life, complete confidence is priceless.

[Smitty-48]

And this again brings us back to the OP.

Now Speaker says he was just playing a character, but I assume that he was telling the truth about his first marriage.

So he was stabbed in the back, which is why I understand his rage, because I can't even imagine what I would do if my wife turned out to be against me.

That's literally inconceivable to me. The fact that Speaker had his son taken in the process, not being a parent, that is beyond my comprehension as well.

Pretty sure I would be homicidal and suicidal in the event of, so the fact that he just went on a forum and busted some chops, that's actually an extremely restrained and in fact healthy way of dealing with it.

Nobody was harmed, certainly not me, even when he was taking it to me, I never took it to heart, I knew why he was so angry, and that was fair enough.

Military brother in arms, if he needed to blow of some steam at me, it's the least I could do for him.

[SuburbanFarmer]

Agreed on all points. Once I knew the story, I just accepted the anger and let it wash over me.

I did swing back once in a while, but never to the mattresses.

[Smitty-48]

I miss him already. But I get why he needs to take a break, so I'll forgive him for ditching me.

[StCapps]

You can cling every now and then, especially in certain situations were that clinging makes sense, they like that.

But they don't like clingy, as in, constantly emotionally draining and boring, and being insecure that they don't love you back because they aren't as clingy, that is death. Avoid that shit like the plague, that'll kill the passion right quick, captain obvious knows.