Quiet Desperation

[Martin Hash]

Disraeli’s famous quote, “men lead lives of quiet desperation,” is less well known today even though it is more applicable than ever. Boys learn to suppress their ambitions when they are traversing puberty; during the failures, during the bullying, during the defeats, during the rejection by women. Girls, though they have their own rights of passage, don’t compete in the male dominance hierarchy, so are not taught to despair until well into adulthood. When they are ultimately made aware that they are not Disney princesses, they have not built up an emotional callus, resulting in regret, anxiety & depression. In frustration, they lash out at society, particularly scapegoating men who seem aloof & sanguine, not understanding that men are quietly subdued because they are already intimately acquainted with desperation.

[SuburbanFarmer]

Well said.

[heydaralon]

Disraeli’s famous quote, “men lead lives of quiet desperation,” is less well known today even though it is more applicable than ever. Boys learn to suppress their ambitions when they are traversing puberty; during the failures, during the bullying, during the defeats, during the rejection by women. Girls, though they have their own rights of passage, don’t compete in the male dominance hierarchy, so are not taught to despair until well into adulthood. When they are ultimately made aware that they are not Disney princesses, they have not built up an emotional callus, resulting in regret, anxiety & depression. In frustration, they lash out at society, particularly scapegoating men who seem aloof & sanguine, not understanding that men are quietly subdued because they are already intimately acquainted with desperation.

You have a good way of describing phenomena we all experience but cannot articulate in words. I did not buy your book of aphorisms, but I have looked through a sample of it on amazon and got quite a bit of chuckles out of them. It is interesting how this "communication gap" between men and women is largely a result of life experience. In many ways, men encounter the wall of reality far before women do. At least this is true in the West.

[Ex-California]

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.

[heydaralon]

Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I'd something more to say.

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

[Martin Hash]

Then one day you find,
10 years are gone behind you,
No one told you when to run,
You missed the starting gun.

[Martin Hash]

Gwynne & I are going out to hear Michael Alexander tonight, lead singer and guitarist for a Pink Floyd tribute band.

[heydaralon]

Gwynne & I are going out to hear Michael Alexander tonight, lead singer and guitarist for a Pink Floyd tribute band.

That is badass.

[Martin Hash]

Michael Alexander is badass; I’m just a groupie

[Martin Hash]

The guy was a fuckin' monster last night:

Michael Alexander.jpg

p.s. That's his mom on keyboards but he doesn't tell anybody.