Made a mistake - got drunk

[SuburbanFarmer]

Threads pointless unless suburban tells us what he said. Spill it.

He went off on some soft as warm baby shit self pitying Millennial rant, then started blubbering like Zoolander.

And the neighborhood boomers leaned forward in their La-ZBoys to tell me I’m a bitch and get tougher.

[Smitty-48]

And the neighborhood boomers leaned forward in their La-ZBoys to tell me I’m a bitch and get tougher.

Except I'm not a Boomer. My mother is a Boomer. I'm Generation X. Latchkey Kid.

[SuburbanFarmer]

And the neighborhood boomers leaned forward in their La-ZBoys to tell me I’m a bitch and get tougher.

Except I'm not a Boomer. My mother is a Boomer. I'm Generation X. Latchkey Kid.

Whatever you need to tell yourself grandpa.

[Smitty-48]

And the neighborhood boomers leaned forward in their La-ZBoys to tell me I’m a bitch and get tougher.

Except I'm not a Boomer. My mother is a Boomer. I'm Generation X. Latchkey Kid.

Whatever you need to tell yourself grandpa.

I'm not a senior, I'm in my early fifties, my Boomer mother is almost 80 now.

[Smitty-48]

I have nothing against the Boomers,

Only baby shit Millennials see them as a monolith which was running everything to screw the MIllennials.

I liked the Boomers, they were my parents and their friends.

They were intellectual, cool, and they really liked to party.

I wasn't them tho. We were just kids. We were the Gen X Latchkey Kids with free rein.

The whole thing with the Boomers and us Gen Xers, was that they didn't "get" us.

Because we didn't give a shit about their shit, they gave us free rein, so we did our own thing.

That's why the Boomers named us Gen X. It's a pejorative, it was a critique of us, their kids.

The X factor, not getting with the program.

Being Generation X doing our own thing, we came to take it as a badge of honor.

[Montegriffo]

[Smitty-48]

We were raised with the Beatles, but that was like kid stuff to us, Yellow Submarine cartoon for kids,

Our Beatles was more like ; The Police.

We weren't like the Boomers growing up, we had free rein, nobody was supervising us, we could get laid.

[Smitty-48]

We grew up in the Late Cold War. Military planners actually called Cold War II back then.

The Americans were deploying Star Wars. The Soviets deployed Dead Hand.

We were growing up in the shadow of this Sword of Damocles.

We went to sleep at night wondering if the Birds were in the air at that moment and we just didn't know.

There was No Future. There was going to be a Global Thermonuclear War at some point soon.

We were never going to get the chance to grow old.

[Smitty-48]

We had to get laid. We had to have a girlfriend we could love. We had to live in the now.

If we didn't live our adult lives right there and then as teenagers, we would never live them,

Because we would be dead. Brink of World War Three.

So we partied like it was 1999

[Smitty-48]

It''s like we were having sex with Boomers.

I had a massive crush on my geography teacher. She was in her late thirties, but she was so hot and cute.

I did everything I could to get her to fuck me. I was bold about it, I asked for the deal.

I told her I wanted to fuck her. She didn't freak out about it.

One night we did this big drama show, I did a one man play ; Billy Bishop goes to War. It was a big hit.

Afterwords everybody was meeting and greeting, but I was upstairs trying to put the moves on teacher.

She declined to go all the way, so I asked for the blowjob. She declined that too.

So I just went for it and leaned in, started making out with her. She got hot and bothered, so I got the handjob.

Remains the best handjob I ever got, to this day.