The, "All Things English" thread

[Smitty-48]

The only people recording history at this time, were Romans, everything we know about it is through that lens.

[Smitty-48]

Whatever the people were in the Highlands, they are not telling who they were, some swarthy Eyetalian is giving you his interpretation.

[Smitty-48]

Imagine a world ruled entirely by little, swarthy, hairy Eyetalians

It was their world, you are just reading their reports about it.

[Smitty-48]

There's no such thing as Celtic history, because the Celts were not recording their history with any accuracy by our standards.

Only the Romans recorded history by our standards. Because the Romans invented that.

In fact, the Romans invented everything, Europa is just a euphemism for Rome.

[StCapps]

Imagine a world ruled entirely by little, swarthy, hairy Eyetalians

It was their world, you are just reading their reports about it.

[Smitty-48]

Little, swarthy, hairy, Eyetalians, invented the world as we know it.

[Smitty-48]

And I mean little, the average height of a Roman Legionnaire was 5'2"

[Smitty-48]

Swarthy, hairy, Eyetalian Hobbits, conquered the world.

[Smitty-48]

But then something went wrong.

Nominally sacked by Barbarians, but we don't know how accurate that is.

Seems more like a legend, could have been smallpox for all we know.

Anyways, something made the Swarthy Hobbits go to Anatolia, leaving Europe behind.

At which point, the Germans took over.

[Smitty-48]

Then you basically have the last surviving office of the Western Empire, the Pontifex Maximus, crowning various Germans to be the new Imperator. And then those Germans fighting it out, because there can be only one.

The English are the Germans. The French are the Germans. The Germans are the Germans.