Perfect Marriage

[C-Mag]

Every perfect marriage needs a canon too, don't forget that.

A perfect marriage probably has indicators that are visible from the outside. The common recognition of the ridiculousness of a canon, and the shared humor it brings, is indicative of something good.

That's why I mentioned it. I'm pretty sure your wife would not have gotten a canon if you were not in the picture, but she's embraced it, because you love it and she loves you so it gets to be a fixture.

[Speaker to Animals]

What a marriage really needs is a cannon.

[Ph64]

Every perfect marriage needs a canon too, don't forget that.

A perfect marriage probably has indicators that are visible from the outside. The common recognition of the ridiculousness of a canon, and the shared humor it brings, is indicative of something good.

That's why I mentioned it. I'm pretty sure your wife would not have gotten a canon if you were not in the picture, but she's embraced it, because you love it and she loves you so it gets to be a fixture.

My parents are still married, 60+ years now, they've finally toned down their travel a bit but as kids we went to Spain/Portugal, italy, Morocco, France, Belgium, Mexico a couple times, Uk... And never 5-star hotel type trips, stayed in B&B type places, a farmhouse in Scotland, rented a farmhouse in Spain in 1970 (freshwater spring 1/2mi away for water, outhouse, hang your food from the rafters or the rats got it)... Very "salt of the earth" travellers, and since then they've done Syria/Lebanon (2006?), Peru, Japan, Vietnam, various places in Africa... heck I've lost track. After they turned 80 they've mostly stuck to doing a month in Mexico around Feb. (My dad had chest pains in the flight back from Australia at 79, had two stents put in, they toned it down after that).

Thanksgiving a few years back we were all together and my dad was showing us pictures of some celebration/parade in Mexico... And my mom comments how 1/2 the pictures are of cute costumed women in bikini tops. My dad turned red (embarrased) but we all laughed, she ribbed him in obvious good humor. I mean c'mon, at 86 he's probably not picking up a busty 20y/o costumed maiden.

They're still like best friends. Probably 1/2 their friends that I knew growing up are long since divorced, easily 1/2 their kids that I knew growing up are divorced (a couple multiple times for some).

My mom works at a thrift shop a couple days a week the past decade or so, my dad volunteers teaching how to use computers to older people at a local library. Just talked to them last nigh, my mom was saying she had to coax my dad into hiring someone to fix some flashing on their roof - he wanted to do it himself, she was convincing him that climbing 2 stories up at 86 wasn't a good idea. (not like they can't afford it, he just likes doing things himself)

(From your travels and stories, Martin, your marriage reminds me of my parents. I can easily imagine you where they are in your 80s)

[Ph64]

In contrast, fyi, is my mom's friend "Sally" - at 48 or so her mom was dying so she went down to FL for a month to care for her, leaving hubby "Bill" at home. While she was down there she met a young 28y/o doctor and had a "fling" with him - came home and suddenly Bill wasn't good enough... I mean so he worked supporting her, mowed the lawn, took care of the house, but on Sunday would relax watching football with a couple beers... Nope, suddenly their life wasn't "exciting enough". She filed for divorce, took 1/2 the house, 1/2 his retirement, plus got 20yrs alimony. (Their youngest, Alan, was my roommate with another friend for a couple years).

She bought a $240k condo with the money, that over the next decade became mostly rentals and was only worth $120k by the time she sold it. Dated a string of barfly drunks from the local bars (a friend of mine remembers her from the bar scene, "everyone screwed her"). Eventually moved to AZ when the alimony was running out.

Her ex, Bill, in the meantime met a gorgeous 38y/o, very happy together (and still together). I was over there a few times (being roommates with his son) for dinner, they made a good couple.

About a decade ago I was taking to my mom and she told me Sally had called her all pissed off at her therapist, she was broke - selling furniture and looking to move someplace cheaper, and during one of her sessions while lamenting how she couldn't find a "nice decent guy" her therapist asked her "well, what is your definition of a nice decent guy?"

Her answer? "Someone like my ex husband, Bill."

Even my mom was laughing at that with me.

[Speaker to Animals]

We have to stop rewarding thot behavior and socially shun women for whorishness and adultary.

Divorced women who enslaved or financially destroyed their husbands should be considered little better than whores.

If you think about it, treating men as resources and fucking them over when it becomes convenient pretty much is being a whore.

It's really nuts how low women have fallen since the 1960s.

[Speaker to Animals]

Take this story as an example and seriously consider the ramifications on whether these you g women are even suitable for marriage at all.



Think that's the end of it? Nope!

The Office of Equity and Diversity has found junior Armaan Premjee responsible for charged policy violations after a nearly yearlong investigation into sexual assault charges from last April. A hearing will be held on Friday to determine sanctions.

In July, the Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office decided not to continue pursuing a criminal case against Premjee after a judge ruled that Premjee would not be held to answer.

“There is no indication of any withdrawal of consent,” the judge wrote in his ruling in July. “There is a very strong indication that the alleged victim in this case was the initiator of any conduct between the defendant and the alleged victim.”

USC’s Office of Equity and Diversity began its own investigation as well.

“Despite my case being dismissed [by a criminal court] … [the OED] still went ahead and found me responsible, which is quite preposterous and very disappointing,” Premjee said.

https://dailytrojan.com/2018/03/29/oed- ... iolations/


Think about the principle underlying this decision. Women are free to act like whores. If they regret it, it's "rape". Even when the criminal justice system tells them to take a hike with that bullshit, they can still destroy the man's life through institutions and employers. Worse, the decision was based on her inability to consent to sex while drunk, when both were drunk. Men are held responsible for their own decisions and also for the decisions of women around them.

Those principles apply every single day in family courts, and most young women today are more like this girl than not.

A man has to be extremely fortunate to find a relatively virtuous and trustworthy woman today. The risk with women in general is just incredible.

This more than anything truly causes me to want to burn the system to the ground.

[C-Mag]

I gotta think we've seen the far end of the pendulum swing or nearly so. I think Dr Hash brings up good points on elements of what a good or great marriage includes, even if you don't agree with the entire list. As a culture it is something we should discuss and promote. Due to trends and forces for the last 50 years marriage and how to succeed at it have not been promoted. If I was king for a day and was trying to improve our culture I think the 3 things I would try to work on would be. 1. Financial Responsibility and Wealth building 2. Marriage improvement 3. Discipline to refrain from addictions, and addition, drugs, food, porn, whatever.

[Speaker to Animals]

Watch this and consider what it bodes for marriage.

[Ph64]

I gotta think we've seen the far end of the pendulum swing or nearly so. I think Dr Hash brings up good points on elements of what a good or great marriage includes, even if you don't agree with the entire list. As a culture it is something we should discuss and promote. Due to trends and forces for the last 50 years marriage and how to succeed at it have not been promoted. If I was king for a day and was trying to improve our culture I think the 3 things I would try to work on would be. 1. Financial Responsibility and Wealth building 2. Marriage improvement 3. Discipline to refrain from addictions, and addition, drugs, food, porn, whatever.

A couple I worked with in '99/'00 got married, none of us thought it would last - she was a bit of an alcoholic, he enabled her, but they were fun to be around even if I'll suited as a couple in all our opinions. They married in like 2002, bought a huge (3000+sqft for two people) house for like $280k in a not so great neighborhood, divorced in 2009 and against my advice (it was already underwater) she kept the house. It seems three-year when they bought it, and he wasn't particularly handy, and once he was gone it deteriorated. He divorced her (unsurprisingly to me), but being friends with both of them I took her out the Friday after he dropped the "d-word" on her and got her good and drunk, she cried on my shoulder and crashed on my sofa and we had breakfast the next morning before she went home. (And no, zero attraction in my part, nothing was gonna happen, just a friend letting her get it out for a night).

Anyways, a few years later she's crying the blues on Sunday night about being $200 short for her mortgage payment due that week, asking if she could borrow the $200 and she'd "pay me back friday" (payday,she was biweekly, as was i). As it happened I was getting grinding on my front right brakes, bought pads but when I took the tire off that we end discovered the caliper had seized and it was metal-on-metal, so I needed a new caliper and rotor - I really needed that $200 to fix it, but I worked from home at the time so I could avoid driving (or hit the grocery once late at night - low traffic) with bad brakes, so I loaned it to her with the understanding I really needed the money back Friday to fix my brakes.

Monday night she's posting on Facebook how she got a "great deal" on two bottles of some facial creme for $80 a bottle ($160). I said "you just borrowed $200 from me saying you can't pay the mortgage, now you're spending $160 on face cream??". She told me I " wasn't a woman, you don't understand". Yeah, well, I understood it was like slap I face spending that the day after borrowing money from me. The next day she posts how the fan on her "gaming computer (WoW)" died, I sent her two links to fans on NewEgg that would work, $30 for a basic one, $80 for a fancy cooler type one... Nope, she posts back she spent $450 on a whole new motherboard (with fan) and a new video card on top of it. Now she was over $600 spent in the *two days* after she borrowed $200 from me because she was "broke".

...and, of course, Friday she has "bills to pay" and couldn't pay me back. Let's just say I seething over it all by then. Luckily it was my payday too, so at least I could afford to fix my brakes. She "couldn't understand" why I was angry - after all she knew I had a money-market account with savings (which I never touched, it was my "in case of job loss" savings, it i couldn't afford something from my paychecks - including putting a new roof on my house the year before - I just didn't buy it until I could afford it).

Took her 5 weeks to pay me back, at which point I told her to NEVER ask me to borrow anything again. Again, or course, she "couldn't understand", "I paid you back". Yes, you did, but the terms of the loan were your pay it back in 5 days, not 5 weeks. Her "credit rating" on my books went to zero.

She, it course, went on to question why "men" are like that.

By the time she just walked away from that house she was $30000 in CC debt, being foreclosed on, the city condemned the house (taxes unpaid, water and electricity shut off), and last I knew she's still dealing with courts over it. Haven't talked to her in a couple of years, she was broke, moved south and wound up having a stroke at 43 (probably from her drinking/drugging), is legally blind and on disability. And last time we talked was bitching about "the system" and how screwed over she was (totally ignoring her own part in it all).

I've never understood the mentality - nobody is responsible for my life but me. My arborist neighbor has commented on how different I am to most people - he's given me "paid in cash" breaks on taking a few trees down for me, I ask for an estimate and have cash the day he does the work, or if it's a bit more I'll run to the cash machine and get the rest by the next day. Never once cheated on a relationship, if it was that bad I'd leave it first (though I've been cheated on multiple times).

Whatever happened to being honorable/honest in life? In a sense I'd count all 3 of your points as simply that.

[Martin Hash]

Damn, dude.