Academia

[Martin Hash]

I pride myself on my resistance to advertising. The smugness & superiority I feel towards people who have to buy the latest thing; small folks with no control over their desires, swayed by the opinions of conniving advertisers; is a small vice I don't even try to overcome. But then, like all frail, grasping-for-recognition human psyches, I too almost fell prey.

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Virtually every email that actually makes it though my spam filter is flagged as potential spam. I quickly scan the row of yellow warning icons before choosing to delete them all, 100s a week. I can't remember the last time I actually looked at one of them but the emails from “Academia” had great subject lines: “People are looking at your profile,” “4 papers mention Martin Hash,” “81 people have read articles with your name in them!” Each time I read one of those pieces of vanity bait, I swam around the hook a little closer. Finally, one day I was invited to my own personal website, and it smelled so good, I had to bite – Click!

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I was in, luxuriating in the fawning applause and adulation: they had even chosen a profile picture of me. Martin Hash was somebody! I wanted everyone to know me this way, then I looked to how much it would cost to maintain this level of fame, and I had less than 10 minutes to decide before the whole thing disappeared into nothing. I have to admit, I considered it for a moment, they had found a weakness of existential desire even in me, an appeal to status is the best marketing ploy of all, but I chose just to remain a nobody.

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[Matt Campbell]

Not to worry- you will always be a nobody to me!

[heydaralon]

Not to worry- you will always be a nobody to me!

I will always remember Martin as the guy whose name is coincidentally the same one as the url as the forum we all use. Its pretty strange when you think about it, because Martin Hash is not a very common name. Aside from Martin, this website is the only other place I've seen it, and on some political flyers for some guy running for office in the state of Washington.

[Speaker to Animals]

No huge Instagram following for anybody like that. You'd think with a name as sexy as Martin Hash, this person would be as popular as Gianluca Vacchi.

[katarn]

Not to worry- you will always be a nobody to me!

Hello there.

[Hastur]

3 feature length movies? First I heard of it.

Only one Martin Hash on IMDB. Is this you?

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3924884/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1

[Hastur]

Also

Daryl Fogal, “Real Fake,” Interview with Martin Hash, Wired, June 1996

Do you have a copy?

[Martin Hash]

There was once a time I was mentioned in 5 magazines in 1 month, during my semi-famous years. WTF happened to that?

I was watching "Shameless" last night, and there was an excruciating scene where Frank was standing in a long line of unemployed 50-something White guys all trying to get the same "manager" job.

[Speaker to Animals]

I realize this sucks, but I am telling you, the way to get famous now is through fitness. That's mostly what most young people care about these days. Universities are pozzed as fuck, so it's not like academic achievement is important to them. Lots of young people are trying to check out of the entire career system as it is and get small organic farms or some other such way of life (and most of the rest dream about it every day). The only thing that most young people have in common is fitness and admiring rich people. You have the one side of that equation. You could easily capitalize on that. If you instangrammed your trip, for instance, that would have been pretty cool and it very well might have gotten you a lot of followers.

The reason that Italian guy is so famous is that he puts it all together.

That's also why Dwayne Johnson is so popular. He's out there on social media giving fitness advice and showing people how he makes crazy gains in his forties. Add to that that he is a genuinely nice guy and I am pretty sure he could smoke almost any presidential candidate out there right now.

[C-Mag]

Not to worry- you will always be a nobody to me!

Pure Gold