Perfect Marriage

[Fife]

Addenda:

1. Don't get a marriage license from the state.

2. Before you even set a wedding date, enter into a fair and equitable antenuptial / partnership agreement taking into account your marriage not being licensed by the state, and whatever you do, don't try writing it up yourself. Find a qualified lawyer and pay a reasonable price for proper advice; insist that your spouse-to-be does the same.

3. Get married in a proper church by a Christian pastor.

:goteam:

(disclaimer: Nothing in this post (other than the admonition to seek qualified independent legal advice before taking action) is legal advice in any respect. In fact, most if not all of this post would never be made publicly by a lawyer owned and operated by the state. )

[Martin Hash]

Marriage is a union before God and Family.

Good points.
"God" in this context would be the world around you.

It is primarily about helping raise children, but it can also be about helping each other be better people overall and reach your psychological and spiritual goals.

Yes, but the idea of "better people" can obviously be interpreted differently and I'm trying to objectivity.

[Martin Hash]

1. Don't get a marriage license from the state.

This is exactly what I'm arguing against. A "perfect" marriage requires full commitment. If you don't think you can achieve a perfect marriage, that a great marriage is good enough, then preparing for it's dissolution is acceptable.

[Martin Hash]

There is no such thing as perfection in human beings, but I would say the hallmark of a successful marriage is that you’re a better person as a result of having your spouse as your spouse. And there’s no listmaking in this one, Martin, it really is all about the feelz.

Feelz is the enemy of rationality. I did not include "love" in the list because love is subjective. If you feel comfortable around a person, if you are committed to a person, if you lust after a person, you are in love.

[Fife]

1. Don't get a marriage license from the state.

This is exactly what I'm arguing against. A "perfect" marriage requires full commitment. If you don't think you can achieve a perfect marriage, that a great marriage is good enough, then preparing for it's dissolution is acceptable.

Perfection is an admirable goal. If that's one's expectation, then no planning is necessary. It wasn't my intention to shit up your thread, and if I have, I apologize.

[Martin Hash]

and that home reflects positively to the outside world.

Huh? Living up to the ideals of others is what drives your marriage? That sounds a bit shallow. You maintain your lawn because of your neighbors' expectations of you?

Marriage is a societal concept; you and Jane fucking in the jungle is not a marriage. Since society has expectations on you, just like you have expectations on society or you wouldn't have joined, society is going to have input on what a perfect marriage is. If you dress like a slob, don't bathe, can't speak the language, etc., no one will consider you have a perfect marriage however happy you might be.

[Martin Hash]

1. Don't get a marriage license from the state.

This is exactly what I'm arguing against. A "perfect" marriage requires full commitment. If you don't think you can achieve a perfect marriage, that a great marriage is good enough, then preparing for it's dissolution is acceptable.

Perfection is an admirable goal. If that's one's expectation, then no planning is necessary. It wasn't my intention to shit up your thread, and if I have, I apologize.

I'm taking all comments. Trying to answer the criticisms is my strategy for developing a concept.

[MilSpecs]

There is no such thing as perfection in human beings, but I would say the hallmark of a successful marriage is that you’re a better person as a result of having your spouse as your spouse. And there’s no listmaking in this one, Martin, it really is all about the feelz.

Feelz is the enemy of rationality. I did not include "love" in the list because love is subjective. If you feel comfortable around a person, if you are committed to a person, if you lust after a person, you are in love.

Perfection is also subjective, but we differ somewhat on the nature of love. It’s when we hate our spouse the most but remain committed to his wellbeing that we are the most in love IMO.

[GloryofGreece]

We are not very rational overall. Only when we do a math problem are we really that precise and measured. Nor should we be in most instances. Emotions are part of being human and part of every single relationship. The question is, how much should romantic feeling factor into a marriage? The answer will vary based on your values.

[Martin Hash]

We are not very rational overall. Only when we do a math problem are we really that precise and measured. Nor should we be in most instances. Emotions are part of being human and part of every single relationship. The question is, how much should romantic feeling factor into a marriage? The answer will vary based on your values.

I separate a perfect marriage from the “love” component for just that reason.