Politics & Philosophy by Dr. Martin D. Hash, Esq.
There ain't gonna be a revolution, what would people revolt against? Wifi's good pretty most everywhere, and whatever's happening in Washington D.C. never seems to have any direct affect on anything back home. People revolt when they have something to gain, like freedom, not just a higher Minimum Wage. The only place you'll likely hear “revolution” talk is in the mornings at McDonald's, where there's a lot of OWGs who are "fed up," and "can't take it anymore!" They dream about buying a Zombie Apocalypse Assault Van and going after “gov'mit.” Well, after their next Social Security check comes in, anyway.
How about a civil war rather than a revolution? Definitionly speaking, a "revolution" is rebellion against the government, and a "civil war" is a separation of two sides. Still, Civil War people have good broadband too, so that's probably out, and what other issues are worth killing one another over? Abortion? Guns? The irony of both of those causing killing is profound. In fact, it's safe to say that any internal conflict that involves people hurting one another is so remote as to not even make a good television show. However, if you do think something's going to happen, there's some stocks you can buy; for example, the McDonald's revolutionaries are going to need a fair amount of Metamucil.
Categories | PRay TeLL, Dr. Hash
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