Dr. Martin Hash Podcast

The problem with unwritten rules, called values & morals, is that they can easily be exploited, either through leverage or because of lack of formal enforcement. Apologies are part of the courtesy ritual: rather than duel due to a slight of honor, both sides simply apologized: no cost in blood or treasure yet effective, but courtesy is in decline & apologies are no longer free. Forcing people to apologize is an American tradition and has far-reaching and subtle implications, often leading to claims of victimhood & a desire for compensation or other special treatment. Nowadays, if you apologize, you are essentially admitting culpability and open yourself for civil retribution & social stigma.

Because apologies are ingrained into us from childhood, most people are oblivious to their own cuckolding, and will not dodge even obvious extortionary agendas. Apologies are a method of seeking control, and if you apologize you relinquish control. Unfortunately, the solution is to no longer indoctrinate children with the practice. We need to teach kids that subtle line between where common courtesy crosses into an apology obligation because the social lubrication that apologies used to provide have become suspect, and the price of apologizing has simply become too high.