Hurricane Irma Thread AKA Floridian Devastation

[heydaralon]

I was without power for 5 days. Here are some things that I learned about Irma:

1. Power is not important, unless you are using electricity. Since I use internet and AC this became a problem.

2. Water can be used to drink, or to wash your hands. I found that many people were drinking the water, but if your hands are dirty, you can use it to wash them or even to clean dishes.

3. Hurricanes can take down trees. Since trees are important for the environment, this makes Hurricanes a bigger blight on the Earth's environment than the coal industry or overfishing.

4. Gasoline is not important unless you are driving somewhere or need a generator. I had to do both, so gasoline was important, despite the carbon footprint I left by driving to work or to the gas station to buy beer or more gasoline.

5. Hurricanes often happen near oceans, so if possible do not go into the ocean during a hurricane, unless you are in the part of the ocean that is not near where the hurricane is occurring. For instance, Irma was an Atlantic affair, so being in the Pacific ocean for Irma would not have been a big deal, provided you can swim and have a wetsuit to combat hypothermia.

6. There can be wind from Hurricanes, so it will actually enable birds and planes to fly faster. The debris from the storm may cause problems though because jet engines cannot melt steel beams or have objects go into their intake.

7. Rick Scott is the governor of Florida. I learned this by watching the news, and seeing Rick Scott (the governor) warn Floridians about the Hurricane.

8. You may be stuck in a hurricane, but if you take ambien, you will sleep through it. When you wake up, take more ambien. Keep taking ambien until you have power again. Rest is important, but ambien is more important than water, because you stay hydrated while you sleep, unless you don't drink fluids. Either way, you will not have to face the problems head on while in an ambien coma, you will just have to deal with dream hurricanes or nocturnal emissions. Neither of those are as bad as an actual hurricane, though nightmares can seem pretty real.


Send this list to people you know to help them prepare for the next hurricane. It may save their life. I know it saved mine!

[TheReal_ND]

>be Texas
>tropical storm sits over Houston for so long it owes rent
>possibly not even a 500 year storm but maybe a 2500 year storm
>enough water falls to put Noah's Ark on top of the Rockies
>power on the whole time and the internet never stopped working


>be Florida
>stiff breeze hits
>power gone for weeks
>internet down forever
>revert back to the Stone Age because "muh wind mane"


Why is Florida so shit?

[SuburbanFarmer]

[heydaralon]

>be Texas
>tropical storm sits over Houston for so long it owes rent
>possibly not even a 500 year storm but maybe a 2500 year storm
>enough water falls to put Noah's Ark on top of the Rockies
>power on the whole time and the internet never stopped working


>be Florida
>stiff breeze hits
>power gone for weeks
>internet down forever
>revert back to the Stone Age because "muh wind mane"


Why is Florida so shit?

That's a good question. Duke energy owes me a bill for lost productivity. I could have been posting insightful stuff on this forum last week but I was unable to because of the power loss. That Hurricane guide I posted could have saved thousands of lives but because of my lack on internet many people perished because they didn't see my hurricane survival tips. Duke energy is on the hook for that too. I'm not a lawsuit type of guy, but unless Duke energy does the right thing they are going to be hit with the legal battle of the century.

[Speaker to Animals]

At least $28,999.00 in lost productivity, or a new STI.

[C-Mag]

I get to pay Taxes to restore infrastructure so you fuckers can live on the beach.

[TheReal_ND]

Duke Energy

You guys are a living meme. It's no surprise the Energy City had to send linemen out to Florida to teach you how to wire up a lightbulb. I'm convinced all it would take is a handful of Texans to rule the entire South. You guys would revert back to fucking your alligators and watching your teeth fall out of your head if the Superior Texas Chad wasn't constantly bailing out the Virgin Florida Beta.

[heydaralon]

Duke Energy

You guys are a living meme. It's no surprise the Energy City had to send linemen out to Florida to teach you how to wire up a lightbulb. I'm convinced all it would take is a handful of Texans to rule the entire South. You guys would revert back to fucking your alligators and watching your teeth fall out of your head if the Superior Texas Chad wasn't constantly bailing out the Virgin Florida Beta.

Guess what dipshit Pitbull is from Miami. Name one musician that has a tenth of the talent he does.

[TheReal_ND]

Stahp

[Speaker to Animals]

Don Henley is from Texas and he wrote the best song ever to shoot yourself in the face with a shotgun to, Hotel California.