The Family Thread - Letters from Home

[heydaralon]

Actually, some internet research has led me to accounts of older Floridians eating Manatees. Apparently it is a delicacy. I'm really scratching my head about why we let this delicious beast live. They would be hella easy to hunt in this day and age. No gun needed, just drive fast with a propeller boat through a manatee zone and you could haul in 3 or 4. The calfs are probably the most tender and succulent.

[Speaker to Animals]

Manatees are dangerous as fuck. I am not joking. If you spook them, they will start trying to kill you with their tails. They also seem to like surfacing when you are under a dock. They are assholes, really.

Dolphins are dickheads too.

I got along with the gators a lot better. Gators are upfront with what their about.

[Speaker to Animals]

I mean.. it's possible I was attacked by feminists and not actual manatees, but you can never be too careful.

[heydaralon]

Manatees are dangerous as fuck. I am not joking. If you spook them, they will start trying to kill you with their tails. They also seem to like surfacing when you are under a dock. They are assholes, really.

Dolphins are dickheads too.

I got along with the gators a lot better. Gators are upfront with what their about.

I nearly petted one in blue springs (maybe we went on the Saint Johns I forget). I got really close and then the boat guide yelled at me not to get so close. The manatee seemed oblivious. Even if they start slapping you with their tail, it wouldn't be hard to swim around to the front and go in for the kill shot right? I can't imagine those things can move fast, and I doubt they have teeth. I've never seen a pissed off one. I also like alligators more. Manatees are bullshit.

[Speaker to Animals]

Manatees are dangerous as fuck. I am not joking. If you spook them, they will start trying to kill you with their tails. They also seem to like surfacing when you are under a dock. They are assholes, really.

Dolphins are dickheads too.

I got along with the gators a lot better. Gators are upfront with what their about.

I nearly petted one in blue springs (maybe we went on the Saint Johns I forget). I got really close and then the boat guide yelled at me not to get so close. The manatee seemed oblivious. Even if they start slapping you with their tail, it wouldn't be hard to swim around to the front and go in for the kill shot right? I can't imagine those things can move fast, and I doubt they have teeth. I've never seen a pissed off one. I also like alligators more. Manatees are bullshit.

Thank God you didn't get any closer. It was trying to lure you in to eat you. Fuck those creatures.

Gators are where it's at. You always know where you and the gator stand.

[heydaralon]

Manatees are dangerous as fuck. I am not joking. If you spook them, they will start trying to kill you with their tails. They also seem to like surfacing when you are under a dock. They are assholes, really.

Dolphins are dickheads too.

I got along with the gators a lot better. Gators are upfront with what their about.

I nearly petted one in blue springs (maybe we went on the Saint Johns I forget). I got really close and then the boat guide yelled at me not to get so close. The manatee seemed oblivious. Even if they start slapping you with their tail, it wouldn't be hard to swim around to the front and go in for the kill shot right? I can't imagine those things can move fast, and I doubt they have teeth. I've never seen a pissed off one. I also like alligators more. Manatees are bullshit.

Thank God you didn't get any closer. It was trying to lure you in to eat you. Fuck those creatures.

Gators are where it's at. You always know where you and the gator stand.

I like gators. I'm always pretty fucking stoked when I see them in the wild. They are like living dinosaurs.

[Speaker to Animals]

Here you can see a manatee or a feminist eating a small child:

[Speaker to Animals]

A manatee literally tries to rape this man, but is too stupid to realize that the plastic kayak acts as a kind of shield to his anus.

[heydaralon]

Manatees aren't in danger of going extinct, but our boating rights sure are! Fuck manatees.

[DrYouth]

The latest in my parenting teens series...

The boy (15) had a get together at our house with real live friends... a relief because a lot of his socializing has been on social media.
I was pretty happy about it. His friends seemed relaxed and good natured. They appeared to have a great time without alcohol or drugs.
Lots of actual dialogue... not just sitting around on their phones.
They went outside even though it was cold and snowy... another good sign in my opinion...

But.... and there's always a butt isn't there...

My son decides to relay a story about how they went out on the frozen pond and one of his friends broke through the ice and got his boot wet.

Big deal you say...

Yes but to my wife this is not a big deal...
Fortunately she restrained herself to a lecture... perhaps a shrill lecture.... but didn't go ballistic...
I have to restrain myself as well not to undermine my wife...
(it has been very cold for a few days... and I believe the kid that he saw skaters on the pond earlier that day)

She has charged me with having a talk with my son about safety.
I have to prepare myself for this role.
(Making sure I don't introduce the fact that I spent a fair of my childhood out on the ice of Lake Ontario without any supervision or know how about ice safety...)
Parenting as a united front... it should be simple shouldn't it... (sigh)