The Family Thread - Letters from Home

[Smitty-48]

Actually wasn't hard for us to party all night underage in the 6ix when I was growing up, but then the nanny state cranked the fines up exponentially and suddenly everybody started taking carding very seriously. Nowadays it's absurd, my wife is still getting carded and I would probably get carded too if I didn't have grey hair.

But is it gray on the top? If it's just the sides, go zero to fade, man.

I'm just starting to go grey, it's salt n' pepper, but I like it actually, I've always looked young for my age, so I don't sweat it, I embrace being a grey beard.

[Speaker to Animals]

Gray hair sucks when you are single unless you don't mind women your own age. There's a really big difference between what I can pull with the sides shaved clean than two weeks later before I cut it again. It's not even a lot of gray either. That shit started turning gray a little in my twenties. But man, if you are single, you really have to shave it down.

If the top was gray, I would just shave it all down.

I don't think chicks dig longer hair these days either. It kind of seems like the beta thing is so out of hand, that they are looking for any sign that you are more like a veteran or anything but a male feminist.

[Smitty-48]

I prefer people my own age, even if I was single again, I wouldn't touch a Millennial with a ten foot pole.

[Speaker to Animals]

I prefer people my own age, even if I was single again, I wouldn't touch a Millennial with a ten foot pole.

There are only a few women our age that I really feel attracted to, honestly. It would be different if I married the woman years ago, love her, and am growing with her. But fresh out of the box? Nah.

[Smitty-48]

I don't think I would have any trouble getting a date, chicks dig me, but I wouldn't go anywhere near a Gen Y, older n' bolder don't bother me, dating one of these Millennials would just be annoying, I don't have anything in common with them.

[Speaker to Animals]

I don't have relationships with them. LOL


If I were to seriously try to get into a relationship, I would look for very early thirties. Even then.. Eh.. Most of them are pretty fucking nuts these days, and the single women our age are probably single because they left a trail of destruction behind them through life. Rationally, we are better off just dealing with it and looking for more stable younger women.

[Smitty-48]

My wife is younger than me, but someone in their twenties is way too young for me, I'm old enough to be their father, that would be like dating somebodies kid, that wouldn't just be annoying, that would be creepy.

[heydaralon]

I grew up playing around the swamps and lakes. There wasn't much to do back then. Gators can be fun to fuck with, though. Helicopter parents would freak the fuck out if they saw how I grew up. Not joking either. I had natural alligator land behind the house.

Behind my father's house I instead had dolphins and manatees. Manatees can actually be dangerous if you get in the water with them.

I just realize this might explain a few things.

Manatees are dangerous? Maybe with a Tumblr account. Those things should have been extinct years ago. They are slow, bereft of any claws or defenses and quite stupid. Their meat must taste awful, otherwise, the Indians would have speared them out of existence.

[heydaralon]

So they got "freaked out", big whoop, poor wittle felwas n' all, but that's what you get for sassing the Tiger Momma.

I betcha she's nowhere near as scary as my momma, kids these days are just wusses, I was raised by the Dragon Lady, you don't fuck with Madame Nhu.

I once saw a grown assed man cross my momma; she threw his ass down a flight of stairs.

Did your mom put punji sticks around your bed so that you wouldnt wander around when you were supposed to be sleeping?

No, but when I was small, she would put a ninja move on me from time to time, I remember one time I was being a little brat, and I tried to storm by her giving her the "talk to the hand" move, and she snatched me by the wrist, chicken winged me, and frog marched me off to the cells, Hanoi Hilton drill.

Like I say, she was raised in the country, and even when she was a cheerleader with a beehive and dressed like Jackie-O, she was still a tomboy underneath, deceptively strong for such a small woman, she had a grip like a vise, she's still pretty strong, for a 74 year old.

Would you be able to beat her in a knife fight?

[Smitty-48]

Did your mom put punji sticks around your bed so that you wouldnt wander around when you were supposed to be sleeping?

No, but when I was small, she would put a ninja move on me from time to time, I remember one time I was being a little brat, and I tried to storm by her giving her the "talk to the hand" move, and she snatched me by the wrist, chicken winged me, and frog marched me off to the cells, Hanoi Hilton drill.

Like I say, she was raised in the country, and even when she was a cheerleader with a beehive and dressed like Jackie-O, she was still a tomboy underneath, deceptively strong for such a small woman, she had a grip like a vise, she's still pretty strong, for a 74 year old.

Would you be able to beat her in a knife fight?

Hell no, I wasn't a fighter back then, I was a little blonde haired hippie kid, I didn't really get into fighting until I got into my teens and started getting big and mean.