DNA Testing (23 and Me, Ancestry, etc.)

[SuburbanFarmer]

Excellent; now you got me excited.

I assume the more info you can provide yourself, the easier it is to find stuff?

Yep. It's going to look at whatever you have for the grandparents, and run a search against their database. It will link you to records with that name, date of birth, etc, and other peoples' family trees. That's when it gets really fun. You'll think you're stuck, then you link to another tree and 30 more people are added, because someone else did the research already.

My tree has around 2,000 people in it now.

Make sure you're careful. Don't just take the promptings with a grain of salt- dump a barrel. My grandfather is into this stuff, and for a year or so would've sworn we were the sons of Richard Henry Lee (signee to the Declaration of Independence), but later found out it was one private Richard Henry Lee we really came from. Look into more than just name, DOB, etc if you can.

Yeah, I learned that a little too late. My gf got really (really) into it last year though, and cleaned it all up for me. I'm still linked to a doc that shows I'm descended from original colonists, and another that says I'm descended from Otto I and Charlemange. (grains of salt, but possible)

[heydaralon]

I looked up my DNA on 23 and me and it turns out that I have a lot of dead yellow Labrador retriever DNA. After closely inspecting the results, I realized that I had accidentally requested Marley and me, and that the ambien was really affecting me more than I realized. I kept waiting for Jennifer Anniston to show her tits, but that didn't happen either, so I passed out on a park bench with a half eaten sandwich.

[Ex-California]

Yep. It's going to look at whatever you have for the grandparents, and run a search against their database. It will link you to records with that name, date of birth, etc, and other peoples' family trees. That's when it gets really fun. You'll think you're stuck, then you link to another tree and 30 more people are added, because someone else did the research already.

My tree has around 2,000 people in it now.

Make sure you're careful. Don't just take the promptings with a grain of salt- dump a barrel. My grandfather is into this stuff, and for a year or so would've sworn we were the sons of Richard Henry Lee (signee to the Declaration of Independence), but later found out it was one private Richard Henry Lee we really came from. Look into more than just name, DOB, etc if you can.

Yeah, I learned that a little too late. My gf got really (really) into it last year though, and cleaned it all up for me. I'm still linked to a doc that shows I'm descended from original colonists, and another that says I'm descended from Otto I and Charlemange. (grains of salt, but possible)

That seems shady to say that you're descended from royalty. Chances are we're all descended from slaves, peasants, yeoman and ne'er do wells

[SuburbanFarmer]

Make sure you're careful. Don't just take the promptings with a grain of salt- dump a barrel. My grandfather is into this stuff, and for a year or so would've sworn we were the sons of Richard Henry Lee (signee to the Declaration of Independence), but later found out it was one private Richard Henry Lee we really came from. Look into more than just name, DOB, etc if you can.

Yeah, I learned that a little too late. My gf got really (really) into it last year though, and cleaned it all up for me. I'm still linked to a doc that shows I'm descended from original colonists, and another that says I'm descended from Otto I and Charlemange. (grains of salt, but possible)

That seems shady to say that you're descended from royalty. Chances are we're all descended from slaves, peasants, yeoman and ne'er do wells

Almost certainly both. Once you get up to a few thousand ancestors in a generation, your grandpa was probably beating another grandpa to death over taxes.

[Speaker to Animals]

Assuming the genealogy wasn't cooked along the way, the female infidelity rate is so freaking high that whatever your official genealogy says means fuck all. You have to go by DNA.

The rates various researchers give range from 1% to 30%, depending upon the political activism they are trying to push, with the feminist types pushing for the low number, anti-feminists going for the high number, and the evolutionary psychology guys I have read ranging around 7-10%. I think the last group are probably a better guess, since they don't have any political axe to grind.

But just assuming it's 1%, there is NO WAY you can go back to the eleventh century and point to your genealogy with any confidence. It only takes one woman out of a hundred to fuck that up in the best case proffered by delusional beta male-feminist types, and 3 out of 10 if the worst case is true.

In either A Troublesome Inheritance or Before the Dawn, I read an account in England where they took all the men with a surname in a region of the UK and checked their DNA. The numbers of these men who did NOT possess the y-chromosome variants associated with that surname were pretty high. It was a real eye-opener to female nature, since this presumably went back pretty far, long before the extreme degeneracy and feminism that began in the 1960s.

Personally, I think genealogy is basically a dead art because of female infidelity injecting a degree of uncertainty into it. You really have to go by DNA, in my opinion. If Charlemagne has remains somewhere, and there is DNA to collect, then maybe compare y-chromosomes or something to confirm the genealogy.

[heydaralon]

One of my ancestors actually helped Alexander Graham Bell invent the telephone prototype using empty paint buckets and a ball of yarn. Of course, unbeknownst to Bell they took a shit in the buckets before he put his ear and mouth up to them. This led to the invention of the modern bathroom, as no one had thought of shitting into a container before. Before that, folks used to go to the bathroom outdoors.

[Fife]

I'm willing to say that everyone reading this is a direct descendant of both Jesus and Julius. And just about everyone born 2,000 years ago. And that it can be "proved" by some mail-in genetic test.

Anyone disagree?

[Fife]

One of my ancestors actually helped Alexander Graham Bell invent the telephone prototype using empty paint buckets and a ball of yarn. Of course, unbeknownst to Bell they took a shit in the buckets before he put his ear and mouth up to them. This led to the invention of the modern bathroom, as no one had thought of shitting into a container before. Before that, folks used to go to the bathroom outdoors.

Wait, what? What kind of people piss indoors?

[heydaralon]

One of my ancestors actually helped Alexander Graham Bell invent the telephone prototype using empty paint buckets and a ball of yarn. Of course, unbeknownst to Bell they took a shit in the buckets before he put his ear and mouth up to them. This led to the invention of the modern bathroom, as no one had thought of shitting into a container before. Before that, folks used to go to the bathroom outdoors.

Wait, what? What kind of people piss indoors?

I dont piss indoors if I can help it but unless Im certain it will be a one wipe wonder, I always shit inside.

[Fife]

Gross.

If you all have the inside plumbing over there, I hope you at least understand the courtesy flush.