MHF Medical breathrough!

[clubgop]

From the Hash Medical Center auditorium a press conference has been called. Dr. Hash approaches the podium wearing a full length white lab coat, actually it is more like a duster, and begins to speak.
"A few days ago a surgery was performed to remove the embedded stick from the rectum of an anonymous patient named “M.” This was a delicate and complicated procedure and because I am also an accountant and it being tax season, I observed the procedure while one of my residents Dr. Clubby performed the procedure. At this time I’d like him to talk to you all right now. "
A man approaches the podium shakes Dr. Hash’s hand. He is wearing a paper goatee that would never be allowed in an operating room and a lab coat that is more like a white leather motorcycle vest with the initials BAMF on it. I assume that means Boston Area Medical Fraternity but Dr. Clubby is not from the Boston area.
“Good afternoon everyone, can I get a hell yeah?”
From the back of the audience they scream back “Hell Yeah!”
“For about two years this son of a bitch had this thing so far up his ass it was not just affecting his emotions it was controlling them so eventually I had to take a radical course of action.”
Dr. Clubby then furrows his brow and leaves one arched as he continues, “I observed someone took a stick shined it up real good, turn that sum bitch sideways and stuck up his candy ass!”
Dr. Clubby then begins to speak in a quieter tone, “so I begin this delicate procedure”
Audience yells, “What?”
“I said I begin this delicate procedure.”
Audience yells, “What?”
“I said I went to take the stick out of his ass. But first I had to knock the son of a bitch out first. So I looked in his beady little eyes and told him to count back from 100.”
Audience yells, “What?”
“So he starts, 100.”
Audience yells, “What?”
“99!”
Audience yells, “What?”
“98”
Audience yells, “What?”
97”
“Audience yells, “What?”
“96”
Audience yells, “What?”
“Then I punched the son of a bitch cause it was taking too long!”
Audience cheers.
“I then dislodged the stick and removed it from the patient. It was a great success with one side effect. Patient wants to fuck chickens now! In order to avoid that consequence, I have come up with a preemptive procedure. I just look them in their beady eyes I challenge their reactive response and then quickly asses if the procedure is necessary if it is I kick them in the gut and placing their necks on my shoulder I drop to my behind and the force applied will dislodge the stick, removal will take place with the next bowel movement. It won’t hurt it will just ‘stun them.’ AND that’s the bottom line because Dr. Club said so!”
Dr. Hash interjects, “Are there any questions?”
Reporter begins to ask a question, Dr. Clubby interrupts “I explained what happened already it’s time to celebrate.”
Dr. Clubby put his hands up and from the back of the audience someone throws cans of lite beer. Dr. Clubby opens up the cans and pours them into his open mouth. The cans now empty are thrown away and the good doctor call for more. He opens the cans and offers them to others standing around the podium. One person in particular, was not celebrating and had a weird look about him. He was one of the patient’s family and looked as what only can be described as a forlorn feline, Dr. Clubby seeing this person calls for more beer. As the doctor catches the can and opens them he offers one to the sad kitty. He takes the can and holds it pensively, Dr. Clubby slams his can of beer against the one he just handed to the depressed cat, doctor places his hand underneath the can prodded the cat to drink. He starts and a smile comes over his face, Dr. Clubby smiles big and he begins to turn away from the kitty man, when suddenly, the smile on Dr. Clubby’s face goes away and becomes a stern look. He turns around and with that same face he stares daggers at the kitty. At first cat man doesn’t notice the change in the doctors demeanor, but eventually it becomes hard not to notice the now seriously stoic doctor starring at him, the kitty looks around and his face changes from happy to grumpy. But before the cat could realize what has happened the Doctor shoves both his middle fingers in the face of the cat man, then kicks him in the gut, and performs the preemptive maneuver. The Doctor recovers to his feet and calls for more beer. Opens the cans and pours them on the stunned body of the grumpy kitty.

[TheReal_ND]

[SuburbanFarmer]

You really do need help.

[clubgop]

You really do need help.

Editing? Formatting? Less of a wrestling motif? What is the problem? You do not know what a burden this is to have a creative mind. Did the preventative maneuver not work? Sounds like you have a stick up your ass.