What if the forum was a D&D campaign?

[Smitty-48]

Well they should get better credentials then, that just goes to show they are amateurs. Not only do they not show their credentials until after they flex on us, but their credentials aren't even adequate, bunch of noobs. It's like they are intentionally committing suicide so they can roll with another character.

Obvious pirates is obvious, upon encountering a Lawful Good Knight, the first one threatens to feed him to the sharks, the second claims to wield the absolute power of a monarch, with a battle axe; that's go time, alignment and divinity demands, none shall pass.

Their inability to know they shouldn't cross that line when dealing with you, that just proves they don't know what they are doing, chalk it up to incompetent leadership. They should be trying to make the Crown happy, not piss them off needlessly.

It's not even about me, everyone in the town enjoys the protection of a Lawful Good Knight, I can let these pirates get past me to run amok upon the townsfolk.

[DrYouth]

I guess we wait for Dr Youth to tell us what happened.

Smitty knocked C-Mag down with his Paladin's sword.
Rolled a 2 for damage. +2 for strength bonus - so 4hp altogether with that sneak attack....
All other bonuses were disallowed... His +5 sword was never granted by the DM.... that's just a regular old broadsword 1-8 damage.
All those freakish Paladin bonuses are 5th addition... not playing 5th edition here... 2nd edition game.

Carlus has 8hp - given that he rolled a 6 for his hp (level 1 warrior 1-10hp) +2 for his constitution.
So he's still in the game.

So now it looks like it's Smitty and Capps facing off against DB, Kath and C-mag
(who seems pretty pissed off cause his letter from the Marquee is all blood stained)

Roll for initiative!

[C-Mag]

Don't mess with people who have powerful friends, when you're just a bunch of hermit pirates.

That's why I got the Letter of Marque.

[StCapps]

On Capps turn he pulls out a scroll that magically signals for reinforcements, who just so happen to be nearby waiting to ambush these pirates if they tried anything, you see these pirates have been under surveillance for some time, these reinforcements will help apprehend these clear enemies of the Crown. Kobayashi Maru in t-minus 6 turns or so. It pays to have powerful friends in important positions. I then inform the idiotic pirates of their impending doom.

[DBTrek]

Backstab with poison weapons.
Not sure who these random demand-o-trons are but they ambled up to my party sans introduction and attacked a colleague.
Clearly evil.
So down they go.

[StCapps]

Backstab with poison weapons.
Not sure who these random demand-o-trons are but they ambled up to my party sans introduction and attacked a colleague.
Clearly evil.
So down they go.

You ain't even at our backs, noob. Nor do you have us flanked, or any such shit. Try again. Tough to kill a well armored Dwarven Fighter before my turn dooms you. Better hope my initiative roll was low, or you're done.

[Smitty-48]

The 2nd edition is not online, so I don't know what the rules are, clearly the DM is just making shit up as he goes, and making all the rolls, which, fine by me, but there's nothing much for me to do then, I'll be watching some IIHF world junior hockey, let me know how it turns out. /shrugs

[StCapps]

The 2nd edition is not online, so I don't know what the rules are, clearly the DM is just making shit up as he goes, and making all the rolls, which, fine by me, but there's nothing much for me to do then, I'll be watching some IIHF world junior hockey, let me know how it turns out. /shrugs

Let's go Canada, 1-0. Shame Timmins is hurt. Lets go Cale Makar.
:go-team:

[DBTrek]

Backstab with poison weapons.
Not sure who these random demand-o-trons are but they ambled up to my party sans introduction and attacked a colleague.
Clearly evil.
So down they go.

You ain't even at our backs, noob. Nor do you have us flanked, or any such shit. Try again. Tough to kill a well armored Dwarven Fighter before my turn dooms you.

Puh-lees, you’re all focused on murdering a man for not producing papers you’ve no right to request. By your own words C-Mag is the focus of your attention. That’s where you fucked up. Cuz you know once we add up that critical damage, that backstab damage, and that poison damage it’s game fucking over for you, noobkins.

Shoulda thought of that before you strolled into the jaws of death and kicked the tonsils.

Killing the Paladin first tho.
This dwarf is small time.
Plus dwarves have good poisson saves.

[Smitty-48]

Lets go Cale Makar.

Looks real good, skating is tier one elite.