A couple things. Listened to just a few of your podcasts and videos, but I think my first impressions might help.Martin Hash wrote:Goal: top million. (What's that going to take?)
First of all, your podcast and youtube is basically an old guy rambling about current events in his office. People don't find this stuff very interesting. They're too short and shallow to be informative, and too boring, unfunny and uncharismatic to be entertaining. Put some more production value into it, fix the camera so it's angled correctly. Fix the light, so it looks more professional. Learn how to edit videos, and get better at editing your videos, simply looking at some geezer's face is boring, mix it up with relevant videos and pictures about the subject you're talking about. Remove the background music in the podcast. Talk in a way that people find more comfortable to listen to. Don't flash your success so blatantly, and don't start off by telling how educated, rich and successful you are, but keep all these qualities visible in a non-obvious way. Look at other successful youtube personalities, and see what they do, and how they've improved over the years. Fixing these issues is a must before moving on.
Second, you need to find the approach which garners most views quickly.
1: Informative/interesting. (must be combined with at least one of the following)
2: Funny. (1/2 mandatory)
3: Provocative. (1/2 mandatory)
1 can be solved by taking into account what I mentioned first. Longer videos. Can't really inform people in 5 minutes in an intelligent manner without being funny in addition. Youtube videos should really be around 15 minutes, and well edited. Podcasts 30-60 minutes, no background music, and noticeable editing only when necessary.
2 Is a problem, you're not especially funny. Get one funny guy on your team to help you improve. But this is not really your strength, so focus on the other two.
3 is your strong suit. Being successful, rich and educated can be used extremely efficiently in a provocative way. But you're not using it properly. Flashing your education and success in an obvious manner makes you look like an attention whore. Like pulling up a magnum condom and showing it to a girl you've just met. It comes off as desperate, holding onto a piece of paper as a currency of professional authority. It's a crutch, and people see right through it. It makes you look weak, and people aren't provoked by weakness. Keep that magnum condom in your pocket and let people notice the bulge instead. All this combined with sounding (and looking) like a bitter and angry old man really destroys the provocative aspect.
You need to target a group, and become their object of hate, driving them to your channel, and then that group's opponents will also flock to the channel. And everyone in between will later come. And you have to be so provocative the group can't simply ignore you. For that, you need to go further than mere words into a camera.
So, here's my plan for making Martin Hash famous in a matter of weeks:
Fix everything mentioned about the youtube channel and podcast before proceeding.
Buy yourself a couple of gopros, or small high quality action camera, learn how to use it. Get someone on your team to operate a camera properly too, whether they be family or friends. Then organize an arctic hunting safari. Start off with some light seal hunting. Document everything, the shot, the skinning, everything, do everything nice and clean, like any decent hunter would. This should all be pretty easy to organize, Canada is right there north of you. It will not get a lot of attention, but it will get your channel on the radar of some very few animal rights activists all over the world, and make the next step escalate quickly enough to make you go viral before fizzling out.
Part two is getting in on the grind on the Faeroese Islands. And you have to take part. Maybe a few Hemingway-esque monologues, some Theodore Roosvelt quotes, and a lot of bravado about the superiority of man. Turn into the Manifest Destiny of man vs beasts. Hell, get the Europeans on board by referring to anything not America as beasts too, that'll get the wheels turning real quick. Throw in a little Moby Dick too, the Great American novel.
A few practical issues before taking part on the Grind. You have to take a whale killing course in the Faeroese Islands before being allowed to use the big knife. This can easily be solved. Get hold of some Faeroese guy, or get hold of someone that can get hold of one, he'll help you with getting through the paper work, and getting the training and the permit. The Faeroese are friendly people after all.
Go full gonzo in making the video. You're not making a documentary about the Grind, you're partaking in it, as the sole American, the sole non-Faeroese, and you absolutely love it. You're Hemingway, and Torshavn is your Pamplona. Show everything the local authorities are letting you show, and be extremely supportive of them, that way they'll make everything easier for you. Make it a multiple part video, showing both the preparation, the kill, the slaughter, and the eating, all in first person view with your action cameras. (Make sure they're water tight, or in water tight containers). Get bloody, be happy, pose for the trophy shot, shake hands, hug and smile with the natives. Then get back home, edit the videos and put them on youtube. Make a couple ones editing out the 18+ stuff on the same channel, making the moderated spread more easily, while also dragging viewers into the real stuff.
Engage the influx of enraged people. Remember, be happy, never angry. Combine arrogance with power, and do it with a smile on your face. People hated Walter Palmer, not so much because he killed a lion, but because he was a rich and successful American that killed a lion. He went in hiding, he couldn't handle the hate, but you won't do that, you' stand tall, and take it, all with a big shit eating grin on your face. People still hate Martin Shkreli because he's rich and successful and didn't show remorse for something people generally forget in less than a week. After a short period of time, both these guys got their supporters too. You'll get the combined attention benefits of both these guys by partaking in the grind, and proudly documenting it.
Of course, there will probably be a storm of death threats coming in, and you may regret the decision to improve your fame. But the supporters will come. Half the country may hate you, but in these times, the remaining half hates the other half, and they will in turn love you.
You're Captain Ahab, fame is your great white whale and this plan is your Pequod.
Call me Ishmael, and go get that whale.
