NEED HELP

[Montegriffo]

I THINK HE SAID HE IDENTIFIES AS A TURTLE ITS OK WITH ME THOUGH I THINK ITS IMPORTANT TO EXPRESS YOURSELF DEMOCRATS ARE THE REAL RACIST

[TheReal_ND]

Tell him he was born a tortoise and that's what he will be until the day he dies from heat exhaustion in the back of the van (likely will be today).

NO ITS OK I GAVE HIM TO SOME NATURALY CONSERVATIVE CHILDREN THAT WERE LOST IN MY BACKYEARD I THINK HE IS CHILLING IN A HAMMOCK NOW AND HAVING A PIÑATA OR SOMETHING

[Fife]

A casket-pinata?

[TheReal_ND]

I HAGE HIW I SOUND ON MY VOICEMAIL CAN SOMEONE RED PILL ME ON THE PROPER ANGLE TO TAKE MY FACE PALL PROFILE PIC?

[Speaker to Animals]

Just duck face it.

[TheReal_ND]

OH GAWD ARE THERE ANY LAWYERS OUT THERE I SEE THE FLASHING LIGHTS THROUGH MUH DRIVER SIDE MIRROR HE LOOKS LIKE A NICE ASIAN MAN I WASNT DOING ANYTHING I WAS JUST PARKED UNDER A TREE NEAR A OTHER TRUCKS WHAT SHOULD I TELL HIM OH HES GONE NOW OH IM LITERALLY SHAKING I NEED A TACO

[Montegriffo]

OH GAWD ARE THERE ANY LAWYERS OUT THERE I SEE THE FLASHING LIGHTS THROUGH MUH DRIVER SIDE MIRROR HE LOOKS LIKE A NICE ASIAN MAN I WASNT DOING ANYTHING I WAS JUST PARKED UNDER A TREE NEAR A OTHER TRUCKS WHAT SHOULD I TELL HIM OH HES GONE NOW OH IM LITERALLY SHAKING I NEED A TACO

That's nothing. I'm parked in a field surrounded by camping Buddhists. What do I do?

[TheReal_ND]

DO THEY HAVE ANY TACOS BECAUSE TACOS ARE VERY GOD GOD I LOVE BEING DICKED OVER FOR PARKING ON PUBLIC thruway BECAUSE IT MEANS I HET THE SEEET SWEER TACOS

[Montegriffo]

Nah, only falafel and houmus because of the Islamic take over. Fish and chips are illegal now.

[TheReal_ND]

HOW DO I GET A HOOD NIGHT SLEEP I KEEP HEARING ABOUT MY PILLOW AND IT SOUNDS GREAT DO YOU THINK IT WOULD HELP ME SLEEP ITS VERY WARM THANKS OBAMA