What if the forum was a D&D campaign?

[K@th]

I didn’t get any equipment.
Gonna be a short adventure for me.

You need a loot crate.

[Xenophon]

Nice. Rolls a 3. Down she goes.

x.x

Sorry, mate, but all they left me with was this stick, and you know what they say; when all you have is a stick, everything looks like... a stick bashy thing.

If my adrep had gone through as requested, this never would have had to happen.

Am I dead now? Can I haunt the marketplace?

[DrYouth]

Oh I get it! Nice job DrYouth! Really clever. Just because Daralon plays dungeons and dragons, that means he masturbates

heydaralon: gnome berserker, CN, furry mitts of pounding + 2 dexterity, +1 strength, -3 charisma

[DrYouth]

Am I dead now? Can I haunt the marketplace?

We'll pop you in the ice chest...

I'll study up on resurrection.

Might take a few campaigns to accomplish this tho....

Hopefully you don't decompose too badly in the meantime.

Although we can always pawn you out to the Lich down the way for his undead army...

We stop at nothing to take down the Gaian menace after all.

[heydaralon]

Are you a gnome folk?

Probably not, because I thought this thread was about Stratego. If that game was life, I would be a miner (piece on the board that is ranked 5). Miners are quite similar to the Dwarves like Gimli in Lord of the Rings. Dwarves are short in stature (like me, I am 5'5'') and thus they resemble gnomes. You are right, but its not due to any sort of superior reasoning. You got lucky, and I'm not going to reward that sort of guesswork. In the future, please read the Hasbro guidelines, copyright, and game instructions before posting, so that we can have a reasonable and honest discussion about Stratego related topics. It is very important that you understand why Spies in that game can only kill Generals and are not the be all end all the way lazy and ignorant people attempt to play. By the way, 5'5'' is not really anything to be ashamed about. A lot of charismatic, handsome, and muscular guys are even shorter than that, and if you take into account the global average of 5'7'', I am not really short at all. Again, many guys who are tall do not have a personality to speak of, and are complete douchebags. I wouldn't even take for granted that they are gifted Stratego players. In fact, many of these pieces of shit probably think Parker Brothers are a dinner roll company. Board games are something that affects every facet of American life, and people who do not understand this are too stupid to be allowed access to a ballot or driver's license. Try telling girls in the club about your strategy of putting the Stratego flag in your front row, behind the lake barrier. They will give me a blank confused look, and then go talk to some douchey gel'd up sunglass wearing club tool. I am getting quite tired of trying to make small talk with these club diva hoodrats, and I don't feel as though competing with these alpha pitbull wannabes for the company of women is a good use of my time. The key word in Stratego is the "Strat" part which notes strategy, and that is something I have learned, at the expense of a conventional social life and academic or career success. While my name will ring out in the Stratego community (don't bother searching for me, I will just tell you about all my achievements), I feel an empty pit in my stomach and sometimes wonder how my life would have turned out if I didn't bring the boardgame to all the hottest clubs in Gainesville and Orlando. Its tough to say, because girls don't often value acumen on a board, they are more interested in street cred. But thankfully, I once beat a guy over the head with a full Stratego box for stepping to and talking to this sweet little piece I was trying to mack on, and the fucking plastic parts went flying everywhere. A scout hit the bouncer in the eye, and he took me outside and was about to lay me out but I quickly told him my stepfather was a paralegal for Charles Binder (a renowned lawyer and legal expert) and he backed down. He let me back inside to gather my things, and as I was picking up my Stratego pieces, a beautiful woman made eye contact with me and smiled. She was an elderly woman who I had helped recently at the homeless shelter, but she knew how to pretty up at that club, I'll tell you that. There was something about her eyes. I took her home but because I had been drinking quite a bit that night I was unable to maintain an erection and she left unfucked and unsatisfied, but I called her the next day and apologized and she was quite cordial. She had plenty to be embarrassed about believe me. While I was unable to engage in traditional penetration, I fingered her quite hard and as she climaxed she defecated all over my mattress. Earlier I had massaged her perinium with a Seargent piece, which she was into. I didn't have a sheet on it either, so I had to go the mattress store the next day. I took out a line of credit to buy a Tempurpedic, which was miles better than the last one I had, and as I was in line, I talked to the cashier about good podcasts to listen to. He recommended Dan Carlin's Hardcore History. That is how I ended up finding about that forum, and when it closed down I ended up here. I sometimes tell people this story, because it is one of my favorites!

Fucking awesome! A minor detail however, a miner is an 8 or 3.

Alright you caught me. Im a fucking fraud. I dabbled in Stratego in my younger years and I wasnt that good at it. My entire life a fucking lie and when I said I was five five I was round up my height. I am pretty good at parcheesi though.

[BjornP]

Ok...

Here it is so far.

DrY: Mage/cleric, half elf, Neutral Good, Gaian, Mace of confusion
GCF: Mage/Rogue, wood elf, CG, atheist
Kath: Warrior, CG, Mercury. Whip, leather
Smitty: Ranger, +5 stick, Dragon shape shifter, LN, War god
STA: Ranger, Drow, LG
C-Mag: Warrior, LG Battle Axe, Chain mail, Mercury
Xenophon: Ranger, LG, Mercury
DB: Rogue/Bard, CG
Capps: Warrior, Dwarf, N, Mercury
DeO: Druid, N
Bjorn: Mage, half elf, LN, Atheist
Clubgop: Paladin elf, NG, Mercury

Oy there! I'll not accuse gods that could potentially ressurect me of not existing. I just won't worship them.

I’m gonna say that was from the first one though.

If you meant first book that Drizzt was introduced in... *BZZZT!*. But if you meant first book about Drizzt, chronologically speaking, as in "Menzoberranzan" (or however that's supposed to be spelled), then *ding ding*.

I stopped reading around the part of the series where Artemis Entreri teamed up with the drow mercenary leader, but I was already rolling my eyes at Wulfgar's "reintroduction".

[SuburbanFarmer]

Ok...

Here it is so far.

DrY: Mage/cleric, half elf, Neutral Good, Gaian, Mace of confusion
GCF: Mage/Rogue, wood elf, CG, atheist
Kath: Warrior, CG, Mercury. Whip, leather
Smitty: Ranger, +5 stick, Dragon shape shifter, LN, War god
STA: Ranger, Drow, LG
C-Mag: Warrior, LG Battle Axe, Chain mail, Mercury
Xenophon: Ranger, LG, Mercury
DB: Rogue/Bard, CG
Capps: Warrior, Dwarf, N, Mercury
DeO: Druid, N
Bjorn: Mage, half elf, LN, Atheist
Clubgop: Paladin elf, NG, Mercury

Oy there! I'll not accuse gods that could potentially ressurect me of not existing. I just won't worship them.

I’m gonna say that was from the first one though.

If you meant first book that Drizzt was introduced in... *BZZZT!*. But if you meant first book about Drizzt, chronologically speaking, as in "Menzoberranzan" (or however that's supposed to be spelled), then *ding ding*.

I think you're referring to his appearance in an Elminster novel or something, before he got his own series? It's been a long time.

But yeah, I was referring to "his" first book.

I stopped reading around the part of the series where Artemis Entreri teamed up with the drow mercenary leader, but I was already rolling my eyes at Wulfgar's "reintroduction".

Yeah, that was kind of a breaking point for me as well - but Entreri was a great character.

[Smitty-48]

Since Hanarchy is unarmed, I'd like to attack him for his gold pieces next. Do I have to roll again even if he is totally defenseless?

Surely you can beat unarmed peasants to death with impunity, with a +5 weapon, no?

[K@th]

When do I get to start whipping people?

[DrYouth]

First given recent events - an alignment change for Smitty's character is in order.

Chaotic Evil behaviour on display here.

His War God is a lawful divinity.... and unimpressed with this lawlessness is retracting the +5 powers from his Stick.

Kath.... this may be your chance to make a name for yourself in this group of adventurers...

Will you defend the honour of the unarmed group members on their way to market...

Or join in the banditry....

Choose your adventure and prepare to roll for initiative!