The Root: An Open Letter From Black America to White People’s Pets

[Ex-California]

My dogs names are Jamal and Laquanda.

My next dogs' names are going to be full Patrician Roman names. The smaller the dog, the more honorifics. For example, the Bichon my wife wants will be named something like Imperator Caesar Divi Filius Augustus while my next dog will be named something simpler like Marcus Antonius

[The Conservative]

This thread is peak datamining

Pfft. Good luck on that one. You could try and you’d fail miserably.

[clubgop]

Apeman used to talk about the full retardation event horizon and its seemingly always receding and unattainable nature, but I think we have left it far behind us and any substantial differentiation between one ludicrousy and the next is now impossible.

This. We are now falling toward the singularity, and being spaghetti-fied into an infinite stream of Stupidity.

Ignore the Root. Ignore about 90% of the news and we are fine. The internet is the vortex of stupid and it is self contained.

[TheReal_ND]

Ignore the Root? Why? This shit is hilarious. I honestly think the author was being purposefully funny for the most part but I think there was a deeper issue at the core of it and that's that white people have overall more intimate relationships with animals than any other race really. The author may have been trying to wrap his head around it or just point it out as something funny to him.

[Ex-California]

Ignore the Root? Why? This shit is hilarious. I honestly think the author was being purposefully funny for the most part but I think there was a deeper issue at the core of it and that's that white people have overall more intimate relationships with animals than any other race really. The author may have been trying to wrap his head around it or just point it out as something funny to him.

When I told the half-Hawaiian guy and the half-black guy I work with that my dog sleeps with me they said "you really are white"

[clubgop]

Ignore the Root? Why? This shit is hilarious. I honestly think the author was being purposefully funny for the most part but I think there was a deeper issue at the core of it and that's that white people have overall more intimate relationships with animals than any other race really. The author may have been trying to wrap his head around it or just point it out as something funny to him.

When I told the half-Hawaiian guy and the half-black guy I work with that my dog sleeps with me they said "you really are white"

That is a topic of conversation at my work as well. Whites do things with pets that others just don't.

[Fife]

Ignore the Root? Why? This shit is hilarious. I honestly think the author was being purposefully funny for the most part but I think there was a deeper issue at the core of it and that's that white people have overall more intimate relationships with animals than any other race really. The author may have been trying to wrap his head around it or just point it out as something funny to him.

When I told the half-Hawaiian guy and the half-black guy I work with that my dog sleeps with me they said "you really are white"

That is a topic of conversation at my work as well. Whites do things with pets that others just don't.

Iunno. All four of my grandparents would look at you like you were nuts if you thought allowing a dog or (gasp) a cat anywhere inside the house was a good idea. In fact all of them looked at my parents that way when I was a kid now that I think about it more.

[clubgop]

When I told the half-Hawaiian guy and the half-black guy I work with that my dog sleeps with me they said "you really are white"

That is a topic of conversation at my work as well. Whites do things with pets that others just don't.

Iunno. All four of my grandparents would look at you like you were nuts if you thought allowing a dog or (gasp) a cat anywhere inside the house was a good idea. In fact all of them looked at my parents that way when I was a kid now that I think about it more.

You might be right about that but every generation after them, that is pretty much true.

[Speaker to Animals]

It's evolved behavior, in my opinion. We sleep with dogs because all Caucasians descend from the same small group of white-skinned humans that retreated into Southern Europe from the returning glaciers in the Younger Dryass, and sleeping with dogs keeps you warm. People who live in extreme cold environments tend to depend more on their dogs, and closer bonds develop. I do not know one way or the other, but if I had to guess, I'd assume Inuit sleep with their dogs too.

I am not sure it means we love our dogs more, though I can't imagine not having my dogs on the bed as long as it is just me in there.

[K@th]

In order of age .... Nube (Noo-bay, Spanish for cloud,) Nimbus (another cloud, ) Benny (he came that way,) Gizmo (he fits the part.)

We only had two, then we got a kitty, then the kitty needed a not-geriatric friend.

Don't judge.