SARS Pt. 2 - Wuhan Boogaloo

[Montegriffo]

Is that an assault pellet gun and do you have a license for it?

[StCapps]

Is that an assault pellet gun and do you have a license for it?

[heydaralon]

Is that an assault pellet gun and do you have a license for it?

Its broken but if Speaker attacked me I could pistol whip him with it.

[heydaralon]

I'm not trying to talk bad about anyone, and you all know that I am a very agreeeable easygoing guy. It pains me to say this, but Speaker just doesn't have what it takes for a Post-Corona world. His instagram page is just him trying on stylish new outfits and doing duck face selfies. He thinks he is some kind of fashionable Brooklyn Hipster and he is always dying to try authentic ethnic food. I saw him eating at an Ethiopian food truck wearing a dashiki and $500 cinderella slippers. He doesn't understand the seriousness of what it going on, and keeps saying that he is a global citizen.


I have told him more than once to stop buying Laotian scented candles and to stop fretting about NFL mascot cultural appropriation, but he won't listen. He just won't. He doesn't understand the fact that urban areas like he lives in are dependent on rural supply chains. He has no idea what a dollar costs. It sucks, because I like the guy, but he needs to stop fooling around with his live in boyfriend and actually prepare for this CoVID outbreak. Otherwise, he might run out of food...

[Smitty-48]

Not that I can claim credit for what those lads did in our name, but if my great granddad could wade waist deep in the mud of Passchendaele as we lost 1000 of our youth a day for something that only gave us enough ground to bury the dead, then bitching about this seems trivial. It is what it is. I’ll do what I can to see it out, but it’s not something that will keep me awake at night. This is the storm and we are in it. It is what it is, not what we want it to be

I just see it as our opportunity to rise to the occasion, this is our war, I claim credit for my share of the work

It just happens to be the kind of mission where an old guy like me can still carry some water, so that's nice

It's like I have medals already, but those were never for defending hearth & home

This is as real as it gets, skin in the game, far more real than peacekeeping or any of that sort of shit

I don't feel any fear, even though I'm a prime target for the bug

But everyone around me is afraid, so I just feel like I can be their rock

Even tho my Da was a pacifist, he was no coward, he was always the rock, he just didn't want to kill another man

He always carried the water for me, took the burden off my shoulders

I'm feeling less misanthropic, now that people are actually in the breach, my heart goes out to them

Mostly womenfolk tho, if some dude sasses me in this, he'll still be staring down the barrel

Don't want to get in a melee, social distancing makes firearms more useful than ever

[heydaralon]

Not that I can claim credit for what those lads did in our name, but if my great granddad could wade waist deep in the mud of Passchendaele as we lost 1000 of our youth a day for something that only gave us enough ground to bury the dead, then bitching about this seems trivial. It is what it is. I’ll do what I can to see it out, but it’s not something that will keep me awake at night. This is the storm and we are in it. It is what it is, not what we want it to be

I just see it as our opportunity to rise to the occasion, this is our war, I claim credit for my share of the work

It just happens to be the kind of mission where an old guy like me can still carry some water, so that's nice

It's like I have medals already, but those were never for defending hearth & home

This is as real as it gets, skin in the game, far more real than peacekeeping or any of that sort of shit

I don't feel any fear, even though I'm a prime target for the bug

But everyone around me is afraid, so I just feel like I can be their rock

Even tho my Da was a pacifist, he was no coward, he was always the rock, he just didn't want to kill another man

He always carried the water for me, took the burden off my shoulders

I'm feeling less misanthropic, now that people are actually in the breach, my heart goes out to them

Mostly womenfolk tho, if some dude sasses me in this, he'll still be staring down the barrel

Don't want to get in a melee, social distancing makes firearms more useful than ever

I know that I am a hero, and its easy to tell by looking at the numbers. About 7,000 Americans died in Iwo Jima. Okinawa claimed about 12,000. Globally, Corona virus killed far more than that. If we are analyzing the threat, COVID has a bigger bodycount than many WW1 and 2 battles. That means I'm a Modern Day Seargent York for working in the grocery store.

No, I'm not getting a big head about it. I put my pants on one leg at a time the same as you. And no, I refuse to talk the media or to get a book deal. Serving the public is my reward, and I'm just an ordinary guy.

And definitely no, I do not abuse my powers or hero status. Many gorgeous instagram thots have come up to me on my shift, as have celebrity women, and actresses. They want to fuck me nonstop. Some of them are just overpowered by my stardom, which is understandable, but others want me to use my clout to get them toilet paper or lysol wipes. I have to fight them off. I say, "Ma'am, I know this is an extreme time we live in, but you are married. I will not sleep with you. Think about what that would do to your husband who is a famous celebrity. I will make sure that product is on the shelves, but I will not corrupt a good decent woman like you. Yes, you may be a supermodel, but let's start slow. How about dinner? I know it is take out only at the restaurants, but I am a fine cook. Here is my phone number."

I have to say that at least 2 dozen times per shift. I don't think I'm better than any of you. I may be an essential worker, but that doesn't mean that I don't experience fear from this. I go to work anyway, and ignore the fear. I help America out, but I don't need a cape. No comics strips about me please, I'm just a normal guy.

[Smitty-48]

Like I say, my mentor from the recce platoon charged into a hail of gunfire to keep the Taliban from taking his best friends dead body away and was hit by an RPG-7

This is ain't shit, I'm just another face in the ranks

I'm old now, I happy to be a REMF, when I see others in the shit ; poor buggers, glad it's not me

[Montegriffo]

Not that I can claim credit for what those lads did in our name, but if my great granddad could wade waist deep in the mud of Passchendaele as we lost 1000 of our youth a day for something that only gave us enough ground to bury the dead, then bitching about this seems trivial. It is what it is. I’ll do what I can to see it out, but it’s not something that will keep me awake at night. This is the storm and we are in it. It is what it is, not what we want it to be

I just see it as our opportunity to rise to the occasion, this is our war, I claim credit for my share of the work

It just happens to be the kind of mission where an old guy like me can still carry some water, so that's nice

It's like I have medals already, but those were never for defending hearth & home

This is as real as it gets, skin in the game, far more real than peacekeeping or any of that sort of shit

I don't feel any fear, even though I'm a prime target for the bug

But everyone around me is afraid, so I just feel like I can be their rock

Even tho my Da was a pacifist, he was no coward, he was always the rock, he just didn't want to kill another man

He always carried the water for me, took the burden off my shoulders

I'm feeling less misanthropic, now that people are actually in the breach, my heart goes out to them

Mostly womenfolk tho, if some dude sasses me in this, he'll still be staring down the barrel

Don't want to get in a melee, social distancing makes firearms more useful than ever

I know that I am a hero, and its easy to tell by looking at the numbers. About 7,000 Americans died in Iwo Jima. Okinawa claimed about 12,000. Globally, Corona virus killed far more than that. If we are analyzing the threat, COVID has a bigger bodycount than many WW1 and 2 battles. That means I'm a Modern Day Seargent York for working in the grocery store.

No, I'm not getting a big head about it. I put my pants on one leg at a time the same as you. And no, I refuse to talk the media or to get a book deal. Serving the public is my reward, and I'm just an ordinary guy.

And definitely no, I do not abuse my powers or hero status. Many gorgeous instagram thots have come up to me on my shift, as have celebrity women, and actresses. They want to fuck me nonstop. Some of them are just overpowered by my stardom, which is understandable, but others want me to use my clout to get them toilet paper or lysol wipes. I have to fight them off. I say, "Ma'am, I know this is an extreme time we live in, but you are married. I will not sleep with you. Think about what that would do to your husband who is a famous celebrity. I will make sure that product is on the shelves, but I will not corrupt a good decent woman like you. Yes, you may be a supermodel, but let's start slow. How about dinner? I know it is take out only at the restaurants, but I am a fine cook. Here is my phone number."

I have to say that at least 2 dozen times per shift. I don't think I'm better than any of you. I may be an essential worker, but that doesn't mean that I don't experience fear from this. I go to work anyway, and ignore the fear. I help America out, but I don't need a cape. No comics strips about me please, I'm just a normal guy.

Don't put anything in your mouth unless it has been boiled first.

[Smitty-48]

I went to the liquor store, not so much to stock up,

just to check in my older but bolder broads, see how they're doing

They all got thousand yard stares like it's Viet fucking Nam

Poor buggers, glad it's not me

[StCapps]

Speaking of older but bolder, hope the Jew York QT is hanging in there

Lemme Nique That