Breaking: US and Russia to announce Syria cease fire

[Smitty-48]

The fucking go buy a house in Clovidishu. I am sure you'll love it.

Why would I buy a house?

I'd just live in the barracks, it's the military not a homeowners association.

AFSOC in the desert, Air Commando. Gunships. Air Force medic chicks.

Sounds like a good go, take it down the road to Amarillo for a seventy two ounce steak, protein binge.

Shooting and blowing shit up fuck yeah.




I would just go full on Redneck Air Commando.

Buy an ATV and go camping under the stars.

Country & Western music, cowboy hats, shitkickers, line dancing, the whole shebang.

Gym, tan, laundry, get shredded, medic chicks will be throwing themselves at you.

[Speaker to Animals]

3. Clovis, New Mexico

Base: Cannon Air Force Base
Unlucky call sign: “Afcannonstan”
Why it's not great: Blame the fact that Clovis is more West Texas than New Mexico, that there are limited on-base amenities, or that it’s completely surrounded by cattle farms and dairies; but airmen know Clovis as a remote base town memorable for the wafting smell of cow manure and the downright biblical wave of pestilence known as ‘fly season.’
Most common escape: Lubbock and Amarillo, Texas, are the two closest cities, but we can’t bring ourselves to see how this is a good thing -- unless you enjoy taking down 72oz of free steak in an hour. But if you’re not, and are willing to drive a bit further, Sante Fe, New Mexico offers galleries, museums, badass psychedelic funhouses/art collectives, and the Sangre de Cristo Mountains -- popular for hiking, biking, and skiing.
Surprise silver lining: Isn’t it always true that in the face of misery, communities pull together? In the case of Cannon AFB, solid relationships here are built not on entertainment or flashy dining options, but on good ol’ fashioned beer, football, and common commiseration. In fact, one airman told us that he learned how to cook at Cannon since there weren’t any good restaurants. So even though the base may be a bust, it might just prompt enough personal growth to make a really excellent online dating profile.





LOL

[Smitty-48]

When I was in the military, I had a good time wherever I went.

Happy warrior, I brought the party with me

Fort Drum was pretty bleak tho, I'd take Cannon over that in a heartbeat.

[Speaker to Animals]

Fort Drum didn't even make the list of shit assignments.

Worst entry was Fort Polk:


1. Leesville, Louisiana

Base: Fort Polk
Unlucky call sign: Fort Puke
Why it's not great: The Army has some pretty terrible duty locations, but they were more unanimous than any other branch of the service on which post qualified as THE WORST. One soldier put it this way, “If God had to give the Earth an enema, he would attach the hose to Fort Polk.” Yeesh. Most blame the misery on the humidity, the bugs, or the fact that chain gangs are not at all uncommon in this swampy, far-from-everything town.
Most common escape: Lake Charles and Alexandria, both proper towns, are about an hour away. And New Orleans is a five-hour drive, so at least you can get a beignet for your troubles.
Surprise silver lining: In recent years, Fort Polk’s base amenities have undergone an impressive facelift. On-base housing is rumored to be nice and the post boasts a brand new commissary, PX, and a really good hospital. So if you’re unimpressed by Louisiana, at least you can benefit from some military-issued, updated hospitality.

[Smitty-48]

Oh I would definitely have a good time in Louisiana

I would Redneck the shit out of that, I would go full on native trailer park duck dynasty,

[Speaker to Animals]

2. Minot, North Dakota

Base: Minot Air Force Base
Unlucky call sign: “Why Not Minot?” It seems like a rhetorical question, but: “Freezin’s the reason.”
Why it's not great: Remember the ice planet in Intersteller? The one that turned Matt Damon into a bad guy? Minot is a missile base located in a desolate region of the least-populated, most-rural, least-visited state in America, so it’s pretty similar, dontchaknow. Average winter temps hover in the low teens in a place where cows outnumber people three to one.
Most common escape: Only ninety minutes away is the World’s Largest Buffalo monument, in case your version of escape is looking at a larger version of your natural surroundings.
Surprise silver lining: For a while Minot was at the center of the North Dakota oil boom, jolting the local economy into overdrive, providing loads of jobs for military dependents, and causing rent prices to soar. Now that Halliburton has closed its Minot facility, jobs aren’t as plentiful and rent prices are steadily decreasing. The perk? It’s cheaper to live in the place you never wanted to!


LOL

[Smitty-48]

Minot would be hell. That's worse than Drum. ND is colder than Canada.

[Smitty-48]

For me it really just came down to girls.

Petawawa seemed like the middle of nowhere until I got myself a cute young girlfriend

Then it was like home away from home, fucking like rabbits in her room while her moms made us lunch.

Her family was more of a family than my family, I was coming from a broken home.

It was good clean country living, with the putty and all the feexins too.

[Speaker to Animals]

Oh, you'd love Clovis, then. They say there is a beautiful woman behind every tree.

[Smitty-48]

Oh, you'd love Clovis, then. They say there is a beautiful woman behind every tree.

I'm sure they're good people, their daughters cheerleaders, just like everywhere else in America.

Go Cougars.