Europe, the not boring thread

[Martin Hash]

Morphine is something to look forward to.

[Smitty-48]

Morphine is something to look forward to.

My ol pappy used to say that, that when he was dying he was going to do a lot of heroin.

But then when he was dying, he wasn't in that much pain, it was more just getting weaker and weaker.

He wasn't in agony, he just had no energy, he was getting more feeble all the time.

Then one day after we had spent the previous night partying, he collapsed in his kitchen.

Just went to make toast, and then fell over, out like a light.

Then he woke up for maybe a couple minutes in the hospital, little bit of fear there, but then he passed out again,

And that was it, he just slipped away while he was unconscious

[Smitty-48]

When you're older, it's easier to die, because you're already weakened, broken down,

When my stepmother died at 44, that was horrible.

Because she was strong and the body fights hard, so you tear yourself apart.

But once you're up into your sixties, it's a lot less violent, you just lose mass and energy until you collapse.

[Martin Hash]

Morphine makes you don’t care because you’re feeling so good. It’s something to look forward to.

[Smitty-48]

Yeah, maybe, but it also has side effects.

I don't know If I want to be doped up, like I say, my Da didn't actually when the time came.

It's like I can feel myself dying already, the early stages of mortality are setting in.

I'm losing mass and energy already, I can feel myself aging now.

All through my forties I didn't feel much change, I still felt young and strong.

Now I can feel myself passing from being young to being old, it's happening fast.

[Martin Hash]

Two people I know have died in the past 2 days. Morphine made their passing a joy, and they could still communicate with their loved ones. Sometimes, the morphine has to be turned up so high that the patient is in their own wonderful world.

[Martin Hash]

I’m in my 60s. I’ve been the Old Guy since I was 28. My body’s still good enough for Route 66 and more. Benjamin Franklin was double-teaming a mother-daughter combo until he was 83.

[Smitty-48]

I'm used to being an infantryman, I'm used to feeling powerful, like I could tear a man apart with my bare hands.

That's slipping away now, at this point I'm prolly gonna have to use a gun.

I'm just not as big and strong and as unstoppable as I am used to being.

This is where being married to a good woman is paying off, otherwise It would be a lonely feeling.

[Smitty-48]

It's not that I am feeble yet, but what is going away is youth.

That feeling of youth, I don't feel young anymore.

It's not like end of the world panic oh my god, but you do feel the vibrant youth going away.

It's like crossing over a border, youth is on the other side behind you and you can't go back.

Like even just last year I still felt young, and this year I can feel that slipping away.

[Martin Hash]

It used to be that people always returned my calls. When I walked into a room, I was Alpha. People listened to me and took my advice. When that started to go away, I chased after it, getting more and more frustrated as I got older. It was a tough 10 years. Probably similar to what you’re going through.