Trump to shock world and announce fag genocide in monumental meeting

[Ex-California]

Family is the only institution that continues to make me happy. Church would be the obvious social group for this, if you’re so inclined.

Other than that, we are sorely lacking for social groups. Tried joining a moose lodge a few years back - it was pretty much just a shitty bar with lotto games. No semblance of a “group” at all.

Its especially bad for men. This is why many of us find solace in internet groups. The male loneliness epidemic is a real thing, I'm glad I live close to three friends that I've been friends with since college, but most of my other ones are for all intents and purposes gone. I am also lucky to get along well enough with one of my coworkers that we'll hang out outside of work but I know there's lots of people who don't have that. Even with all of that, if I didn't have my family I could see it would be pretty depressing

[Hastur]

[SuburbanFarmer]

Family is the only institution that continues to make me happy. Church would be the obvious social group for this, if you’re so inclined.

Other than that, we are sorely lacking for social groups. Tried joining a moose lodge a few years back - it was pretty much just a shitty bar with lotto games. No semblance of a “group” at all.

Sure, family is definitely one of them, I would argue.

Do you agree with my basic premise that the joining institutions is essential to happiness? (or should I say taking part in?)

No, I’d say that institutions are a substitute for social groups. We need a tribe to belong to - peers, friends, associates, whatever. We use them to compare and contrast our assumptions, gain validation, share information, and feel appreciated.

Cali is dead-on about male loneliness and using internet groups to get by. We’re all part of a love/hate community here - a weak sort of tribal affiliation. It’s only words on a screen, and avatars, but it’s something. The behavior is the same, though it’s a little more combative. We all share an interest in the topics, and I’m debating them.

[jediuser598]

Family is the only institution that continues to make me happy. Church would be the obvious social group for this, if you’re so inclined.

Other than that, we are sorely lacking for social groups. Tried joining a moose lodge a few years back - it was pretty much just a shitty bar with lotto games. No semblance of a “group” at all.

Sure, family is definitely one of them, I would argue.

Do you agree with my basic premise that the joining institutions is essential to happiness? (or should I say taking part in?)

No, I’d say that institutions are a substitute for social groups. We need a tribe to belong to - peers, friends, associates, whatever. We use them to compare and contrast our assumptions, gain validation, share information, and feel appreciated.

Cali is dead-on about male loneliness and using internet groups to get by. We’re all part of a love/hate community here - a weak sort of tribal affiliation. It’s only words on a screen, and avatars, but it’s something. The behavior is the same, though it’s a little more combative. We all share an interest in the topics, and I’m debating them.

Sure, but your tribe can be your institution. Here's the common definition of institute:

"an organization, establishment, foundation, society, or the like, devoted to the promotion of a particular cause or program, especially one of a public, educational, or charitable character:"

I would say tribe is a great way to describe what I'm trying to say, but institution would be better. We need, as social animals, a set of rules by which to exchange social currency and gain social status. That's gaining validation, feeling appreciated. Institutions/tribes provide that set of rules, that set of values.

Maybe it's, the institution is that set of rules, while the tribe are those people that follow those rules. Perhaps that'd be a better way of putting it.

[SuburbanFarmer]

Sure, family is definitely one of them, I would argue.

Do you agree with my basic premise that the joining institutions is essential to happiness? (or should I say taking part in?)

No, I’d say that institutions are a substitute for social groups. We need a tribe to belong to - peers, friends, associates, whatever. We use them to compare and contrast our assumptions, gain validation, share information, and feel appreciated.

Cali is dead-on about male loneliness and using internet groups to get by. We’re all part of a love/hate community here - a weak sort of tribal affiliation. It’s only words on a screen, and avatars, but it’s something. The behavior is the same, though it’s a little more combative. We all share an interest in the topics, and I’m debating them.

Sure, but your tribe can be your institution. Here's the common definition of institute:

"an organization, establishment, foundation, society, or the like, devoted to the promotion of a particular cause or program, especially one of a public, educational, or charitable character:"

I would say tribe is a great way to describe what I'm trying to say, but institution would be better. We need, as social animals, a set of rules by which to exchange social currency and gain social status. That's gaining validation, feeling appreciated. Institutions/tribes provide that set of rules, that set of values.

Maybe it's, the institution is that set of rules, while the tribe are those people that follow those rules. Perhaps that'd be a better way of putting it.

The difference is everything. A tribe accepts you within the social norms. An institution will only accept you within an additional set of rules.
Your behavior can never be truly relaxed within an institution, because they're not your tribe. They're associates, perhaps even a 'sub-tribe', but they are never "your people".

Nothing is a true substitute for the tribe. Only pale shadows of it.

[jediuser598]

No, I’d say that institutions are a substitute for social groups. We need a tribe to belong to - peers, friends, associates, whatever. We use them to compare and contrast our assumptions, gain validation, share information, and feel appreciated.

Cali is dead-on about male loneliness and using internet groups to get by. We’re all part of a love/hate community here - a weak sort of tribal affiliation. It’s only words on a screen, and avatars, but it’s something. The behavior is the same, though it’s a little more combative. We all share an interest in the topics, and I’m debating them.

Sure, but your tribe can be your institution. Here's the common definition of institute:

"an organization, establishment, foundation, society, or the like, devoted to the promotion of a particular cause or program, especially one of a public, educational, or charitable character:"

I would say tribe is a great way to describe what I'm trying to say, but institution would be better. We need, as social animals, a set of rules by which to exchange social currency and gain social status. That's gaining validation, feeling appreciated. Institutions/tribes provide that set of rules, that set of values.

Maybe it's, the institution is that set of rules, while the tribe are those people that follow those rules. Perhaps that'd be a better way of putting it.

The difference is everything. A tribe accepts you within the social norms. An institution will only accept you within an additional set of rules.
Your behavior can never be truly relaxed within an institution, because they're not your tribe. They're associates, perhaps even a 'sub-tribe', but they are never "your people".

Nothing is a true substitute for the tribe. Only pale shadows of it.

The military. Religion. Police. All institutions that provide you with a set of rules, that, should they be followed, will give you status and respect.

[SuburbanFarmer]

Sure, but your tribe can be your institution. Here's the common definition of institute:

"an organization, establishment, foundation, society, or the like, devoted to the promotion of a particular cause or program, especially one of a public, educational, or charitable character:"

I would say tribe is a great way to describe what I'm trying to say, but institution would be better. We need, as social animals, a set of rules by which to exchange social currency and gain social status. That's gaining validation, feeling appreciated. Institutions/tribes provide that set of rules, that set of values.

Maybe it's, the institution is that set of rules, while the tribe are those people that follow those rules. Perhaps that'd be a better way of putting it.

The difference is everything. A tribe accepts you within the social norms. An institution will only accept you within an additional set of rules.
Your behavior can never be truly relaxed within an institution, because they're not your tribe. They're associates, perhaps even a 'sub-tribe', but they are never "your people".

Nothing is a true substitute for the tribe. Only pale shadows of it.

The military. Religion. Police. All institutions that provide you with a set of rules, that, should they be followed, will give you status and respect.

Yes, but those things are hollow imitations of genuine fulfillment. Look at the number of people that reach the top of their fields as a burned out, cynical shell. Status and respect (fear) from strangers are no substitute for real human connection. That's part of the Grand Illusion at work.

[Okeefenokee]

The difference is everything. A tribe accepts you within the social norms. An institution will only accept you within an additional set of rules.
Your behavior can never be truly relaxed within an institution, because they're not your tribe. They're associates, perhaps even a 'sub-tribe', but they are never "your people".

Nothing is a true substitute for the tribe. Only pale shadows of it.

The military. Religion. Police. All institutions that provide you with a set of rules, that, should they be followed, will give you status and respect.

Yes, but those things are hollow imitations of genuine fulfillment. Look at the number of people that reach the top of their fields as a burned out, cynical shell. Status and respect (fear) from strangers are no substitute for real human connection. That's part of the Grand Illusion at work.

You don't know what you're talking about.

I wasn't a cop, but I get the sense there's a strong sense of fraternity between them. I know there's a strong bond among soldiers, and church is only second to immediate family in terms of community if you're in the right one.

[TheReal_ND]

The difference is everything. A tribe accepts you within the social norms. An institution will only accept you within an additional set of rules.
Your behavior can never be truly relaxed within an institution, because they're not your tribe. They're associates, perhaps even a 'sub-tribe', but they are never "your people".

Nothing is a true substitute for the tribe. Only pale shadows of it.

The military. Religion. Police. All institutions that provide you with a set of rules, that, should they be followed, will give you status and respect.

Yes, but those things are hollow imitations of genuine fulfillment. Look at the number of people that reach the top of their fields as a burned out, cynical shell. Status and respect (fear) from strangers are no substitute for real human connection. That's part of the Grand Illusion at work.

[SuburbanFarmer]

The military. Religion. Police. All institutions that provide you with a set of rules, that, should they be followed, will give you status and respect.

Yes, but those things are hollow imitations of genuine fulfillment. Look at the number of people that reach the top of their fields as a burned out, cynical shell. Status and respect (fear) from strangers are no substitute for real human connection. That's part of the Grand Illusion at work.

You don't know what you're talking about.

I hope, at some point, you realize that you are saying that entirely too often.

I wasn't a cop, but I get the sense there's a strong sense of fraternity between them. I know there's a strong bond among soldiers, and church is only second to immediate family in terms of community if you're in the right one.

Absolutely possible. But it wasn't simply 'being a soldier' that gave you that feeling. You bonded with your comrades into a tribe. They became a part of your family. Now tell me you felt the same about all soldiers from other units/branches of the military.

Church can be the same. Mine was, growing up. We were part of a tribe - in large part, because we were prohibited from associating with non-members, but the effect took hold regardless.