Turtles vs. people with disabilities: The straw ban

[Ph64]

So, the new lids... they use more plastic than the straws themselves.

Seems to me that someone didn’t think it through.

That's generally how liberal policies work. It's all based on "feelz", someone found a single poor turtle with a straw stuck in its nose, time to ban all straws (millions per year). We need something to replace them with, so we'll redesign the lid so it uses even more plastic than the old kid and straw did combined. More plastic probably means increased cost, but hey... What's a penny per lid to save one turtle in a million from a straw?

...well, except maybe that extra penny a lid costs a few people their jobs... But hey, unforseen consequences.
...And hey, it means more plastic waste ending up in landfills, incinerators, or the ocean... But hey, unforseen consequences...
...And maybe more plastic means more chemicals leeching into the drinks and more cancer, higher medical costs, eh, unforseen consequences.


Think of the poor turtle!

[Speaker to Animals]

Maybe the turtle liked the straw and used his nos to carry it around so he can eat without losing his straw. Now the liberals stole his straw and he cannot drink as easily. Poor little guy.

[Ph64]

Maybe the turtle liked the straw and used his nos to carry it around so he can eat without losing his straw. Now the liberals stole his straw and he cannot drink as easily. Poor little guy.

The turtle can't snort his lines of coke anymore and is jonesing for a high. Fear not though, the liberals have his back, they're going to relocate him to San Fran where he can get free needles and safe spaces to shoot up in. Sure, it'll probably kill him soon enough, but at least they got rid of those straws...

[Okeefenokee]

Maybe the turtle liked the straw and used his nos to carry it around so he can eat without losing his straw. Now the liberals stole his straw and he cannot drink as easily. Poor little guy.

The turtle can't snort his lines of coke anymore and is jonesing for a high. Fear not though, the liberals have his back, they're going to relocate him to San Fran where he can get free needles and safe spaces to shoot up in. Sure, it'll probably kill him soon enough, but at least they got rid of those straws...

Hear me out, turtle van.

[PartyOf5]

I know there's a California hate thread out here somewhere, but I didn't find it before my patience ran out. Therefore it will go here.

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/science/wh ... save-water

All the talk about how plastic is so for the environment, and here we have California geniuses creating millions of "shade balls" made out of plastic and dumping them into the water. The original idea was to save the water in the reservoir from evaporation during their bad drought a few years ago. Now the science is catching up to this plan and it may not be a net win for the planet unless they balls are used for a number of years.

Plastic straws: BAD!
96 million plastic balls that will be replaced every 10 years: Good!

[Okeefenokee]

I think the UN could bring cali up on charges for that one.

[Speaker to Animals]

What would happen if somebody in San Francisco stuck one of the heroin needles laying around on the streets into a turtle and took a photo of it to post online?

[Okeefenokee]

What would happen if somebody in San Francisco stuck one of the heroin needles laying around on the streets into a turtle and took a photo of it to post online?

Well, we know a couple of guys who could do it.

[Speaker to Animals]

It could be hilarious, but sticking a needle into a turtle in California is probably more severe a crime than infecting a human with the same HIV.

[The Conservative]

It could be hilarious, but sticking a needle into a turtle in California is probably more severe a crime than infecting a human with the same HIV.

In CA it is.