President for Life

[SuburbanFarmer]

Even if you lost everything in a divorce: next... And if you got kids out of the first marriage, that's worth a lot.

Life is a series of lucky events: you were lucky you found a woman long enough to get married at least. Maybe that one will work out, which would be fairytale-like, or maybe you have to try again for a second lucky event.

Further advice:
Retiring at 36 just means you don't have to work for anybody. There's no way you sit around all day playing dominos and golf at 36; you'll end up starting a business, which is worse than any bad marriage I assure you.

I don't mind if she takes all my "stuff". I can get new stuff.

I don't want to have to come out of retirement because she took everything AND I owe alimony. It's literal slavery. Losing stuff sucks, but it's the slavery I can't abide.

It is funny you said that. The deal with my president is that I'm taking my money and I'm gone after 5 years to some tropical locale. I describe it like that office space scene, ask yourself what you would do if you were retired, and you'll know what career you should have. My answer is nothing ha ha. I am killing myself working ridiculous hours and constantly traveling (LA, Seattle, Reno, Detroit just next week) so that I never need to work again. Work hard now so I don't later.

What my president said is similar to your advice. He said: "I believe that you believe you will retire".

He insists I won't be able to do nothing, He wants me to stick around for phase 2. I obviously beg to differ, and want to be drinking beer on a beach without a care in the world. It's what I've always wanted.

Bringing it back to marriage, I lose all my hopes and dreams in one divorce. Everything I've worked and sacrificed for isn't just gone, it's stolen, someone else benefits from all that and I'm broke. I'd rather kill myself.

Again, she's a wonderful woman, always been there for me, loves me unconditionally even though I'm a jerk, and gone all the time. I love her.

It sounds like you've got a keeper then.

Just a word about the drinking on the beach thing - being from Florida, I saw a million of those. Trust me, you don't want that as a lifestyle, burned out, fat, waiting to die in a tiki bar. It sounds more like you need a month off, to travel. Go see the world, or just drink yourself silly on a beach. But don't try to make a life of that, it's miserable.

[DrYouth]

Again, she's a wonderful woman, always been there for me, loves me unconditionally even though I'm a jerk, and gone all the time. I love her.

Hmmm...

I can see your hesitation...
Women don't tend to put up with a jerk who's gone all the time after marriage... they get resentful and/or demand more... and that will be a challenge... Are you up for that?

So, one way of thinking about it is... prepare to be present more often (which might mature you.. and be a good thing)... or don't marry.

She might be thinking marriage will change you into "not a jerk, who's available often"... but if it doesn't...
This could be big trouble.

You have a good thing now... (for you)... why ruin it with marriage?

[DBTrek]

It is funny you said that. The deal with my president is that I'm taking my money and I'm gone after 5 years to some tropical locale. I describe it like that office space scene, ask yourself what you would do if you were retired, and you'll know what career you should have. My answer is nothing ha ha. I am killing myself working ridiculous hours and constantly traveling (LA, Seattle, Reno, Detroit just next week) so that I never need to work again. Work hard now so I don't later.

What line of work are you in?
I’d like to retire in five years.

[Viktorthepirate]

Again, she's a wonderful woman, always been there for me, loves me unconditionally even though I'm a jerk, and gone all the time. I love her.

Hmmm...

I can see your hesitation...
Women don't tend to put up with a jerk who's gone all the time after marriage... they get resentful and/or demand more... and that will be a challenge... Are you up for that?

So, one way of thinking about it is... prepare to be present more often (which might mature you.. and be a good thing)... or don't marry.

She might be thinking marriage will change you into "not a jerk, who's available often"... but if it doesn't...
This could be big trouble.

You have a good thing now... (for you)... why ruin it with marriage?

I'm worried about exactly what you said. It's been 7 years and I think we had a legit fight... 4 times maybe? So she accepts me for who I am... right now. She is frequently subordinating her desires to mine. I worry she does this because she doesn't want to lose me, not because it makes her happy.

But I think she feels ill magically change after marriage.

It is a great thing, I'd keep it going forever if I could. But she is asking about marriage more and more. And it hurts her feelings when I express reservations. Not an angry hurt feelings, legitimate sadness.

This current arrangement will not carry on forever.

[Speaker to Animals]

It's going to take a lot more of them to face that sadness and realize that this current situation is untenable. Men shouldn't be enslaved because women want to feel empowered. It's outrageous.

[Viktorthepirate]

It is funny you said that. The deal with my president is that I'm taking my money and I'm gone after 5 years to some tropical locale. I describe it like that office space scene, ask yourself what you would do if you were retired, and you'll know what career you should have. My answer is nothing ha ha. I am killing myself working ridiculous hours and constantly traveling (LA, Seattle, Reno, Detroit just next week) so that I never need to work again. Work hard now so I don't later.

What line of work are you in?
I’d like to retire in five years.

It's a niche that is difficult to describe but I'd say industrial pollution control is the simplest explanation.

For my particular situation I got incredibly lucky. I knew the president of a cash rich company who wanted to expand into what I do. I'm good at import/export as well and I showed him how to import higher quality equipment at about half the price of the competition. Involved in this is establishing the sales force, setting up a multi-continent supply chain, engineering section, and project management. It's a lot of fucking work and they wouldn't know how to do it without me.

We worked out an equity deal and I'm cashing out in 5 years.

On paper, I'm not qualified to do this. I should have never been given this opportunity at my age and experience. However he saw something in me and what I was saying that my previous employers didn't because of my age. He went all in and I've been handed the opportunity of a lifetime. I grew up as a welfare kid and I thank whatever deities who will listen for this opportunity. But I am putting my entire being into this thing, it's not just "a job". It will never work if I don't make this sacrifice.

As an aside, it's made me a deaf to when people complain about work. I've been running around picking up the best talent I can find and literally offer double what they get now. I am often told they don't want to move, or something else stupid.

The only legit turn down I got for emotional reasons is the guy said his wife couldn't deal with him being on the road so much. That makes sense to me, don't lose your family for a job. Money is a means, not the end.

But most people seem to expect that they can live wherever they want and get paid what they want. You need to move with the opportunities. But maybe the fact I spent 10 years moving constantly in the Army gives me a warped view of things.

[SuburbanFarmer]

It is funny you said that. The deal with my president is that I'm taking my money and I'm gone after 5 years to some tropical locale. I describe it like that office space scene, ask yourself what you would do if you were retired, and you'll know what career you should have. My answer is nothing ha ha. I am killing myself working ridiculous hours and constantly traveling (LA, Seattle, Reno, Detroit just next week) so that I never need to work again. Work hard now so I don't later.

What line of work are you in?
I’d like to retire in five years.

It's a niche that is difficult to describe but I'd say industrial pollution control is the simplest explanation.

For my particular situation I got incredibly lucky. I knew the president of a cash rich company who wanted to expand into what I do. I'm good at import/export as well and I showed him how to import higher quality equipment at about half the price of the competition. Involved in this is establishing the sales force, setting up a multi-continent supply chain, engineering section, and project management. It's a lot of fucking work and they wouldn't know how to do it without me.

We worked out an equity deal and I'm cashing out in 5 years.

On paper, I'm not qualified to do this. I should have never been given this opportunity at my age and experience. However he saw something in me and what I was saying that my previous employers didn't because of my age. He went all in and I've been handed the opportunity of a lifetime. I grew up as a welfare kid and I thank whatever deities who will listen for this opportunity. But I am putting my entire being into this thing, it's not just "a job". It will never work if I don't make this sacrifice.

As an aside, it's made me a deaf to when people complain about work. I've been running around picking up the best talent I can find and literally offer double what they get now. I am often told they don't want to move, or something else stupid.

The only legit turn down I got for emotional reasons is the guy said his wife couldn't deal with him being on the road so much. That makes sense to me, don't lose your family for a job. Money is a means, not the end.

But most people seem to expect that they can live wherever they want and get paid what they want. You need to move with the opportunities. But maybe the fact I spent 10 years moving constantly in the Army gives me a warped view of things.

Before kids, I would have lived anywhere for an opportunity. That entire equation changes, when they have to be in school, and have stability though.

[Viktorthepirate]

What line of work are you in?
I’d like to retire in five years.

It's a niche that is difficult to describe but I'd say industrial pollution control is the simplest explanation.

For my particular situation I got incredibly lucky. I knew the president of a cash rich company who wanted to expand into what I do. I'm good at import/export as well and I showed him how to import higher quality equipment at about half the price of the competition. Involved in this is establishing the sales force, setting up a multi-continent supply chain, engineering section, and project management. It's a lot of fucking work and they wouldn't know how to do it without me.

We worked out an equity deal and I'm cashing out in 5 years.

On paper, I'm not qualified to do this. I should have never been given this opportunity at my age and experience. However he saw something in me and what I was saying that my previous employers didn't because of my age. He went all in and I've been handed the opportunity of a lifetime. I grew up as a welfare kid and I thank whatever deities who will listen for this opportunity. But I am putting my entire being into this thing, it's not just "a job". It will never work if I don't make this sacrifice.

As an aside, it's made me a deaf to when people complain about work. I've been running around picking up the best talent I can find and literally offer double what they get now. I am often told they don't want to move, or something else stupid.

The only legit turn down I got for emotional reasons is the guy said his wife couldn't deal with him being on the road so much. That makes sense to me, don't lose your family for a job. Money is a means, not the end.

But most people seem to expect that they can live wherever they want and get paid what they want. You need to move with the opportunities. But maybe the fact I spent 10 years moving constantly in the Army gives me a warped view of things.

Before kids, I would have lived anywhere for an opportunity. That entire equation changes, when they have to be in school, and have stability though.

It's perfectly fine when someone makes that choice. It's their life, they know what is best for them.

But when they complain about money after making a choice like that, I want to scream.

Don't go on about how unfair the world is for not letting you have the perfect job in the perfect place. You had a choice and you chose half the money to live where you want, cool, own that decision.
(By *you* I mean the hypothetical person)

[Viktorthepirate]

Even if you lost everything in a divorce: next... And if you got kids out of the first marriage, that's worth a lot.

Life is a series of lucky events: you were lucky you found a woman long enough to get married at least. Maybe that one will work out, which would be fairytale-like, or maybe you have to try again for a second lucky event.

Further advice:
Retiring at 36 just means you don't have to work for anybody. There's no way you sit around all day playing dominos and golf at 36; you'll end up starting a business, which is worse than any bad marriage I assure you.

I don't mind if she takes all my "stuff". I can get new stuff.

I don't want to have to come out of retirement because she took everything AND I owe alimony. It's literal slavery. Losing stuff sucks, but it's the slavery I can't abide.

It is funny you said that. The deal with my president is that I'm taking my money and I'm gone after 5 years to some tropical locale. I describe it like that office space scene, ask yourself what you would do if you were retired, and you'll know what career you should have. My answer is nothing ha ha. I am killing myself working ridiculous hours and constantly traveling (LA, Seattle, Reno, Detroit just next week) so that I never need to work again. Work hard now so I don't later.

What my president said is similar to your advice. He said: "I believe that you believe you will retire".

He insists I won't be able to do nothing, He wants me to stick around for phase 2. I obviously beg to differ, and want to be drinking beer on a beach without a care in the world. It's what I've always wanted.

Bringing it back to marriage, I lose all my hopes and dreams in one divorce. Everything I've worked and sacrificed for isn't just gone, it's stolen, someone else benefits from all that and I'm broke. I'd rather kill myself.

Again, she's a wonderful woman, always been there for me, loves me unconditionally even though I'm a jerk, and gone all the time. I love her.

It sounds like you've got a keeper then.

Just a word about the drinking on the beach thing - being from Florida, I saw a million of those. Trust me, you don't want that as a lifestyle, burned out, fat, waiting to die in a tiki bar. It sounds more like you need a month off, to travel. Go see the world, or just drink yourself silly on a beach. But don't try to make a life of that, it's miserable.

You think so? Its what everyone says. Happiest days of my life were in PH and DR. I never wanted to leave, even after a month.

A month is different than forever, but I can't help but think I'm just different than most people.

[DBTrek]

You’ve assessed the situation correctly. The number of times I’ve heard a complainer say “Wages are shit and it’s time for someone to take action. I have bills to pay, and no one around here is hiring. How am I supposed to magically pull myself up by my bootstraps ... and don’t give me any of that move to a better city bullshit!”

Aka - I want Silicon Valley wages for my work here in Kentucky, and since I can’t have that the government should do something.

My wages in Marquette, MI and St. Petersburg, FL, were terrible. In Seattle, they’re pretty good.