heydaralon wrote:Out of curiosity, what do you consider ideal masculine characteristics, and what is it about masculinity as presented in contemporary Western society that is so disheartening? Don't you think that a lot of this "commercialized masculinity and femininty" is actually biological and psychological differences between men and women? I mean, businesses cater to these genders based on market forces of what men and women want. I understand that the media projects images of the ideal man and woman, but again, this media is financially successful because this seems to be what men and women aspire to be. That is my take on the matter. Culture can be a lot of things, but isn't it fundamentally honest, regardless of what you think about it?JohnDonne wrote:What sort of gay thoughts? I guess when it happens it's more like a childish crush, feeling as though it would be nice to kiss that person and being bashful. It's usually inspired by a combination of looks and charm. Happens pretty rarely for me, but I don't mind it when it does.heydaralon wrote:
What sort of gay thoughts?
Also, while masculinity is quite commercialized, femininity is even more so. Think about it. As a man, you can roll out of bed and head to work. Women spend thousands of dollars per year and countless hours using special shampoos, makeup, and clothing that men barely notice. In fact, many women dress up not for men, who are generally clueless about such matters, but so that other women do not talk shit about them. This is perfectly fine in my book, but I would caution you into thinking that contemporary masculinity is a commercial construct, while believing that femininity is a more "authentic" or un-materialistic endeavor. Anyway, if you are looking for some good makeup or clothing tips, I can relay your questions to my sister who would be happy to answer them, as she is a beautiful and well put together woman, who holds a prestigious job and is happily married. With her help, we will find the right man for you.
As for my feminine side being commercialized? No, my feminine side is a culmination of my own personal ideals of femininity, drawn from life, as well as reading literature and history, same as my masculine side.
I guess you could say the commercialized aspects of masc/fem are valid representations, just as every culture represents those two sides, as though they are fundamental forces of the universe. But I'm interested in the essential qualities of the masculine, beyond the superficial indicators. And I think commercialism profits off of the superficial indicators without teaching men the essential traits that lie beneath.
DSL has some interesting theories about this stuff as well.
Just off the top of my head I would say Truth, Strength, Restraint and Honor are essential masculine traits, at least in my opinion. These qualities, when manifested in someone else, or in storytelling form and images, simply compel me in a way that I instinctively recognize as being masculine and something to emulate. I would also say that I see the feminine as including the Ecstatic and Nurturing natures, among others I can't think of right now.heydaralon wrote:Out of curiosity, what do you consider ideal masculine characteristics, and what is it about masculinity as presented in contemporary Western society that is so disheartening? Don't you think that a lot of this "commercialized masculinity and femininty" is actually biological and psychological differences between men and women? I mean, businesses cater to these genders based on market forces of what men and women want. I understand that the media projects images of the ideal man and woman, but again, this media is financially successful because this seems to be what men and women aspire to be. That is my take on the matter. Culture can be a lot of things, but isn't it fundamentally honest, regardless of what you think about it?JohnDonne wrote:What sort of gay thoughts? I guess when it happens it's more like a childish crush, feeling as though it would be nice to kiss that person and being bashful. It's usually inspired by a combination of looks and charm. Happens pretty rarely for me, but I don't mind it when it does.heydaralon wrote:
What sort of gay thoughts?
Also, while masculinity is quite commercialized, femininity is even more so. Think about it. As a man, you can roll out of bed and head to work. Women spend thousands of dollars per year and countless hours using special shampoos, makeup, and clothing that men barely notice. In fact, many women dress up not for men, who are generally clueless about such matters, but so that other women do not talk shit about them. This is perfectly fine in my book, but I would caution you into thinking that contemporary masculinity is a commercial construct, while believing that femininity is a more "authentic" or un-materialistic endeavor. Anyway, if you are looking for some good makeup or clothing tips, I can relay your questions to my sister who would be happy to answer them, as she is a beautiful and well put together woman, who holds a prestigious job and is happily married. With her help, we will find the right man for you.
As for my feminine side being commercialized? No, my feminine side is a culmination of my own personal ideals of femininity, drawn from life, as well as reading literature and history, same as my masculine side.
I guess you could say the commercialized aspects of masc/fem are valid representations, just as every culture represents those two sides, as though they are fundamental forces of the universe. But I'm interested in the essential qualities of the masculine, beyond the superficial indicators. And I think commercialism profits off of the superficial indicators without teaching men the essential traits that lie beneath.
DSL has some interesting theories about this stuff as well.
I definitely agree that what manifests as masculine and feminine in our culture is biologically based more than it is the invention of advertising companies. I think what culture does is heighten those biological differences in their representations according to the needs of the society. I am not saying it is something "artificial" or "dishonest" at all, nor am I really disheartened by it, but I do find the superficial images of pop culture to be inadequate examples of manhood in such a complicated world, in other words, they do not properly tell me how I should be. And I see my fellow men become confused and clueless and act dishonorably because they suffer the same problem.
I believe that our pop culture images or memes do have ideals encoded in them, at least they are part of a continuum of derived images that represent the essential traits of masculinity. But I think over time the ideals are watered down and less focused on, and the image is worshipped and emulated rather than the ideal traits they represented. So men start to think having muscles is what manhood is, even though it is only an association of the broader ideal of strength, which should permeate everything in a man, not simply his physical body.
But this is why I believe that following the ideals will lead to the desired image, and the image, if followed to its roots, will lead back to the ideals.
I haven't really written any of this down before so I hope it makes sense.