Requirements to be a Good Soldier

[Smitty-48]

And you didn't need a rice rocket or anything, I mean, they loved their rice rockets, but you could just go with 250cc's, that was enough, as long as you had a bike, you could just whistle at hotties and say "hey you wanna go for ride?" and they would just jump on board, it was unfucking belivable how easy it was to pick up, soon as you were rolling with a bike, it's no wonder every guy had to have one, if you're just walking, you ain't getting no looks, soon as you are on bike, it was like point and click. No guarantee your getting laid, but, we got laid, I mean, we were in top shape then, PT gods,

[C-Mag]

Damn, now I wish I'd have made it to Spain.

I spent a lot of time in Central America. Stuff was really cheap down there. But security was always an issue, so that kind of put a damper on the party.

At the tail end of Operation Just Because I went into Panama on a Humanitarian Mission. We were in this little village in NW Panama, far enough out from all the Noriega loyalists and it was pretty cool. I was a young NCO then. Just made Buck Sarge, so basically Toughest Man in the World from my POV.

The enlisted had KP, one of my buddies had the Panamanian kids scrubbing pots for a piece of hard candy, it was funnier than hell. He was on KP, but he turned it into him being the supervisor.

[Smitty-48]

Security in Spain was tight, they had a full on terrorism war going with ETA, that's like the Spanish IRA, and they were still a little on the Franco side of things then, so it was militarized security, the cops were walking around paramilitary, MP5's, the whole nine yards, but they never bothered us, Gringos weren't the threat, so we didn't get a second look.

[Smitty-48]

The main thing they didn't like tho, was gypsies, you gots to be on guard for the gypsy pick pockets down there, you don't carry anything in your pockets, you strap it to you under your shirt, cause the gypsy kids will swarm you and go through your pockets in a flash, but the cops would go after them if they were messing too much with the tourists, when we went to the Alhambra in Grenada, this gypsy women grabbed my arm and was wanting to read my palm or whatever, and I was like, no thanks, but she wouldn't let go.

Its not like I'm going to beat her down or anything, but she had a grip like iron, couldn't get her to let go, but then this chick cop in a mini skirt steps up, and just smashes her on the forearm with the baton, and I could feel it through the gypsies hand, and that was a hard shot, but she still didn't let go, but then the chick cop raises the baton and gives her final warning that she's gonna get it upside the head, so then the gypsy let go, with a hiss, like a snake, and curses her. It was right out of the movies.

Those Spanish chick cops were hot, little fascist uniforms, wedge cap, short skirts, bobby socks. Smokin' hot. You could even flirt with them and get away with it, but they would just smirk and give you a look like; yeah right, you wish.

[C-Mag]

In Central America, Security was always an issue. Just too damn many factions.

Guatemala in 1998, the Civil War had ended, but a couple factions still were seeking to damage the government. Guatelemalan Soldiers were basically untrained. They fired 3 rounds a year in training prior to us getting there. They didn't know shit from fat meat about security ops. We pushed em down the road a little ways.
In Honduras in 2009 shit was really sketchy. 5 different recognized militaries all holding fealty to a different lord around Comyagua. CIA was active, a month and a half after we left there was a coup.
Panama wasn't bad. The only real politics is really in Panama City. In the Early 90s it was about Noriega, when I went back in 2010 it was all about the Chinese that were economically taking over Panama.
Belize was cool, no trouble there.

[Smitty-48]

I've been to Belize, but there wasn't really anywhere to go, nothing much to see, we were just there for the jungle, which was amazing, the jungle was the thing to do and see.

My impression of Central America is that it's basically just a third world shithole, never had any desire to go there, other than for jungle warfare training.

Spain is civilized, they know how to live, it's luxurious, and the weather is much nicer, Central America I just view as one big low intensity war zone/disaster area.

In Spain the gypsies were a nuisance at most, but they were really nothing to fear, they're not gonna jack you at gunpoint for your shit, or anything like that, they're just pickpockets and scammers, but otherwise, I didn't encounter any crime in Spain, like I said, it was like a paramilitary fortress, high security everywhere.

There was only one time we ever got stopped by the Spanish cops, mostly because we were straying into this immigrant area which they wanted to keep the tourists away from, but we just showed them our military ID, and then they were all good, sent us on our way.

My father was in Spain back when Franco was in charge, and he got stopped and questioned by the cops a few times, but he looked like a fuckin' hippie, so it's no wonder.