"Marvelous Land of Oz" script

[Martin Hash]

MARVELOUS LAND OF OZ
by Dr. Martin D. Hash, Esq.
Based on the book by L. Frank Baum.



Act I Chapter 1 - PUMPKINHEAD
MOMBI brings PUMPKINHEAD home to TIP.

Act I Chapter 2 - STATUE
MOMBI tells TIP she is going to turn him into a statue.

Act I Chapter 3 – FLIGHT OF THE FUGITIVES
TIP runs away from MOMBI.

Act I Chapter 4 – AWAKENING OF THE SAWHORSE
PUMPKINHEAD walks slower than TIP so TIP sprinkles pepperdust on SAWHORSE, bringing it alive so PUMPKINHEAD can ride it. PUMPKINHEAD & SAWHORSE run off and leave TIP behind.

Act II Chapter 1 – OZMA DISAPPEARS
OZMA disappears. TIN WOODMAN leaves to look for OZMA. Leaves SCARECROW as interim leader of the EMERALD CITY.

Act II Chapter 2 – NICKEL-PLATED EMPEROR
TIP meets TIN WOODMAN.

Act II Chapter 3 – THE EMERALD CITY
PUMPKINHEAD & SAWHORSE enter the EMERALD CITY.

Act II Chapter 4 – HIS MAJESTY, SCARECROW
PUMPKINHEAD & SAWHORSE meet SCARECROW.

Act II Chapter 5 - CAPTURED
SCARECROW is deposed by JINJUR (in cahoots with MOMBI.)

Act II Chapter 6 – SCARECROW PLANS AN ESCAPE
SCARECROW, PUMPKINHEAD escape EMERALD CITY on back of SAWHORSE.

Act II Chapter 7 – REUNION
SCARECROW, PUMPKINHEAD & SAWHORSE meet up with TIN WOODMAN, TIP.

ACT II Chapter 8 – SUNFLOWERS
SCARECROW, PUMPKINHEAD, SAWHORSE, TIN WOODMAN & TIP are accosted by sunflowers.
ACT II Chapter 9 – MR. H. M. WOGGLEBUG, T.E.
SCARECROW, PUMPKINHEAD, SAWHORSE, TIN WOODMAN & TIP meet WOGGLEBUG.

Act II Chapter 10 – BACK TO THE EMERALD CITY
TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, PUMPKINHEAD, SAWHORSE & WOGGLEBUG try to recapture EMERALD CITY.

Act II Chapter 11 - PRISONERS OF THE QUEEN
TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, PUMPKINHEAD, SAWHORSE & WOGGLEBUG are made prisoners.

Act II Chapter 12 – ESCAPE PLAN
TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, PUMPKINHEAD, SAWHORSE & WOGGLEBUG plan an escape.

Act II Chapter 13 – THE GUMP
TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, PUMPKINHEAD, SAWHORSE & WOGGLEBUG escape EMERALD CITY in the GUMP.

Act II Chapter 14 – AN ASTONISHING FLIGHT
TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, PUMPKINHEAD, SAWHORSE & WOGGLEBUG fly over Oz in the GUMP.

Act II Chapter 15 – IN THE JACKDAW’S NEST
TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, PUMPKINHEAD, SAWHORSE & WOGGLEBUG fall into JACKDAW’S NEST.

Act II Chapter 16 – ATTACK OF THE JACKDAWS
TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, PUMPKINHEAD, SAWHORSE & WOGGLEBUG repel JACKDAWS. SCARECROW is torn apart.

Act II Chapter 17 – STUFFING SCARECROW
SCARECROW is restuffed with money.

Act III Chapter 1 – WISHING PILLS
TIP, WOOGLEBUG & PUMPKINHEAD try the Wishing pills.

Act III Chapter 2 – PRINCESS OZMA
PUMPKINHEAD change into OZMA.

Act III Chapter 3 – OZMA RETURNS
OZMA returns to EMERALD CITY and her throne, exiling JINJUR & MOMBI.

Act III Chapter 4 – THE RICHES OF CONTENT
TIN WOODMAN & SCARECROW head back home.

Act I Chapter 1 - PUMPKINHEAD

EXT: MOMBI’S COTTAGE - DAY

MOMBI stands over TIP, waving her finger at him.

MOMBI
While I’m gone I want you to hoe the garden, chop the wood, thatch the roof, dig the well, clean the stable, cobble the path… And I’d give you more to do but you are such a lazy nephew, you won’t even get those chores done, even though I’ll be away most of the day.

As soon as MOMBI is around the bend, TIP lays against a tree, making himself comfortable.

TIP is asleep when MOMBI awakes him.

MOMBI
Just as I thought – a no account slackard that does nothing and is nothing.

TIP jumps up.

MOMBI stands in front of him. She is hunched over carrying a large cloth COVERED OBJECT strapped to her back.

MOMBI waddles into her COTTAGE.

TIP, curious, follows MOMBI into the COTTAGE.

INT: MOMBI’S COTTAGE - DAY

MOMBI leans the cloth COVERED OBJECT against the wall.

She bends over to open up a CUPBOARD, and takes out a small bottle.

MOMBI reads the bottle.

MOMBI (reading poorly)
Wi…sh… ing… P… ills

MOMBI puts the bottle onto the top of the CUPBOARD as she bends over to again peer inside. She peers left. She peers right. Her eyes pop open and she smiles when she spots something.

MOMBI reaches deep into the CUPBOARD, pulls out a PEPPERBOX.

MOMBI (elated)
That’s it!

MOMBI pulls the cloth off of the object leaning against the wall. It’s PUMPKINHEAD.

TIP peers at PUMPKINHEAD.

MOMBI (smug)
Ah, ha. You’ll see some work done now.

MOMBI sprinkles dust from the PEPPERBOX on PUMPKINHEAD

MOMBI lifts her arms.

MOMBI
Weaugh!

MOMBI lifts her right hand higher with the thumb pointing upward.

MOMBI
Teaugh!

MOMBI lifts both hands over his head with all the fingers and thumbs spread out.

MOMBI (yelling)
Peaugh!

PUMPKINHEAD startles suddenly then settles slowly back into place where it remains motionless.

MOMBI (satisfied)
Well, well, well… That went well, I must say.

TIP walks over to PUMPKINHEAD and stares intently into its face.

PUMPKINHEAD smiles.

TIP jumps back.

PUMPKINHEAD nods.

TIP smiles back.

TIP (wondrous)
What do you know…

PUMPKINHEAD
Well, that is hard to tell for although I feel that I know a tremendous lot, I am not yet aware how much there is in the world to find out about. It will take me a little time to discover whether I am very wise or very foolish.

TIP laughs.

PUMPKINHEAD
I hope you are not reflecting on my personal appearance.

MOMBI
You! Pumpkin head, grab that broom and start sweeping up around here.

TIP turns his head to look at a BROOM propped against a wall.

PUMPKINHEAD leans forward from the wall to stand unsteadily.

TIP looks back at PUMPKINHEAD.

PUMPKINHEAD takes an awkward, halting step, almost falls, takes another step, falls.

MOMBI
Get up! You fool!

TIP rushes to help PUMPKINHEAD up.

PUMPKINHEAD leans on TIP’s shoulder to stand.

PUMPKINHEAD
Thank you.

TIP
You’re welcome.

MOMBI
Sweep! Sweep! Both of you – sweep!

TIP helps PUMPKINHEAD walk shakily to where the BROOM leans against the wall.

TIP takes the BROOM and hands it to PUMPKINHEAD.

With TIP steadying him, PUMPKINHEAD begins sweeping the floor.

A great cloud of dust envelopes them.

TIP
(Coughing.)

FADE OUT:
Act I Chapter 2 - STATUE

FADE IN:

INT: MOMBI’S COTTAGE - NIGHT

MOMBI takes a black KETTLE from the fire. She pours steaming LIQUID into it then she sprinkles in some SAND.

MOMBI picks up a CANDLE and holds it close to a recipe, then puts her face close to read it.

TIP
What’s that for?

MOMBI
For you.

The contents of the KETTLE began to bubble.

TIP stares at the KETTLE.

TIP (concerned)
Have I got to drink that stuff?

MOMBI
Yes.

TIP
What’ll it do to me?

MOMBI
If it’s properly made, it will transform you into a marble statue.

TIP groans and wipes perspiration from his forehead with his sleeve.

TIP (protesting)
I don’t want to be a marble statue.

MOMBI
That doesn’t matter – I want you to be one.

TIP
What use’ll I be then? There won’t be anyone to work for you.

MOMBI
I’ll make the pumpkin head work.

MOMBI
I’m going to plant a flower garden and I’ll put you in the middle of it, for an ornament. I wonder why I haven’t thought of this before… You’ve been a bother to me for years.

TIP (doubtful)
Perhaps the pumpkin head won’t work?

MOMBI (threatening)
Oh, I’ll make it work, alright.

There is a period of gloomy silence as MOMBI lifts the KETTLE from the fire.

MOMBI
You can’t drink this until it becomes quite cold. We must go to bed now, and at daybreak I will call you at once and complete your transformation into a marble statue.

MOMBI hobbles into her room bearing the KETTLE with her. The bedroom door closes and a lock clicks.


Act I Chapter 3 – FLIGHT OF THE FUGITIVES

INT: MOMBI’ COTTAGE - NIGHT

TIP sits staring into the embers of the fire.

MOMBI (OS)
(snores)

TIP startles from his reverie.

TIP (talking quietly to himself)
It’s a hard thing to be a marble statue, and I’m not going to stand it. For years I’ve been a bother to her, she says; so she’s going to get rid of me. Well, there’s an easier way than to become a statue. No boy could have any fun forever standing in the middle of a flower garden! I’ll run away, that’s what I’ll do – and I’ll go before she makes me drink that nasty stuff in the kettle.

TIP arises softly and goes to the CUPBOARD where he grabs a small loaf of BREAD and a hunk of CHEESE and puts them in his pockets.

TIP sees the BOTTLE of Wishing pills on the CUPBOARD and picks it up.

TIP looks at the BOTTLE’s label.

TIP (quietly)
Wishing pills…

TIP puts the BOTTLE into his pocket.

TIP also takes the PEPPERBOX and puts it into his pocket too.

TIP sneaks quietly across the room towards the front door.

TIP comes upon PUMPKINHEAD. TIP beckons.

TIP (whispering)
Come on!

PUMPKINHEAD
Where to?

TIP (whispering)
Shhhh! You’ll know as soon as I do… But you can’t stay here - old Mombi will make a mess of you for sure. Worse than a statue I’d bet.

PUMPKINHEAD
Very well.

PUMPKINHEAD walks awkwardly out of the closet and behind TIP through the open FRONT DOOR out into the moonlight.

Act I Chapter 4 – AWAKENING OF THE SAWHORSE

EXT: DIRT ROAD - MORNING

TIP leads PUMPKINHEAD along a path.

The MOON sinks away and the SUN peeps over the hills.

PUMPKINHEAD is far behind TIP.

TIP stops, turns back to PUMPKINHEAD.

TIP (yells)
Keep up!

TIP waits as PUMPKINHEAD awkwardly ambles closer.

PUMPKINHEAD (yelling)
I cannot walk nearly as fast of you… My feet say go but my legs can’t tell which direction.

While waiting, TIP sits upon SAWHORSE.

PUMPKINHEAD finally stumbles up.

PUMPKINHEAD (curious)
What is that thing you are setting on?

TIP (carelessly)
Oh, this is a sawhorse.

PUMPKINHEAD
What is a sawhorse?

TIP
There are two kinds of horses: one kind of horse is alive and has four legs and a head and a tail and people ride on its back.

PUMPKINHEAD
I understand. That’s the kind of horse you are now sitting on.

TIP
No, it isn’t.

PUMPKINHEAD
Why not? That one has four legs, and a head, and a tail.

TIP looks at SAWHORSE carefully, and makes an inquisitive face.

TIP
This thing resembles a real horse more than I imagined but a real horse is alive and trots and prances and carries riders.

PUMPKINHEAD
If it were alive, wouldn’t it trot and prance and carry riders?

TIP laughs.

TIP
Oh, I suppose – if it were alive – but it’s made of wood.

PUMPKINHEAD
So am I.

TIP looks at PUMPKINHEAD in surprise.

TIP (exclaiming)
Why, so you are!

TIP
The magic powder to bring things alive is here in my pocket…

TIP reaches into his pocket for the PEPPERBOX and eyes it curiously.

TIP
I wonder if it would bring the sawhorse to life so that you may ride it?

TIP begins sprinkling from the PEPPERBOX onto SAWHORSE, puts the box back into his pocket then lifts his arms.

TIP
Weaugh!

PUMPKINHEAD
What does that mean?

TIP
I don’t know… I saw Mombi do it.

TIP lifts his right hand higher with the thumb pointing upward.

TIP
Teaugh!

PUMPKINHEAD
What’s that?

TIP (irritated)
It means you must keep quiet!

PUMPKINHEAD (smiling)
Oh, being quiet… How fast I’m learning!

TIP lifts both hands over his head with all the fingers and thumbs spread out.

TIP (yelling)
Peaugh!

Immediately SAWHORSE moves, stretches its legs, yawns, and shakes.

PUMPKINHEAD
Good!

SAWHORSE bucks and jumps until it bumps against PUMPKINHEAD, knocking him down.

TIP
Whoa! Whoa, there!

SAWHORSE continues bucking then steps on TIP’s foot.

TIP jumps on one foot while holding the other.

TIP (in pain)
Whoa! Whoa, I say!

PUMPKINHEAD raises himself to a sitting position.

PUMPKINHEAD
I don’t believe the animal can hear you.

TIP
I shout loud enough, don’t I?

PUMPKINHEAD
Yes but the creature has no ears.

TIP watches SAWHORSE buck.

TIP
Sure enough… I will find him some.

TIP picks up a branch on the ground.

TIP
I mustn’t get them too big or our horse will become a donkey.

PUMPKINHEAD
How is that?

TIP
Why, a horse has bigger ears than a man, and a donkey has bigger ears than a horse.

PUMPKINHEAD
Then if my ears were longer, would I be a horse?

TIP (gravely)
My friend, you don’t have any ears.

PUMPKINHEAD (nodding)
Oh, I think I understand.

TIP
There’s no harm in thinking you understand.

TIP (soothing)
Good boy… Good boy…

TIP sticks the branch into the top of SAWHORSE’s head.

TIP
Whoa!

SAWHORSE stops bucking and looks up at TIP.

TIP
You’re a nice sort of horse.

SAWHORSE smiles.

TIP
Pumpkinhead, can you ride on its back?

TIP assists PUMPKINHEAD onto SAWHORSE’s back.

TIP
Hold on tight or you may fall off and crack your pumpkin.

PUMPKINHEAD (surprised)
That would be horrible!

TIP
Hold onto his ears.

TIP begins walking, looks back at PUMPKINHEAD & SAWHORSE who have not begun to move.

TIP
Well, come on now.

SAWHORSE still does not move. PUMPKINHEAD tries to make it go forward by jerking his loose body forward.

TIP takes a few more steps, turns around again.

TIP
Come on already! Giddy-up.

SAWHORSE jumps forward, snapping PUMPKINHEAD back, and gallops past TIP.

TIP tries to run and keep up.

SAWHORSE, carrying PUMPKINHEAD on his back, gallops over the rise.

TIP slows down to a stop.

TIP (hopelessly)
Whoa…

Act II Chapter 1 – OZMA DISAPPEARS

INT. TIN WOODMAN’S THRONE ROOM

TIN WOODMAN & SCARECROW are playing CHESS. SCARECROW is deep in concentration but TIN WOODMAN is spinning his AXE on his hand.

TIN WOODMAN begins playing with the captured pieces.

TIN WOODMAN rolls his TIN HAT along his arms, from one hand, over his shoulders, and to the other hand.

SCARECROW
Can’t you sit still?

TIN WOODMAN
I am sitting.

SCARECROW
Still! I asked if you could sit STILL! Not fidget.

TIN WOODMAN
Must I remind you who’s winning this game.

SCARECROW.
You got lucky.

TIN WOODMAN
Did I get lucky last game… And the game before that?

SCARECROW
(Humph!)

TIN SERVANT walks superciliously to where TIN WOODMAN is sitting. He is holding a SCROLL.

TIN SERVANT bows.

TIN SERVANT
Your Highness…

TIN WOODMAN looks to TIN SERVANT, relieved to have something else to think about.

TIN WOODMAN
Yeeeeeees?
TIN SERVANT stands up straight. He hands the SCROLL to TIN WOODMAN.

TIN WOODMAN unrolls the SCROLL. He leans his head closer to read it.

TIN WOODMAN’s eyes go back and forth as he’s reading. His eyes get wide with surprise.

TIN WOODMAN stands up abruptly.

TIN WOODMAN
Stop! Listen! Yikes! What do we do?!

SCARECROW looks up from the game.

SCARECROW (confused)
What? What’s the matter?

TIN WOODMAN (awestruck)
Ozma!

SCARECROW waits for a moment.

SCARECROW
Yes…. Ozma?

TIN WOODMAN (awestruck)
She’s missing! Ozma is missing! She has disappeared.

SCARECROW is alarmed.

SCARECROW (awestruck)
Ozma is missing!

SCARECROW (awestruck)
Oh goodness! Oh gracious! Oh my Ozness!

TIN WOODMAN (confident)
We must go find her!

SCARECROW
Where?

TIN WOODMAN (irritated)
If we knew where, she wouldn’t be missing, now would we?

TIN SERVANT
The castle can run itself in your absence, Sire.

TIN WOODMAN (relieved)
Yes, thank goodness for that!

TIN WOODMAN (commanding)
It’s a good thing I just received my new nickel-plating. I will look much more regal on our quest.

TIN SERVANT (droll)
Yes, indeed, Sire.

TIN WOODMAN
Then we’re off!

FADE OUT:

FADE IN:

TIN WOODMAN & SCARECROW are walking along the YELLOW BRICK ROAD.

SCARECROW
Where could Ozma have gone? Did she say anything?

TIN WOODMAN
Not to me… Did she say anything to you?

SCARECROW
I was with you… If she said anything to me, you would have heard it.

TIN WOODMAN
And visa versa! Why were you asking again? We’ve already gone over this.

SCARECROW
I’m just worried. What if she was captured? What if she’s a prisoner?

TIN WOODMAN
Aren’t you the one who’s always warning against negative thoughts? What if she’s just on vacation? What if she’s walking the dog?

SCARECROW
Does Ozma have a dog?

TIN WOODMAN
Have YOU seen her with a dog?

SCARECROW
No… So how could she be walking it?

TIN WOODMAN
Positive thoughts… Remember? Positive thoughts!

SCARECROW
Oh, yeah… Yes, perhaps she is walking the dog.

TIN WOOMAN sighs in frustration.

TIN WOODMAN
You continue along the Yellow Brick road to the Emerald City to keep things going during Ozma’s absence, and I’ll go to every kingdom, village and town to ask about Ozma. As soon as I hear something, I’ll find her and bring her back.

SCARECROW
Be fast!

TIN WOODMAN
I will!

FADE OUT:

Act II Chapter 2 - NICKEL-PLATED EMPEROR

EXT: DIRT ROAD - DAY

TIP walks up to TIN WOODMAN.

TIP (bashful)
Hello… I’m Tip…

TIN WOODMAN
Hello to you. I’m Tin Woodman - emperor of the Winkies.

TIP (suspicious)
Emperor? Winkies? Alone here on the road? How am I to know you’re a REAL emperor?

TIN WOODMAN (flummoxed)
What? How?

TIN WOODMAN looks down at himself.

TIN WOODMAN (confident)
Why because of my new nickel-plate, don’t you know? Have you ever seen such shinny beauty on someone not an emperor?

TIP
Well? I must admit I haven’t… Whatever nickel-plating is, and whatever Winkies are, and whatever YOU are – I suppose you could as easily be an emperor as not.

TIN WOODMAN frowns.

TIN WOODMAN (insulted)
I’m not sure how to take that?

TIP
Your Majesty.

TIN WOODMAN smiles.

TIN WOODMAN
Now that we’ve got introductions over with? You haven’t by any chance seen Ozma about have you?

TIP
Ozma?

TIN WOODMAN
Lives in the Emerald City? Ruler of all Oz?

TIP
Is she much older than me?

TIN WOODMAN looks at TIP critically.

TIN WOODMAN
I might say she is?

TIP
Then I haven’t talked to her for the older girls ignore me as if I wasn’t there.

TIN WOODMAN (sympathetic)
Do they now? That would be quite rude of them.

TIP
Yes! It is!

TIN WOODMAN
Perhaps if you were older than them?

TIP
That’s what I’m thinking too… We need to reverse ages: I will be older than the girls and they will be younger than me.

TIN WOODMAN (considering)
By golly, I think that will work. You should try it next time.

TIN WOODMAN
In the meantime, if you see Ozma, even if she won’t notice you because she is older, tell her, her friend Tin Woodman is looking for her.

TIP
By the way… It just so happens I’m looking for someone too. Have you, by any chance, seen a pumpkin head riding a sawhorse at great speed.

TIN WOODMAN narrowed his eyes, staring at TIP suspiciously.

TIN WOODMAN
There’s no need to try and play jokes on me, you know.

TIP (chagrined)
Oh… I’m not… Uhhh… I’m pretty sure you haven’t seen them or you’d know.

TIN WOODMAN (disbelieving)
Not likely I ever will.

TIP
Could I perhaps travel with you? Since we’re both looking for someone… And we don’t know what places to start looking… We might as well start looking in the places we don’t know together.

TIN WOODMAN thinks for a moment.

TIN WOODMAN
That seems like a reasonable enough idea.

TIN WOODMAN
If you see and older girl tell me… And if I see a pumpkin on a sawhorse – I’ll, uh… Tell you.

TIP smiles and shakes TIN WOODMAN’s hand.

TIP
It’s a deal.

FADE OUT:

Act II Chapter 3 – THE EMERALD CITY

EXT: EMERALD CITY WALL – DAY

As PUMPKINHEAD riding on SAWHORSE races down the YELLOW BRICK ROAD, a HIGH WALL looms up before them.

PUMPKINHEAD (fearful)
Whoa!

SAWHORSE stops immediately and PUMPKINHEAD flies forward, spinning over SAWHORSE’s head, except his arms are still holding onto SAWHORSE’s ears, so that PUMPKINHEAD ends up lying on his back in front of SAWHORSE.

A HIDDEN GATE, one that was not visible before, opens with a soft whoosh, and GREEN WHISKERS looks out.

GREEN WHISKERS
May I inquire who you are and what is your business?

PUMPKINHEAD
I’m Pumpkinhead… But as to my business, I haven’t the least idea in the world what it is?

GREEN WHISKERS looks cross and shakes his head.

GREEN WHISKERS
Have you any errand, sir, in the Emerald City?

PUMPKINHEAD
It seems that I have but I cannot think what it is?

GREEN WHISKERS
This is a strange affair – very strange. But you seem harmless enough. Folks do not smile so delightfully when they mean mischief.

PUMPKINHEAD shows a great smile.

GREEN WISKERS
Well, come with me and I will see what can be done for you.

PUMPKINHEAD rides SAWHORSE through the HIDDEN GATE, which closes with a soft whoosh behind them – no hint left that it even existed.

GREEN WHISKERS holds out a pair of SPECTACLES.

GREEN WHISKERS (sighing)
I haven’t a pair in stock that will really go well with your color.

PUMPKINHEAD
But why need I wear spectacles?

GREEN WHISKERS
It’s the fashion here.

PUMPKINHEAD (excited)
Oh! Then by all means.

PUMPKINHEAD puts on the SPECTACLES.

GREEN WHISKERS puts a pair of SPECTACLES on SAWHORSE.

GREEN WISKERS, PUMPKINHEAD & SAWHORSE walk through the streets. PUMPKINHEAD looks around, amazed.

DOG barks at PUMPKINHEAD.

PUMPKINHEAD makes a frightening face at DOG.

DOG runs off, yelping.

GREEN WHISKERS, PUMPKINHEAD & SAWHORSE come to MARBLE STEPS leading to the CASTLE ENTRANCE. PUMPKINHEAD gets off of SAWHORSE and slowly climb the steps.



Act II Chapter 4 – HIS MAJESTY, SCARECROW

FADE UP:

INT: EMERALD CITY THRONE ROOM - DAY

When PUMPKINHEAD enters the THRONE ROOM, SCARECROW, wearing a heavy crown, is seated upon a THRONE across from him.

PUMPKINHEAD stops.

SCARECROW
Where in Oz did you come from?

PUMPKINHEAD bows.

PUMPKINHEAD
I beg Your Majesty’s pardon but I do not understand you.

SCARECROW
Why don’t you understand?

PUMPKINHEAD
I don’t understand your language. You see, I came from another country so I am a foreigner.

SCARECROW
Ah, to be sure!

SCARECROW
I, myself, speak the language of the Emerald City but you, I suppose, speak the language of the pumpkin heads?

PUMPKINHEAD nods.

PUMPKINHEAD
Exactly, your majesty, so it is impossible for us to understand one another.

SCARECROW
That is unfortunate, certainly. We must have an interpreter.

PUMPKINHEAD
What is an interpreter?

SCARECROW
A person who understands both my language and your own. When I say anything, the interpreter can tell you what I mean; and when you say anything, the interpreter can speak both languages as well as understand them.

PUMPKINHEAD
That is certainly clever… Perhaps I can be the interpreter?

SCARECROW
Hmmm… Perhaps?

SCARECROW motions to a chair.

SCARECROW
Would you like to sit?

PUMPKINHEAD
Your Majesty forgets that I cannot understand you. If you wish me to sit down, you must make a sign for me to do so.

SCARECROW scowls.

SCARECROW walks down from his throne and pushes an armchair behind PUMPKINHEAD then pushes him into it.

PUMPKINHEAD sprawls upon the chair, doubled up and awkward. He spends a moment to untangle himself. His head is pointed backwards.

SCARECROW
Did you understand that sign?

PUMPKINHEAD turns his head around from back to front.

PUMPKINHEAD
Perfectly.

SCARECROW considers PUMPKINHEAD.

SCARECROW
You seem hastily made.

PUMPKINHEAD
No more than Your Majesty.

SCARECROW
There is this difference between us, that whereas I will bend but not break, you will break but not bend.

PUMPKINHEAD
It is a fine thing to understand two different languages for I could easily tell that you said that your brains have come loose.

SCARECROW (surprised)
I did not!

PUMPKINHEAD
Are you aware that one of your eyes is painted larger than the other?

SCARECROW (suspicious)
Are you trying to make fun of me?

PUMPKINHEAD
I interpret that I said, “you are a wonderful creature.”

SCARECROW (accusatory)
You are trying to make me think you said one thing when you really said another.

PUMPKINHEAD
I do not think I am that clever.

SCARECROW (severe)
This should be a warning to you never to think, for unless one can think wisely, it is better to remain a dummy – which you most certainly are!

PUMPKINHEAD
I am! I surely am!

SCARECROW
It seems to me that your manufacturer spoiled some good pies when creating you.

PUMPKINHEAD
I assure Your Majesty, I did not ask to be created.

SCARECROW (pleasantly surprised)
Ah! It was the same in my case. And so, as we differ from all ordinary people, let us become friends.

PUMPKINHEAD (exclaiming)
With all my heart!

SCARECROW (suspicious)
What!? Have you a heart?

PUMPKINHEAD
No, that was only a figure of speech.

SCARECROW (relieved)
Good… For I am very suspicious of hearts – they make one do ridiculous things.
Act II Chapter 5 - CAPTURED

EXT: EMERALD CITY WALL - DAY

An OPENING, which was not previously visible, whisks open in the WALL. GREEN WHISKERS is standing in the OPENING.

GREEN WHISKERS (casual)
Good morning, my dears! What can I do for you?

JINJUR stands ahead of her ARMY OF GIRLS before GREEN WHISKERS, frowning.

JINJUR (commanding)
Surrender instantly!

GREEN WHISKERS (astounded)
Surrender!

JINJUR (calmly)
You heard me.

GREEN WHISKERS (confused)
Surrender? Why, it’s impossible. It’s against the law! I never heard of such a thing in my life.

JINJUR (exclaiming)
Still, you must surrender! We are revolting!

GREEN WHISKERS (admiring)
You don’t look it.

JINJUR stamps her foot.

JINJUR (angry)
But we are! We mean to conquer the Emerald City!

GREEN WHISKERS (surprised)
Good gracious! What a nonsensical idea! Go home to your mothers, my good girls, and milk the cows and bake the bread. Don’t you know it’s a dangerous thing to conquer a city?

JINJUR
We are not afraid!

Followed by her army, JINJUR rushes through the GATE, pushing aside GREEN WHISKERS.

GREEN WHISKERS (meekly)
Halt…

GREEN WISKERS is buffeted by the GIRLS army as they walk quickly through the GATE.
Act II Chapter 6 – SCARECROW PLANS AN ESCAPE

INT: THRONE ROOM - DAY

SCARECROW plays chess with PUMPKINHEAD.

GREEN WHISKERS rushes into the room.

GREEN WHISKERS (out of breath)
Oh! Your Majesty! Your Majesty! The city is conquered!

SCARECROW (calm)
This is quite sudden… But please be patient the door while I show Pumpkinhead how to move.

SCARECROW continues to play chess with PUMPKINHEAD.

SCARECROW
By the way, who has conquered me?

GREEN WHISKERS
A girls army, Your Majesty..

SCARECROW
And where is my Royal Army to protect me?

GREEN WHISKERS comes to attention.

GREEN WHISKERS
Standing right here - at your service, Sir!

SCARECROW (perplexed)
Is there no one else but you?

GREEN WHISKERS
I have always been sufficient in the past, Sir.

SCARECROW purses his lips.

SCARECROW
Well, I don’t mind much the loss of my throne, for it’s a tiresome job to rule over the Emerald City, and this crown is so heavy it makes my head ache, but I’m afraid Ozma will be peeved when we she finds out that I have lost the Emerald City.

GREEN WHISKERS
The palace is surrounded by the enemy. It is too late to escape and I heard them say they intend to make a rag carpet of your outsides and stuff their sofa cushions with your insides.

SCARECROW’s eyebrows shoot up.

SCARECROW (calming down)
We must keep our heads…

SCARECROW looks at PUMPKINHEAD, squints.

SCARECROW
In an emergency it is always a good thing to pause and reflect. Please excuse me while I pause and reflect.

At that moment JINJUR walks into the THRONE ROOM surrounded by her GIRL ARMY.

JINJUR
I am General Jinjur of the revolt.

SCARECROW
Oh! I didn’t know there was a revolt?

JINJUR
You weren’t supposed to know it for we have kept it a secret, and considering that our army is composed entirely of girls, it is surely a remarkable thing that our revolt is secret.

SCARECROW
But what is there to have a revolt for?

JINJUR
There is enough money in the Treasury to buy every girl in our army anything they want, so we conquered the city and intend to run the government to suit ourselves.

SCARECROW
But a revolt is a terrible thing! Won’t someone get hurt?

JINJUR
What man would oppose a girl or dare to harm her? There is not an ugly face in my entire army.

SCARECROW
But the Royal Army will not let the city be conquered without a struggle.

JINJUR
The Royal Army is old and feeble. His strength has all been used to grow whiskers and his wife is my major domo.

GREEN WHISKERS WIFE waves and smiles at GREEN WHISKERS.

GREEN WHISKERS smiles meekly, cautiously waves back.

JINJUR (threatening)
Consider yourselves my prisoners. I must secure the city but we will be back soon to deal with you!

JINJUR turns and leaves the THRONE ROOM, followed by the GIRL ARMY.

PUMPKINHEAD (anxious)
We are in great danger. If any of these girls understand cooking, my end is not far off!

SCARECROW (exclaiming)
Nonsense! They’re too busy to cook, even if they know how!

PUMPKINHEAD (protesting)
But should I remain here a prisoner for any length of time, I’m liable to spoil!

SCARECROW
Ah! Then you would not be fit to associate with. The matter is more serious than I suspected.

SCARECROW (soothing)
Don’t worry, if you’ll keep quiet long enough for me to think, I’ll try to find a way for us to escape.

PUMPKINHEAD waits in patient silence while SCARECROW walks to a corner and stands with his face to the wall.

The sound of female shouts comes from outside the THRONE.

PUMPKINHEAD’s eyes go wide.

SCARECROW does not move.

The voice outside get louder and more raucous.

PUMPKINHEAD is frightened. He stares hopefully at SCARECROW.

Abruptly, SCARECROW turns from facing the wall.

SCARECROW (smiling)
Ah, ha!

SCARECROW points at SAWHORSE.

SCARECROW
We must let the sawhorse bear us on its back to dash through the ranks of the rebels and carry us to safety.

PUMPKINHEAD looks relieved.

PUMPKINHEAD
An excellent plan! I could not have thought of it myself.

PUMPKINHEAD first mounted SAWHORSE, feet outstretched, then SCARECROW mounts.

SCARECROW
I will leave the Royal Army to guard our retreat.

SCARECROW was somewhat surprised when he looked around to GREEN WHISKERS already running away.

PUMPKINHEAD (excited)
Now, sawhorse! Run as fast as you can for the gate of the city and don’t let anything stop you!

PUMPKINHEAD & SCARECROW are whiplashed as SAWHORSE dashes suddenly away.

PUMPKINHEAD & SCARECROW
(Gasps!)

SAWHORSE knocks down several of the GIRL ARMY, runs through the streets upsetting a FRUIT CART, and finally out at the gate.

SAWHORSE continues its gallop outside the walls of the EMERALD CITY, dashing along the road.



Act II Chapter 7 – REUNION

FADE UP:

EXT: COUNTRYSIDE - DAY

TIN WOODMAN & TIP are walking & talking together along the DIRT ROAD.

TIN WOODMAN
My new nickel-plating is gleaming in the sun quite nicely, don’t you think, Tip?

TIP stops to look carefully at TIN WOODMAN.

TIP
I almost need to cover my eyes it is so bright… Have you always been made of tin?

SCARECROW (surprised)
That, I’m afraid, is a rather long story…

TIP looks up, catching sight of something in the distance.

TIP
Yipee! I cannot be mistaken – that is my friend, Pumpkinhead, I see coming.

PUMPKINHEAD, SCARECROW can be seen approaching in the distance, galloping on the back of SAWHORSE.

TIN WOODMAN peers in the same direction.

TIN WOODMAN
And I cannot be mistaken – that is my friend, Scarecrow, coming with him…

TIN WOODMAN (curious)
What are they riding?

TIP
The sawhorse I was telling you about… The one you thought I was kidding about?

PUMPKINHEAD, SCARECROW, ridding SAWHORSE, come to an abrupt halt right in front of TIN WOODMAN & TIP.

SCARECROW
Oh my, oh my, oh my! Get me off of this thing - I think I spilled half my stuffing, flying off in the wind, while riding this wild beast.

PUMPKINHEAD
I agree, it is something you must get used to.

SCARECROW painfully gets off the back of SAWHORSE.

SCARECROW walks stiffly up to TIN WOODMAN & TIP. He stares at TIP.

SCARECROW
This isn’t Ozma? This is a boy?

TIN WOODMAN
This is my new friend, Tip. He was looking for his companions – whom you seem to have found. Congratulations.

SCARECROW
Oh, well… They found me. And a couple other things besides.

TIN WOODMAN looks intently at PUMPKINHEAD.

TIN WOODMAN
Tip was telling me about you…

PUMPKINHEAD (elated)
I hope it was all good!

TIN WOODMAN looks up and down PUMPKINHEAD’s body.

TIN WOODMAN
You are not very substantial, I must admit, but you are certainly unusual.

PUMPKINHEAD (humbly)
I thank you… And who, may I ask, are you?

TIN WOODMAN (proud)
Why I’m Tin Woodman, Emperor of the Winkies.

PUMPKINHEAD
Nice to meet Your Majesty Tin Woodman.

TIN WOODMAN smiles.

TIN WOODMAN
I hope you are enjoying good health?

PUMPKINHEAD (sighing)
At present, yes, but I am in constant terror of the day when I spoil.

TIN WOODMAN (kindly)
Nonsense! Do not, I beg of you, dampen today’s sun with the showers of tomorrow. For before you head has time to spoil you can have it canned, and it that way may be preserved indefinitely.

PUMPKINHEAD looks aghast.

TIN WOODMAN turns to SCARECROW.

TIN WOODMAN
Are things well in the Emerald City?

SCARECROW
I cannot say… For the Girls Army have driven me out.

TIN WOODMAN
Great goodness! What?

SCARECROW
Girls have robbed the Royal Treasury and are running things to suit themselves.

TIN WOODMAN (shocked)
Dear me! What an extraordinary idea!

SCARECROW
Quite a calamity, I’d say.

TIN WOODMAN (chagrined)
What will Ozma say when she finds out?

SCARECROW (conspiratorially)
Exactly what I was worrying about…

TIN WOODMAN
We will go at once and recapture the Emerald City!

SCARECROW
How large an army can we assemble?

TIN WOODMAN
We do not need an army. We three, with the aid of my gleaming axe and new nickel-plating, are enough to strike terror into the hearts of the rebels.

PUMPKINHEAD (correcting)
We four.

TIN WOODMAN
Oh… Uh… Yes, we four.

EXT: BRIGHT SUNNY MORNING

Down the YELLOW BRICK ROAD, TIN WOODMAN marches, bearing on his shoulder a gleaming axe, leading the way, while PUMPKINHEAD rides SAWHORSE, and TIP & SCARECROW walk along either side.

FADE OUT:
ACT II Chapter 8 – SUNFLOWERS

EXT: YELLOW BRICK ROAD - DAY

TIN WOODMAN
Something very curious has happened. I ought to know by heart every step of this journey, and yet I fear we have already lost our way.

SCARECROW (protesting)
That is quite impossible! Why do you think, my dear friend, that we have gone astray?

TIN WOODMAN
Well, I’ve never saw this field of sunflowers in all my life.

SCARECROW looks around him. He’s surrounded by tall stalks, every stalk bearing at its top a gigantic SUNFLOWER. Each flower whirls around on its stalk like a windmill.

TIN WOODMAN raises his AXE from his shoulder and advances towards the SUNFLOWERS.

The SUNFLOWERS stop spinning, and a different girl’s face appears in the center of each flower. All the faces burst into a chorus of merry laughter.

SCARECROW (surprised)
It’s the rebel girls!

The SUNFLOWER directly in front of TIN WOODMAN fades to the face of JINJUR.

JINJUR
(Laughs.)

SCARECROW
It’s that awful Jinjur, leader of the rebels!

A SUNFLOWER next to JINJUR’s FLOWER fades to the face of MOMBI.

MOMBI
(Laughs.)

TIP
It’s Mombi! She is the witchcraft behind this. She must be in cahoots with the rebels. They are trying to confuse so that we cannot find our way back to the Emerald City.

SCARECROW
That explains much!

TIN WOODMAN
Let’s get past these magical plants as fast as we can… Run!

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP start running.

PUMPKINHEAD, on the back of SAWHORSE, is left behind for a moment but finally SAWHORSE gallops along behind.

TIN WOODMAN, followed by TIP, followed by SCARECROW, pushs their way through the last of the SUNFLOWERS. SAWHORSE, carrying PUMPKINHEAD, comes last.

SAWHORSE trips and PUMPKINHEAD’s head is pitched high into the air. TIN WOODMAN skillfully catches the pumpkin and placed it back on PUMPKINHEAD’s shoulders.

TIN WOODMAN (relieved)
Whew… That was close.

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, PUMPKINHEAD & SAWHORSE stand in a circle looking at each other.

SCARECROW
Jinjur knows we are coming. We must make a plan to recapture the Emerald City for Ozma.

SCARECROW puts his hand to his chin and looks upward in thought.

SCARECROW
I suppose I must start my brains working, for experience has taught me that I can do anything if I only take time to think.

TIP
Let us all think.

WOGGLEBUG (OS)
That is something that I am quite accomplished at?
ACT II Chapter 9 – MR. H. M. WOGGLEBUG, T.E.

EXT: YELLOW BRICK ROAD - DAY

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, PUMPLINHEAD & SAWHORSE all turn around towards the voice. They have surprised looks on their faces.

WOGGLEBUG
Are none of you pleased by my presence?

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, PUMPLINHEAD & SCARECROW stare at WOGGLEBUG without saying a word.

SCARECROW squints his eyes.

SCARECROW
I confess that your abrupt appearance has caused me surprise, and no doubt has startled my companions too. I hope, however, that this circumstance will not distress you.

WOGGLEBUG (earnest)
Do not apologize, I beg of you. If affords me great pleasure to surprise people; for surely I cannot be classed with ordinary insects, and am entitled to both curiosity and admiration from those I meet.

PUMPKINHEAD
It is a pleasure to meet you. Good morning.

WOGGLEBUG
And good morning to you, one and all. I hope you are, as an aggregation, enjoying excellent health. Permit me to present my card.

WOGGLEBUG extends a CARD toward SCARECROW, who accepts it.

SCARECROW turns the CARD over and over then hands it with a shake of his head to TIP.

TIP reads the CARD.

TIP
MR. H. M. WOGGLEBUG, T.E.

SCARECROW
What does the “H.M.” stand for?

WOGGLEBUG (proud)
“H. M.” means highly magnified.

SCARECROW
Oh, I see… And are you really highly magnified?

WOGGLEBUG (indignant)
Sir… I take you for a gentleman of judgment. Does it not occur to you that I am several thousand times larger than any wogglebug you ever saw before? Therefore it is plainly evident that I am highly magnified, and there is no good reason why you should doubt that fact.

SCARECROW
Pardon me... Would it be improper for me to ask also what the “T.E.” at the end of your name stands for?

WOGGLEBUG (condescending)
Those letters express my degree. To be more explicit, the initials mean that I am thoroughly educated.

TIN WOODMAN (suspicious)
And how can that be? You appear to be a giant, upright, talking wogglebug!

WOGGLEBUG (professorial)
It is but honest that I should acknowledge that in the beginning I was an ordinary wogglebug. Knowing no better, I used my arms as well as my legs for walking, and crawled under the edges of stones or hid among the roots of grasses. But destiny has singled me out, humble though I am, for a greater fate!

WOGGLEBUG
One day I crawled near to a country schoolhouse, and my curiosity being excited, I made bold to enter and creep along a crack in the hearth.

WOGGLEBUG
I began to listen to the lectures and discourses given to the pupils. Not one of them was more attentive than the humble, unnoticed wogglebug, and I acquired in this way a fund of knowledge that I will myself confess is simply marvelous. My greatest pride lies in the fact that the world cannot produce another wogglebug with a tenth part of my own culture and erudition.

SCARECROW
I do not blame you. Education is a thing to be proud of. I’m educated myself. The mess of brains given me by the Great Wizard is considered by my friends to be unexcelled.

TIN WOODMAN (interrupting)
Nevertheless, a good heard is, I believe, much more desirable than education or brains.

PUMPKINHEAD
Could seeds be considered brains?

WOGGLEBUG (satirically)
Are you done?

SCARECROW, TIN WOODMAN & PUMPKINHEAD look chagrined.

WOGGLEBUG
I lived three years in that secluded schoolhouse hearth, drinking thirstily of the ever-flowing fount of limpid knowledge before me.

SCARECROW (nodding)
Quiet poetical.

WOGGLEBUG
But one day a marvelous circumstance occurred that altered my very existence. The professor put me underneath a microscope to carefully study my peculiar construction and become acquainted with my habits and manner of life. I found myself thrown upon a screen in a highly magnified state – even as you now behold me!

WOGGLEBUG
I was proud of my great size, and realized that it would be a good time to escape so that I could travel everywhere in the world where my superior culture would make me a fit associate for the most learned person I might chance to meet.

TIN WOODMAN (droll)
Is that so?

PUMPKINHEAD
Wonderful!

WOGGLEBUG (agreeing)
It is indeed. I have never ceased to congratulate myself for my excessive knowledge.

TIN WOODMAN (droll)
I dare say you haven’t.

TIP
Where were you going when you met us?

WOGGLEBUG
No where in particular… For no learned persons have yet asked me to join them.

PUMPKINHEAD
I’m almost learned. Perhaps you can join us? We are bound for the Emerald City?

WOGGLEBUG bowed with profound grace.

WOGGLEBUG
It will give me great pleasure to accept your kind invitation, for nowhere in the Land of Oz could I hope to meet with so congenial a company.

PUMPLINHEAD
We are as congenial as flies and honey.

WOGGLEBUG looks at SCARECROW then TIN WOODMAN then TIP then PUMPKINHEAD then SAWHORSE.

WOGGLEBUG (curious)
Pardon me if I seem inquisitive: are you not all rather… Ahem… Rather unusual?

SCARECROW
Not more so than yourself. Everything in life is unusual until you get accustomed to it.

WOGGLEBUG (exclaiming)
What rare philosophy!

SCARECROW (proud)
Yes, my brains are working well today.

WOGGLEBUG
Then if you are sufficiently rested and refreshed, perhaps let us bend our steps toward the Emerald City.

TIN WOODMAN
Ahhh… I suppose one as elevated as you can travel with the meager likes of us.

WOGGLEBUG
Yes, indeed. Thank you for your generosity. You must have an excellent heart, my metallic friend.

TIN WOODMAN (pleased)
I have. My heart is quite the best part of me. And combining the best of yours and Scarecrow’s brains, we will think of some way to succeed in our mission… Let us proceed to the Emerald City.
Act II Chapter 10 – BACK TO THE EMERALD CITY

EXT: EMERALD CITY GATE – DAY

Approaching a GATEWAY of the EMERALD CITY, TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, WOGGLEBUG & PUMPKINHEAD riding SAWHORSE find it guarded by GIRL SOLDIERS who threaten to prod them with large NEEDLES.

TIN WOODMAN (fearless)
At the worst they can but scratch my beautiful nickel-plate. Follow me closely, all of you!

TIN WOODMAN swings his AXE in a great circle, advancing on the GATE.

The GIRL SOLDIERS run away.

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, WOGGLEBUG & PUMPKINHEAD riding SAWHORSE pass through the GATEWAY, and march towards the ROYAL PALACE.

TIN WOODMAN (laughing)
At this rate we will soon have Your Majesty Scarecrow upon the throne again.

SCARECROW
Indeed. Nothing it seems can resist your kind heart and sharp axe.

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, WOGGLEBUG & PUMPKINHEAD riding SAWHORSE pass rows of houses. In the open doors MEN IN APRONS are sweeping and dusting and washing dishes, while WOMEN sit around in groups, talking and laughing.

MAN IN APRON wheels a baby carriage along the sidewalk.

SCARECROW
What has happened?

MAN IN APRON
Why, we’ve had a revolution. The women are running things to suit themselves. Doing housework and minding the children is wearing out the strength of every man in the Emerald City.

SCARECROW
Humph! If it is such hard work as you say, how did the women manage it so easily?

MAN IN APRON (sighing)
I really don’t know…. Perhaps women are made of iron.

Several WOMEN stop talking long enough to cast curious looks but immediately they turn away with a laugh and resume their conversation.

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, WOGGLEBUG & PUMPKINHEAD riding SAWHORSE walk right up to the steps of the ROYAL PALACE. They all look at each other.

SCARECROW
It seems like I just came this way.

PUMPKINHEAD
We did just come this way.

SCARECROW
But I think we were pointed in the other direction… And traveling quickly.

TIN WOODMAN
Well, let’s go this direction and travel slowly.

TIN WOODMAN holds his AXE out in front of him.

TIN WOODMAN (confident)
Follow me.


Act II Chapter 11 - PRISONERS OF THE QUEEN

EXT: EMERALD CITY – DAY

SCARECROW (uneasy)
I’m afraid we are walking into a trap.

TIN WOODMAN (confident)
Nonsense! The silly creatures are conquered already!

SCARECROW and PUMPKINHEAD look at each other uneasily.

TIP
It’s too easy, altogether. Look out for trouble ahead.

TIN WOODMAN (confident)
There won’t be any trouble.

INT: ARCHED HALLWAY – DAY

Unopposed, TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, WOGGLEBUG, PUMPKINHEAD beside SAWHORSE, walk through an ARCHED HALLWAY.

INT: EMERALD CITY THRONE ROOM - DAY

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, WOGGLEBUG, PUMPKINHEAD beside SAWHORSE, walk into the THRONE ROOM.

JINJUR is seated on the THRONE with a CROWN on her head. She is eating from a BOX OF CANDY resting in her lap. She seems entirely at ease.

SCARECROW steps forward, confronting JINJUR. He stares sternly at her.

SCARECROW (demanding)
How dare you sit on Ozma’s throne!

JINJUR
The throne belongs to whoever is able to take it. I have taken it, as you see, so just now I am the Queen, and all who oppose me are guilty of treason and must be punished by the law.

SCARECROW
Why, when it comes to the law, I have nothing to say; for laws were never meant to be understood, and it is foolish to make the attempt.

TIN WOODMAN (commanding)
You must leave!

PUMPKINHEAD (whispering)
Why don’t you send her back to her mother where she belongs.

JINJUR frowns.

TIP (whispering)
Why don’t you shut her up in a closet until she behaves herself and promises to be good?

JINJUR’s lip curls scornfully.

TIN WOODMAN
No, we must treat the poor girl with gentleness. Let us give her all the jewels she can carry and send her away happy and contented.

JINJUR laughs aloud.

JINJUR
You are very absurd creates but I am tired of your nonsense and have no time to bother with you longer.

JINJUR claps her hands together thrice.

A shout of laughter rings out and TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, GOGGLEBUG, PUMPKINHEAD & SAWHORSE find themselves surrounded by the ARMY OF GIRLS, all holding sharp needles outstretched.

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, GOGGLEBUG, PUMPKINHEAD & SAWHORSE huddled together.

JINJUR (gaily)
You see how foolish it is to oppose a woman’s wit, and this event only proves that I am more fit to rule the Emerald City than a scarecrow.

JINJUR (sincere)
I bear you no ill will, I assure you; but lest you should prove troublesome to me in the future I shall have you locked up. And if you bother me again…

JINJUR (threatening)
The scarecrow will do nicely in a bonfire, and the pumpkin shall be made into tarts, and the tin man an be cut into small pieces and fed to the goats, and as for the wogglebug…

WOGGLEBUG (indignant)
Highly magnified, if you please.

JINJUR (reflective)
I think I will ask the cook to make goulash of you.

WOGGLEBUG shudders.

JINJUR stands up and points toward the door.
JINJUR
Away with them!

The ARMY OF GIRLS close in.

FADE OUT:

Act II Chapter 12 – ESCAPE PLAN

INT: CASTLE ROOM - DAY

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, GOGGLEBUG, PUMPKINHEAD & SAWHORSE all stand in a circle, shoulders lowered in defeat.

TIN WOODMAN walks over to a window and looks out.

TIN WOODMAN
The palace is surrounded by the Girl Army.

SCARECROW (dejected)
It seems to me that Jinjur is quite right. And if she is right then I am wrong and we have no business occupying her palace.

TIP
But Ozma was the queen until she left so it still appears to me that Jinjur is the interloper.

PUMPKINHEAD (shivering)
She threatened to make tarts of me, you know.

TIN WOODMAN
Don’t worry. It cannot matter greatly because if you stay here you will spoil in time anyway. A good tart is far more admirable than a decayed intellect.

SCARECROW (agreeing)
Very true.

PUMPKINHEAD
Oh, dear! What an unhappy lot is mine…

WOGGLEBUG (distressed)
I beg to remind you that this terrible Jinjur suggested making a goulash of me… Me! The only highly magnified wogglebug in the whole wide world!

SCARECROW (approvingly)
I think it was a brilliant idea.

TIN WOODMAN turned to SCARECROW

TIN WOODMAN (inquisitively)
Don’t you image he would make a better soup?

SCARCROW
Well, perhaps?

WOGGLEBUG groaned.

TIP (exclaiming)
How heartless! Are we not faithful friends?

TIP (encouraging)
Let us end this mournful talk and try to discover a means of escape.

SCARECROW sits on a SOFA.

SCARECROW
My brains work beautifully today. I’m quite proud of them. Now listen! If we attempt to escape through the doors, we shall surely be recaptured. There is only one other thing to be done: we must escape through the air!

TIP thinks for a moment then his mouth opens and his eyes grow wide with a bright idea.

TIP puts his hand in his pocket and removes the PEPPERBOX.

TIP (considering)
Maybe… We could build some sort of machine with good strong wings to carry us, and I can bring it to life with the magical powder from the pepperbox – like I did with Sawhorse!

TIN WOODMAN
Bravo!

WOGGLEBUG
Really quite clever.

TIN WOODMAN
The thing will have to be built on the roof so it can rise comfortably into the air

SCARECROW
To be sure.

TIN WOODMAN
Then let us search for things to build it from.

FADE OUT:




Act II Chapter 13 – THE GUMP

FADE UP:

EXT: CHIMNEY ROOFTOP – STARRY NIGHT

TIN WOODMAN stands in front of the almost complete GUMP.

TIN WOODMAN (doubtful)
Hmmm… I cannot but wonder how this mess of rubbish could possibly fly? I can not even tell which is the proper end of the thing.

SCARECROW hobbles over carrying the GUMP’s head.

SCARECROW (wheezing from exertion)
This will show what end is the front.

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, WOGGLEBUG, PUMPKINHEAD & SAWHORSE stand back to admire their handiwork. All have various skeptical expressions on their faces.

PUMPKINHEAD purses his mouth.

PUMPKINHEAD
Surely you would not call the thing complete without a tail?

PUMPKINGHEAD sticks a BROOM in the tail end of the GUMP.

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, WOGGLEBUG & SAWHORSE all nod.

TIP holds up the PEPPERBOX.

TIP
The thing looks very big and I’m not sure there is enough powder left to bring all of it to life but I’ll make it go as far as possible.

TIN WOODMAN
Put most on the wings for they must be made as strong as possible.

SCARECROW
Don’t forget the head!

PUMPKINHEAD
Or the tail!

TIP (nervous)
Do be quiet. You must give me a chance to work the magic charm in the proper manner.

TIP lifts his arms.

TIP (incantation)
Weaugh!

GUMP’s left wing begins to flap slowly.

TIP lifts his right hand higher with the thumb pointing upward.

TIP (incantation)
Teaugh!

GUMP’s right wing also begins to flap slowly.

TIP lifts both hands over his head with all the fingers and thumbs spread out.

TIP (yelling)
Peaugh!

GUMP shudders.

GUMP
Eeeeeck!

GUMP’s wings begin flapping furiously.

TIP desperately grabs the chimney else he would blow off the roof by the powerful breeze.

SCARECROW is blown into the air but TIP grabs him at the last instant.

WOGGLEBUG leis flat on the roof.

TIN WOODMAN throws both arms around PUMPKINHEAD, holding his steady.

SAWHORSE topples onto his back, kicks his legs helplessly.

GUMP rises slowly into the air.

TIP (frightened)
Here! Come back! Come back and once!

TIN WOODMAN
Jump in, everyone!

TIN WOODMAN throws PUMPKINHEAD into the GUMP as it is raising.

TIP jumps in.

TIN WOODMAN grabs WOGGLEBUG and SCARECROW around the waist and with a great leap lands in the GUMP.

SAWHORSE rights itself, runs to gather speed, jumps from skylight, to chimney top, to tall spire and finally into the GUMP.

GUMP raises slowly, gaining speed then turns to fly off into the night sky.
ACT II Chapter 14 – AN ASTONISHING FLIGHT

EXT: FLYING - NIGHT

TIP
This is the most novel experience I’ve ever heard of.

GUMP turns his head to look into the SOFAs where TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, WOGGLEBUG, PUMPKINHEAD & SAWHORSE are sitting comfortably.

GUMP (sadly)
My only satisfaction is that I don’t seem to have a very strong constitution and am not likely to live long.

TIN WOODMAN (surprised)
It speaks too!

SCARECROW (exclaims)
Don’t say that, I beg of you! Negativity after such an exciting escape does not seem appropriate.

WOGGLEBUG (soothing)
Are you not feeling well today?

GUMP waves its broom tail to and fro.

GUMP (pensive)
Oh, as for that, it is my first day of existence so I cannot judge whether I am feeling well or ill.

SCARECROW (kindly)
Come, come! Do try to be more cheerful and take life as you find it. We will strive to render your existence as pleasant as possible.

SCARECROW
Are you will to carry us through the air wherever we wish to go?

GUMP
Certainly. I greatly prefer to navigate the air for should I travel on the earth and meet anyone, my embarrassment would be something awful.

TIN WOODMAN (sympathetic)
I can appreciate that.

GUMP (pensive)
And yet, when I carefully look you over, none of you seems to be constructed much more artistically than I am?

WOGGLEBUG (earnest)
Appearances are deceitful. I am both highly magnified and thoroughly educated.

GUMP (indifferent)
Indeed…

SCARECROW (proudly)
And my brains are considered remarkably rare specimens.

GUMP
How strange…

TIN WOODMAN
Although I am of tin, I own a heart altogether the warmest in the world.

GUMP (sarcastic)
I’m delighted to hear it. (Cough.)

PUMPKINHEAD
My smile is worthy of your best attention.

GUMP (careless)
I am proud indeed to meet with such exceptional masters. If I could have as complete an understanding of what I am myself, I would be more than satisfied.

SCARECROW
That proves that you are unusual, and I am convinced that the only things worthy of consideration in this world are the unusual ones, for the common things are like the leaves of the tree that go unnoticed in their plentitude.

WOGGLEBUG
Spoken like a true philosopher.

TIN WOODMAN
Be kind enough to fly us to the South.

GUMP
All right.

GUMP flapped its four huge wings and turned toward the south and soared swiftly and majestically away.

SCARECROW
Hold on tight or you may tumble out!

PUMPKINHEAD
I wonder if riding through the air is liable to spoil pumpkins?

WOGGLEBUG
Not unless you carelessly drop your head over the side. In that event your head would no longer be a pumpkin, for it would become a squash… Hehehe. To an educated person, the temptation to express puns is almost irresistible.

TIP
People with more or less education discovered those puns centuries ago.

WOGGLEBUG (startled)
Are you sure?

TIP
Of course I am. And educated wogglebug may be a new thing but a wogglebug’s education is as old as the hills.

WOGGLEBUG looks impressed by this statement.

FADE OUT:
Act II Chapter 15 – IN THE JACKDAW’S NEST

FADE UP:

EXT: FLYING - MORNING

TIN WOODMAN
I can no longer tell where we are… We must turn around and go back.

TIP bends over to face GUMP’s head.

TIP (yelling)
Turn around!

GUMP
If I do, I shall upset, so the best plan would be for me to alight in some place, and then I can turn around and take a fresh start.

TIP (yelling)
Okay. Stop at the first level place you see.

GUMP
Very well.

GUMP flies down to settle on a table of rock between two cliffs but he bumps into an outcropping, tips sharply to the side and TIP falls out.

EXT: JACKDAW’S NEST - DAY

TIP falls into a giant NEST.

TIN WOODMAN, PUMPKINHEAD, SAWHORSE, and finally SCARECROW plop in beside TIP in the NEST.

TIN WOODMAN
Our journey has ended rather suddenly… How are we ever to escape from this nest? I must leave that to someone with better brains than me.

TIN WOODMAN stares beseechingly at SCARECROW then at WOGGLEBUG.

SCARECROW crawls to the edge of the NEST and looks over. Below them is a sheer precipice and above them is nothing.

WOGGLEBUG (sadly)
This is a worse prison than the palace.

PUMPKINHEAD (moaning)
I’m afraid the mountain air isn’t good for pumpkins.

WOGGLEBUG
It won’t be when the Jackdaws, for that is certainly who built this nest, come back – they are especially fond of pumpkins.

PUMPKINHEAD (distressed)
Do you think they will come here?

TIP
Of course they will for this is their nest… And there must be dozens of them… Look at how many things they have stolen. Jackdaws are clever thieves.

TIP picks up a pair of pliers.

TIP
And their nest is safely hidden where no person can ever find their stolen property.

WOGGLEBUG searches through the NEST with his hands.

WOGGLEBUG
Jackdaws steal valuable things as well as useless ones.

WOGGLEBUG holds up a diamond necklace.

SCARECROW, TIN WOODMAN & TIP are surprised.

TIN WOODMAN (admiringly)
What baubles these jackdaws have collected!

WOGGLEBUG holds up two handsome bracelets of wrought gold.

SCARECROW holds up his hands which has a ring on each finger and thumbs.

TIP holds up a fine GOLD WATCH.

PUMPKINHEAD hangs several bracelets on GUMP’s antlers.






Act II Chapter 16 – ATTACK OF THE JACKDAWS

EXT: JACKDAWS NEST – DAY

There is the sound of many flapping wings in the distance.

TIP (exclaiming)
The jackdaws are coming!

WOGGLEBUG
Hide Pumpkinhead.

WOGGLEBUG & PUMPKINHEAD bury themselves in the leafs of the NEST.

A flock of JACKDAWS descended with shrieks of rage.

TIN WOODMAN holds his ground, standing defiantly in the mist of the flying JACKDAWS, swinging his AXE valiantly.

TIP crouches under SAWHORSE, holding on as the JACKDAWS try to pull him away by his clothes.

JACKDAWS attack SCARECROW, tearing him to pieces and flying off with his STRAW.

SCARECROW (frightened)
Help! Help! HELPPPP!

STRAW flies everywhere.

GUMP begins to flap its wing, which cause a commotion among the JACKDAWS.

GUMP lifts off, wings flapping wildly, flying into the JACKDAWS, who become frightened and scream noisily in alarm.

JACKDAWS fly off in terror.

When the last JACKDAW disappears, TIP crawls out from under SAWHORSE.

TIP
We are saved!

WOGGLEBUG climbs out of the leaves of the nest.

WOGGLEBUG
We are indeed!

WOGGLEBUG hugs the head of GUMP.

WOGGLEBUG
We owe it all to the good axe of TIN WOODMAN and the flapping of our friend.

PUMPKINHEAD is out of the nest except for his head.

PUMPKINHEAD
If I am saved, get me out of here!

TIP pulls PUMPKINHEAD by the waist until his pumpkin head pops out of the refuse in the NEST.



Act II Chapter 17 – STUFFING SCARECROW

EXT: JACKDAW’S NEST - DAY

TIN WOODMAN (prideful)
I really think we have escaped very nicely.

SCARCROW (OS)
Not so!

TIN WOODMAN turns to look at Scarecrow’s head lying in the bottom of the NEST.

TIN WOODMAN is surprised.

SCARECROW (lamenting)
I am completely ruined.

TIN WOODMAN cradles SCARECROW’s head in his arms.

TIN WOODMAN (tenderly)
My poor, poor friend! Whoever could imagine you would come to this untimely end?

SCARECROW
I did it to save my friends, and I am glad that I perished in so noble and unselfish a manner.

WOGGLEBUG (confused)
But why are you so despondent?

WOGGLEBUG points to SCARECROW’s pants, shirt & hat in the bottom of the nest.

WOGGLEBUG
You clothing is still safe.

TIN WOODMAN
Yes… But his clothes are useless without stuffing.

TIP (curious)
Why not stuff him with money?

TIN WOODMAN, PUMPKINHEAD, WOGGLEBUG (simultaneous)
Money?!

TIP picks a load of BILLS in his arms.

TIP
To be sure. There is enough bills here to stuff a dozen scarecrows… So much so, that we can choose only thousand dollar bills if we want.

TIN WOODMAN, PUMPKINHEAD, WOGGLEBUG & TIP all begin stuffing SCARECROW with money.

SCARECROW stands up buttoning his bulging shirt – bills still sticking out and falling slowly down.

WOGGLEBUG (impressed)
You are now the most valuable member of our party.

SCARECROW (gratefully)
Thank you. And although at first glance I might be mistaken for a safety deposit vault, I beg you to remember that my brains are still composed of the same old material. And that is the possession that has always made me a person to be depended on in an emergency.

TIN WOODMAN
Well, the emergency is here, let us again take flight in the GUMP.








Act III Chapter 1 – WISHING PILLS

FADE UP:

EXT: FLYING - DAY

SCARECROW
I wish we could find Ozma from up here.

TIP’s eyebrows raise as he remembers something.

TIP takes the BOTTLE of Wishing pills from his pocket.

TIP
I have one other idea…

SCARECROW
You seem to have a reservoir of very good ideas to draw from. Let us hear it.

TIP
I also got these Wishing Pills from old Mombi.

TIP holds the back of the bottle close to his face so he can read the directions.

TIP (reciting)
Dr. Nikidik’s Celebrated Wishing Pills… Directions for use: swallow one pill, count to seventeen by twos then make a wish. The wish will immediately be granted.

SCARECROW (excited)
Why, this is a very valuable discovery.

TIP pours the contents of the BOTTLE into the palm of his hand.

TIP
There seem to be three pills left. We presumably have three wishes?

PUMPKINHEAD (excited)
Really?!

SCARECROW
But how can anyone possibly count to seventeen by twos?

PUMPKINHEAD (wailing)
Then the pills are of no use to us, and this fact overwhelms me with grief, for I had intended to use one of the pills wishing that my head would never spoil.

SCARECROW (sharply)
Nonsense! If we could use the pills at all, we would make far better wishes than that.

PUMPKINHEAD (protesting)
I do not see how anything could be better. If you were liable to spoil at anytime, you could understand my anxiety.

TIN WOODMAN
For my part, I sympathize with Pumpkinhead but since we cannot count seventeen by twos, sympathy is all you are liable to get.

TIN WOODMAN
Our friend H.M. Wogglebug claims to be highly educated, he should be able to figure out how that can be done?

WOGGLEBUG
It isn’t a question of education, it’s merely a question of mathematics. Anything can be done with “x’s” and “y’s,” and such things, by mixing them up with plenty of plusses and minuses and equals, and so forth.

PUMPKINHEAD (complaining)
Stop! Stop! You’re making my head ache.

SCARECROW
And mine. Your mathematics seems to me like a jar of mixed pickles – the more you fish for what you want, the less chance you have of getting it. I am certain that if the thing can be accomplished at all, it can be done very simply.

TIP
Why not start counting at minus one? Then anyone can count up to seventeen by twos very easily.

WOGGLEBUG and SCARECROW look at each other in surprise.

WOGGLEBUG bows to TIP.

WOGGLEBUG
You make me quite ashamed of myself.

PUMPKINHEAD
I wonder why I didn’t think of that myself.

SCARECROW looks at PUMPKINHEAD.

SCARECROW (wry)
I don’t.

SCARECROW
Let us make a wish at once.

TIP (cautiously)
Suppose you do it?

SCARECROW
I can’t. There’s no swallow connected to my mouth - I don’t have a tummy.

TIP
Then I will undertake to make the wish.

TIP takes one of the PILLS and swallows it.

SCARECROW (commanding)
Count!

TIP
Minus one, one, three, five, seven, nine, eleven, thirteen…, fifteen… seeeveeenteeen.

TIN WOODMAN (anxious)
Now wish!

TIP scrunches up his eyes.

TIP
I wiiiiiiiish that weeee…. Could find Ozma! (ends in a rush)

TIP leaves his eyes closed for a moment then opens them questioningly.

TIP looks around at SCARECROW & TIN WOODMAN & PUMPKINHEAD.

TIN WOODMAN
Hmmmm… Doesn’t seemed to have worked.

SCARECROW
It’s because he wished we could find Ozma, and we probably will… But Tip didn’t say ‘when’!

WOGGLEBUG (professorial)
Undoubtedly that is true.

TIP slapped himself on the forehead.

TIP (anguished)
Why didn’t I think my wish out more clearly before I made it?!

SCARECROW
Don’t worry too much… We still have two more pills.

WOGGLEBUG
Let me try one… I will be as exact in my phrasing as a good education allows.

WOGGLEBUG delicately takes one of the pills from TIP.

WOGGLEBUG deliberately places the pill in his mouth… Swallows then waits a moment.

WOGGLEBUG (deliberately)
I have counted to seventeen in my head... I wish that Ozma was standing right here next to me.

Everyone looks at WOGGLEBUG, then at each other.

TIP (disappointed)
Nothing!

TIN WOODMAN
Apparently these “Wishing Pills” are more wishful thinking than wish fulfilling.

WOGGLEBUG
Wishes have never really impressed me… And, in fact, I have never seen one up close, so without proof, I doubt they even exist.

SCARECROW
Oh, we must continue our search for Ozma.

PUMPKINHEAD (concerned)
Oh! Don’t give up on the Wishing Pills yet! I was going to use one of the extra pills to wish that my head would not spoil.

TIP
Well, there is only one left but they haven’t worked so far so I doubt they will start working now. If you want to try it you may but I would give it no thought if we experienced yet another failure of wishes.

PUMPKINHEAD looked anxious. He cups his hands so that TIP can put the last PILL into them.

PUMPKINHEAD stares down at the pill longingly.

PUMPKINHEAD
This has got to work… My head cannot survive much longer… I can already feel my thoughts starting to mush together.

TIN WOODMAN and SCARECROW look at one another, concerned.

PUMPKINHEAD carefully tilts his cupped hands to his mouth. There is a tink sound when the pill falls into his pumpkin head.

PUMPKINHEAD looks at TIN WOODMAN then SCARECROW then WOGGLEBUG then TIP.

PUMPKINHEAD closes his eyes tight.

PUMPKINHEAD
I wish… I wish my pumpkin head would never spoil.

SCARECROW (sorry)
Oh, Pumpkinhead, you forgot to count to seventeen by twos…

Right then, PUMPKINHEAD is enveloped in a cloud of smoke. The smoke swirls around for a while.

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, WOGGLEBUG & TIP stare concernedly, into the smoke.


Act III Chapter 2 – PRINCESS OZMA

EXT: FLYING - DAY

The smoke clears and OZMA is left seated where Pumpkinhead had been.

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, WOGGLEBUG & TIP open their eyes wide with surprise.

TIN WOODMAN (unbelieving)
Ozma?

OZMA’s eyes open wide.

OZMA
Oh, this is a surprise!

OZMA
I am transformed back into my true self, and with my true body comes my true memories.

OZMA’s face gets angry.

OZMA
Grrrr… That Mombi… She tricked me! And turned me into a pumpkin head… I am so mad at her!

SCARECROW (relieved)
Ozma, we are just so glad to have you back.

OZMA looks with concern at TIN WOODMAN then SCARECROW then PUMPKINHEAD then WOGGLEBUG.

OZMA
I hope none of you will care less for me now than you did before. I’m just the same, you know, only…

TIN WOODMAN
Only you’re different.

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, PUMPKINHEAD & WOGGLEBUG all smile and laugh.

TIN WOODMAN
Ozma, how came you to be a pumpkin head?

OZMA’s eyes squint.

OZMA (angry)
That Mombi came to beseech me on behalf of her poor nephew, Tip, to look into his past and find where his parents were. While I was vulnerable, watching the past in my mind, Mombi must have used the opportunity to change me.

TIP
“Tip?” That’s me!

TIP
It pains me to think Mombi used me to trick you, Ozma.

OZMA smiles at TIP.
Well, now that you’ve helped rescue me, I’d say our slate is even. I may even owe you a little bit…

TIP smiles.

SCARECROW (meekly)
There’s one other thing, Ozma…

OZMA
Scarecrow, what could that be? What could be worse than being turned into a pumpkin head?

SCARECROW (meekly)
Well… You see… Hmmmm… Mombi was in league with a usurper girl, Jinjur. Mombi turned you into a pumpkin head so that Jinjur could become queen of the Emerald City in your place…

OZMA’s eye widen in alarm.

OZMA
Another occupies my throne in the Great Hall?!

TIN WOODMAN
Uhhhh… Kind of… But we tried to get it back for you. But that Jinjur, she’s a crafty girl.

OZMA’s face becomes stern.

OZMA (commanding)
Fly me to the Emerald City.

SCARECROW (softly)
Somebody’s going to be in trouuubbbble.

FADE OUT:



Act III Chapter 3 – OZMA RETURNS

FADE IN:

EXT: FLYING - DAY

The EMERALD CITY appears on the horizon.

EXT: EMERALD CITY WALL – DAY

GUMP lands in front of the WALL.

OZMA, TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, WOOGLEBUG & SAWHORSE get out of GUMP onto the YELLOW BRICK ROAD.

OZMA marches up to the WALL.

OZMA (commanding)
Open!

The HIDDEN OPENING whooshes open.

OZMA marches through. The GIRLS ARMY runs away.

OZMA marches towards the CASTLE.

OZMA marches up the MARBLE STEPS of the CASTLE.

OZMA goes inside the CASTLE.

TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, WOOGLEBUG & SAWHORSE stand outside looking at each other.

Things are silent for a moment then OZMA comes out of the CASTLE and down the MARBLE STEPS dragging JINJUR by the ear.

JINJUR (whining)
Oh, Ozma, I am so sorrrrrry… I did not know when you were coming so I was just holding things until you got back.

OZMA walks past TIN WOODMAN, SCARECROW, TIP, WOOGLEBUG & SAWHORSE and pushes JINJUR forward by the ear away from them.

JINJUR stumbles off and slinks away to a great chorus of cheers.

OZMA (yelling)
You tell Mombi that I’m coming for her! And I’ll have something special prepared.

JINJUR looked back then begins to run.

OZMA laughs.

The MEN of the Emerald City cast off their aprons.

The WOMEN of the Emerald City hug the MEN.

FADE OUT:

ACT II Chapter 4 - THE RICHES OF CONTENT

FADE UP:

EXT: OUTSIDE EMERALD CITY GATE - DAY

TIN WOODMAN
It is time to return home to the Kingdom of the Winkies. When I get there I shall have a new coat of nickel-plate, for I have become somewhat marred and scratched lately; and then I shall be glad to have you pay me a visit, Ozma.

OZMA
Thank you; I accept your invitation… Tip, H.M. Wogglebug and Sawhorse are going to stay here with me.

TIP nods.

TIP
Living in the Emerald City will be MUCH better than living with old Mombi.

OZMA
What about you Scarecrow?

SCARECROW
I will return with my friend, Tin Woodman. We have much rest and relaxation to attend to.

TIN WOODMAN
I have made Scarecrow my Royal Treasurer for it has occurred to me that it is a good thing to have a Royal Treasurer who is made of money.

TIN WOODMAN looks at OZMA.

TIN WOODMAN
What do you think?

OZMA
I think that your friend must be the richest one in all of Oz.

SCARECROW
I am… But not on account of my money, for I consider brains far superior to money in every way. You may have noticed that if one has money without brains, one cannot use it to advantage; but if one has brains without money, they will enable one to live comfortably to the end of one’s days.

TIN WOODMAN
At the same time you must acknowledge that a good heart is a thing that brains cannot create and that money cannot buy. Perhaps, after all, it is I who am the richest one in all Oz.

OZMA (gently)
You are both rich, my friends… And your riches are the only riches worth having – the riches of content!

THE END