Authenticity

[Martin Hash]

I spent over a decade engaging in conspicuous consumption. I had multiple businesses with lots of people around me. At the time, my 20s-40s, I thought I was a popular guy: everyone laughed at my jokes, lots of obsequious interaction, but most satisfying was that everyone listened to me.

However, something about the situation didn't seem genuine. Yeah, it was like what you see on tv and read in fiction stories, but I was damn good at observation, and the interactions were illogical. I was getting the distinct impression people fawned over me because they thought they could get something, rather than friendship, admiration or respect.

I came up with an experiment. Normally, I sent out dozens, sometimes 100s, of emails a week, or otherwise in constant manager mode. It dawned on me that it had always been me contacting other people rather than back-and-forth interaction. I slowly dialed that down to see who would make the effort to correspond unilaterally. I quit making offers where money or opportunity flowed from me but instead waited for quid pro quo. I stopped having parties, organizing group vacations, giving gifts of gold coins for Christmas. My plan was to see who emailed me? Who invited me? Who would miss me?

To my chagrin, no one. I thought I'd squeeze the tap tighter, wait longer - eventually my REAL friends would come through, right? Right? No, that didn't happen. Unless I was turning the crank, the machine did not run. It all started and stopped with me. It took another decade to decide what I thought about that?

Whatever I get going in the future, it will not be because I paid for it, or gave detailed instructions every day then followed up. Every time I start making noises like I'm going back to my old ways, my wife pounds down hard. "You R NOT going to be exploited again!" she insists.

The really good thing that came out of the past 6 decades was wisdom, insight & self-awareness. Plus, I got to write my own philosophy book.

[heydaralon]

I understand how you feel Martin. I impart huge amounts of insight to this forum and I never get anything back. Sure, I have the respect of you and some others, but how much is that really worth? I had plenty of respect before I joined, and frankly I have a bit of a surplus at the moment. What I really wanted all along, was money. Not a lot mind you, but enough for me to become a proper gentleman. I understand your reluctance. This is the internet after all, but we've known eachother for a long time you and me. And you said earlier you gave your friends money, so since we are friends, where's mine? I apologize for the mildly demanding tone of this post Martin, I'm just a little anxious for my friendship compensation is all.

[DrYouth]

Well Marty pays for this forum for one thing...

So that's something right?



But I am beginning to love you Marty... <3

[DBTrek]

I’m still wondering where he got taken advantage of?

[Martin Hash]

I’m still wondering where he got taken advantage of?

I was living in my Disneyesque-imagined life. Since I've been enlightened, I often mention to my wife that it was a good thing that during most of it, I was too naïve and unaware to know what the real situation was, and since perception IS reality, it was real, and it was good. I don't regret it but I wouldn't repeat it because now I know. (I often make reference to "Flowers for Algernon." People who've read that book understand.)

[DrYouth]

I’m still wondering where he got taken advantage of?

I'm thinking freeloaders.

Obviously not enough freeloaders to drag him down entirely...

but he's shaken off some of the pesky parasites...

Luckily not us!

[Martin Hash]

Not freeloaders - mercenaries.

[DrYouth]

Not freeloaders - mercenaries.

Paid militia?
Hit men?

[C-Mag]

Your best friends in life don't pull punches. They give the good and bad news upfront equally and are willing to criticize or praise you as you deserve.



We must be your best friends

[DrYouth]

We must be your best friends

Best friends who are planning to make it to Marty's next Christmas Party!