DrYouth wrote:Speaker to Animals wrote:Sorry, doc, but it's absolutely essential to discuss who is at fault for this, even more so because the same sex responsible for it in the first place are the same ones who, politically, keep reform from happening.
Ok...
Enlighten me.
(Let's leave the question of how women are responsible for the miserable state of marriage aside for the moment... you may have spoken to this above...)
What reforms would help rescue marriage from it's miserable state?
How are women in particular keeping reform from happening?
You already know the answers to those questions. Don't play coy.
Reform the the family court system so that it no longer incentivizes divorces. Default joint physical custody, with absolutely no money exchanging hands. If we need mediators, then pay for that instead. Allow them to work out how to share bills like tuition and healthcare with the mediators. The judge can be the final arbiter of that, but they each get their own bill to pay. Neither of them profits in any way. Divorce is painful and expensive. Women need to shoulder their fair burden of it, especially given the fact that they caused it 8 times out of ten.
Stop rewarding single motherhood. No more welfare for them. Public assistance should come in the form of free child care, job training, and (if necessary) meal plans for kids where they are fed at schools/day care, and they can take dinners home with them. Absolutely no cash should go directly to a single parent who can't afford their kids. Nor do they really need it. They need job training and child care. That's really it.
We are subsidizing a social and moral collapse by taking money from men (individually or collectively) and handing it to irresponsible women. That has to stop. If some woman decides she wants a different man, and leaves her husband, then she should bear the costs of that. It's her decision to wreck the family. It's a reprehensible decision to make, and society ought to make that very clear to her. In particular, men ought to avoid such women like the plague they are.
We already discussed in DCF threads the impact of feminist groups on attempts to reform the family court system with even the most basic equality-based policies. We don't need to illustrate that once again. You already know what they do.
And that doesn't mean I think men are all innocent either. There exists plenty of things I would like to change about men right now. Men need to stop acting like utilities to women. Men in power need to stop enabling this kind of behavior and treat women like adults no differently than if those women are men. Women need to receive the same sentencing for the same crimes as men (they currently receive far less punishment for the same crimes, mostly because of male judges). Men need to stop pretending like there exists pride in effacing yourself to women. Something has gone horribly wrong in our society. This culture where men are all sitting around waiting to be chosen by women, and constantly demonstrating their utility to women by doing irrational favors and sacrificing all their money for women, is totally killing us. It kills the masculine spirit and it leads to this sense of entitlement and privilege that causes women to think they deserve the right to walk all over their families and ruin their children's and husband's lives so they can "find themselves", or whatever other crackpot rationalization they concoct to justify this crap.
What really concerns me is how so many men, perceiving this double standard and coveting that privilege for themselves, decide the only way they can improve their lot is by feminizing (either becoming the beta clinger who is essentially waiting in line at some woman's life) or literally pretending to be a woman now.
The biological categories have been shattered, the roles diminished, and society is just disintegrating at the fundamental level. People are losing their identities. Men lose their sense of purpose and hope. This isn't how our civilization is supposed to be run. This is like a cancerous mutation.
I do think that men, being more detached, are better able to accept a dysfunctional marriage in some cases. Lots of time at the office, which might not all be spent working. Business trips, where you might have a fling or see a prostitute. Meanwhile, she is mired in the home, especially if she has a real job. 