The Barack Obama Brand

[Martin Hash]

Obama Shirt.JPG

When I climbed aboard the Barack Obama train as Washington State delegate during his historic run for the U.S. presidency, little did I know of the breath of Mr. Obama’s fashion empire, culinary sense, transportation franchise, building enterprises, and all the myriad other business and professional activities in which he seems to be involved in Africa.

And there’s still the question of whether it’s “boxers or briefs:” I’ve seen Barack’s name on both, however, his smiling face seems to only adorn the business end of boxers. They’re so common and prevalent, it may be that everyone in Africa has Barack Obama caressing their ass-cheeks. School children carry Barack Obama backpacks, lunchboxes, and windbreakers. The Obama name graces taxicabs, semi tractor-trailer rigs, dugout canoes, city buses – even outhouses proudly display the Barack Obama nameplate. I hazard to guess that a whole generation of kids will be confused in school when every single boy, and many of the girls, will all be named Barack Obama.

The Internet doesn’t bow to every pretty face. Ordinarily vicious, insane bloggers are not in the habit of deifying just anybody. For the record, Barack’s mother is white and he was born in Hawaii, not Jerusalem – I think a lot of people might have forgotten. Also, Mr. Obama is a multi-millionaire attorney, former hard-knuckles-bare-chested Chicagoan politician. However, having made it clear I know these facts, there is no better time, nor has there been in the past 100 years, for an American to tour Africa. I directly benefit from Barack Obama’s estate of grace.

Africans are proud of their native son. More than proud: ecstatic – unbelievingly, overwhelmingly joyful. All Americans are their brothers – or at least best friends. Sometimes their only English vocabulary is “money” and “Barack Obama.” All that is needed to turn an AK47 to a more benign direction is to mention that you personally know Barack Obama and have eaten at his home. God bless the American Ideal.