TRAVEL MALADIES

[Martin Hash]

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Let’s define a travel malady as something that hinders your ability to sleep because if a few days go by without a refreshing slumber, you’re travel experience will certainly turn evil. When first starting our journey through Africa, the stimulating locale and experiences brought along a few discomforts, especially for novice travels. Over a period of several sleepless nights the following list of irritants manifest themselves:

1. Temperature

2. Comfort

3. Privacy

4. Bathroom

5. Food

Folks accustomed to air-conditioning have low tolerance for temperatures above 90 degrees, especially at night. Combined with humidity and a constant film of sweat covering your body made sleep impossible.

Riding in a vehicle for 10 hours a day, having no where to sit at a campsite, sleeping on the ground – all of these things were more a lack of comfort than uncomfortable.

Spending 24/7 in close confinement with two dozen other people is stressful in the extreme. Nothing else about traveling is more difficult to accommodate. On the positive side, you develop your “people skills.”

Let’s face it, I know our ancestors pooped in the forest, but us Moderns simply find it difficult to relax in such primitive circumstances. Even if some kind of facilities are available, they are usually little more than a hole in the ground, and the smell itself is enough to discourage your performance.

Eating foods new and unique is normally a pleasurable experience, but familiar food is also a great source of comfort. Lack of tastebud-friendly eating is a subtle but important source of stress.

I figured that I could personally accommodate 3 of the 5 above irritants and still travel like a champion but as we got deeper into Sub-Sahara Africa the list lengthened.

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6. Bugs

7. Courtesy

8. Illness

Nothing quite says “camping” like bugs – especially the flying, biting ones. And if you scratch them the bites have a propensity to become infected at such a level that a full course of antibiotics is required. The mental anguish from thinking you’re going to die from a mosquito bite can quickly dampen your travel enthusiasm.

People can live in crowded groups only when each individual exhibits a minimum amount of courtesy towards the others. Yeah, sometimes you just can’t prevent that fart from escaping, but it’s not too difficult not to take two blankets when someone else doesn’t even have one.

Not counting diarrhea as a serious illness, but definitely including malaria in that category, being sick is a bummer whether in situ or not. Lying on your back puking while everyone else is enjoying a casual trip down the Nile could leave a lasting negative impression.

9. Noise

10. Cleanliness

In Moslem countries, the loudspeaker-enhanced wailing five times a day is noisy enough without loud drinking parties lasting late into the night. Also, personal music preference is indeed personal – there is no need to put your iPod on the public amplifier.

A surprising entry in the Maladies list and one that doesn’t exhibit itself immediately is “cleanliness.” I didn’t think a little thing like dirt would ever keep me from a snooze but if you go long enough, the human body becomes a cesspool of discomfort. It’s not the smell, your olfactory senses quickly acclimate – it’s the gritty grime. I find it amazing how a 10 minute sponge-bath will lift your mood.

There are obviously more incidentals that could and would be detrimental to your travel experience but “boredom” is #11 and if this essay was any longer, that malady would apply.