Will's Weight Collection

[Martin Hash]

Will's a millionaire... in pounds that is.

He's a different kind of collector: where some people save stamps, and others have antique furniture - Will collects things by weight. Will bought five acres out in the country to keep his collection because things that weigh a lot tend to be large. For example, Will has over a dozen old automobiles on his property, but to him that's only so many tons. His room-sized lathe is another ten tons, and his sawmill sinks far into the soil. But Will's greatest treasure is his trains - real trains: diesel and steam locomotives, box cars, passenger cars... he's trying to get a caboose.

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Recently, Will bought a crane to lift his heavy stuff. It's a train crane. It can lift a couple locomotives, no sweat. Unfortunately, his new train crane is so heavy that his railroad tracks won't hold it. Will's buying some new, really heavy track and is installing it with his old, tiny 20,000 pound crane truck.

We had the Hash Christmas party at my house. It's a thermal efficiency home, constructed of foot-thick concrete walls, a cement foundation, and a metal roof. The design prompted the newspaper to compliment its sleek elegance, and the columned twenty-foot high ceilings, marble floors, and granite countertops. However Will offered the greatest praise: he said, "it sure looks heavy."