Trampoline

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Martin Hash
Posts: 18806
Joined: Wed Jan 20, 2010 2:02 pm

Trampoline

Post by Martin Hash » Wed Feb 24, 2010 1:07 pm

As a scientific experiment, my wife, Gwynne, and I went out to dinner. “Experiment?” you ask. Well, there were some other elements of the experiment: for example, we left the door open and heavy equipment in the backyard… And it was nighttime, (did I mention that?) And my son, Heath, lives in town. These things add up.

I suppose it makes a kind of sense: I mean, what would you do if you were in your 20s, there was an unattended 60-foot boomlift and a trampoline?

There are several levels of poor judgment exhibited here:
1) 60-foot boomlift belongs to a burly-armed Roofing Contractor who doesn’t much like the a-holes he has to work for and would like an excuse to use his nailgun.
2) Taking a 60-foot boomlift without permission is vehicular theft.
3) 60-foot boomlifts weigh about 10,000 pounds. Drainfields can only support about 500 pounds.
4) TRAMPOLINE?!

When you’re in your 20s, you don’t play chess very well because you can only think 2 moves ahead, i.e.:
1) Controlled falling from 60 feet in the air is fun
2) Uncontrolled bouncing up from trampoline is fun
But a guy in his 30s can think 3 moves ahead:
3) Falling from 50 feet in the air while no longer over a trampoline may be inadvisable.
That’s why older people live longer.

Luckily, Heath had to drive the 60-foot boomlift over my drainfield to get to the trampoline (moving the trampoline was probably too much trouble), because once the heavy lift got out over the plastic leachpipe, all four wheels sunk down to their axels, (not to mention the foot-deep ruts left in my lawn by the tires). Apparently, he had to call a heavy-duty truck towtruck to pull it out because the normal-sized towtruck couldn’t do it. (I know this because Heath charged both towtrucks to the company credit card.)

Heath was pretty sly about the whole thing: he hosed the mud off the 60-boomlift and put it back where it belonged then he pretended not to see all the lawn damage from the towtrucks or huge pits in my drainfield. It must have worked because the next morning James & Jason only commented on how the sprinklers were keeping the grass really green this summer.
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