Strip Joints

[Martin Hash]

My oldest son, Heath, can now go to strip clubs. He takes this responsibility very seriously, making sure that on each of his friend's eighteenth birthdays they go to a strip club for the first time. He's notorious for staying out late on a strip club night, so-much-so that he was picked to be a "judge" of a bikini contest at one of the larger joints. As coincidence would have it, my wife, Gwynne, was going out with the girls to see the Chippendales on the same night.
On the evening of the big event, Heath primped and preened, and even though the place didn't open until 8pm, he was ready to go at 7.
"How do I look?" he asked me before he left.
"Like a Bikini Contest judge," I replied.
"Where's mom?"
"She's going to a strip joint tonight too."
"And you're here alone?"
I just shrugged.
The next day in the office, all the guys wanted to know about Heath's famous evening.
"Well," said Heath. "The winner got to go on MTV..."
"Yeah?"
"So they all wanted to win..."
"Yeah? Yeah?"
"So, there were tops popin' all over the place! I had an eyeful. It was great!"
"What time did you get home?"
"3:30am."
"Wow! You must have had a good time..." Wink, wink.
"Well," said Heath sagely. "It's all a matter of perspective."
"Perspective? At a strip joint? What are you talking about?"
"Well," replied Heath. "You've got to keep in mind that my mom got back from her strip joint later than I did."